Cringing at the Chinese Challenge

The terror! The majesty! The utter horror! Tomorrow's the first ever chinese test i'll be taking in 1 whole year! Its swift revenge is unavoidable. Imminent failure will be heralded in as the clock strikes 2pm on April Fool's Day, 2005. This time around, i'm not even equipped with my trusty shield of a chinese tuition teacher...

I still vividly remember Term(inator) 1 in 2004 (because chinese swore 'I'll be Baaak"), where the O level results for the nov '03 chinese paper were released. I achieved the inferior grade of B3 (yet it was my highest ever...)

Faced with the prospect of either stooping to the level of shameless 'appealers' to stay in HCL or consigning myself to the dark and dank recesses of the express chinese dungeons, i crumbled under the pressure. And opted to simply drop all forms of chinese, in effect forsaking my culture, my heritage, my bane...

Peace and tranquility reigned over the land of Dwayne for the rest of that year. I skipped around carefreely during chinese class and cheerily finished all my homework in advance. The meadows were blooming, the flowers were blossoming, the radiant sunlight shone for once in my dreary life as pixies pranced around spiritedely in the open plains of my mind.
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Until today. The eve of the chinese test. Without a tuition teacher. Still stoning in front of the comp blogging. Tired from my first complete school week in a month.

Hmm. Methinks i really have to go now... jian zi shi bai ju guo xi.



Fretting to... Avril Lavigne's rude interview on 98.7 - Av Lav

Blog Hog's Delayed Wallowing...

I discovered Xiaxue's blog, after much much hype on the newspapers and the Local Brand endorsement thing. And aye, whats so good about it??? Although the writing is personal and superb and acerbic and brilliantly sarcastic... Um, nevermind. I initially doubted its credibility as a medium for proper non-porno entertainment. However, with the implosion of the blogspot servers, i had absolutely nothing to do but go blog hunting. Looks like i've bagged me some big game!

Hmm. I guess my level of humour and sophistication just can't match hers. She's witty, humourous and had me cracking up quite a few times during her recent entries. There's also the fact that she is rather tasty eye-candy *sluups*. Haha but then my heart belongs to some undisclosed else liao. May serendipity bring us together one day.

To those who read my blog and enjoy it, PUBLICISE ME as i did xiaxue's! I wants much much attention *flashes a face of fervent fury*! Adults can read this too! WOOwoowWOo. Ok ok take it easy. Breathe slowly. ahhhhhh. I guess some of xiaxue's bubbly effervescence and the bottomless financial potential of the blogging industry has really got me disillusioned.

Cue to Subway to sponsor me NOW to avoid breaking one of it's loyal customer's hearts!

Besides that, i managed to scale the daunting mountainous task that is Chem tut 4! This really (isnt) rather miraculous because chemistry makes the world go round : ). Especially since money and love are simply complex chemical reagents and reactions respectively...
Not only does chemistry rock, it causes the formation of rocks too O.o. Riiite. I shall stop my pugnacious pimping of a subject more than 50% of people in triple science seem to loathe.

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Rather Randomly Redundant Romp @ NUS

Today, i was supposed to go down to NUS for another SRP lecture. In my usual absent-mindedness, i must have gotten many, many worms thanks to my extremely early arrival. I guess i am quite bird-brained in the first place. This lecture was unceremoniously OPTIONAL! Upon hearing that i immediately bolted out of the depressingly dull LT 31, though not before marking my attendance and grabbing myself a tantalising banana ball.

Oh and for those of you who follow my shitty (literally) life ala voyeurs, i couldnt tahan and had to relieve myself from my excretory orifices at the NUS toilet. Shit Spattered Spat... For a measly banana ball and a crapper in one of the crappier toilets, the 1.5-hour long trip there and back was totally a waste of time.

Furthermore, I think i actually acquired more scientific knowledge on the lengthy ride home thanks to the indispensible tome that is 8 Days (cue another sponsorship). I mean, who wants to listen to hour-long, deathly boring lectures on mechanical engineering when there's trashy Singaporean gossip to indulge in??

Since my entire Wednesday was virtually ruined due to this fiasco (i went down and arrived at NUS at 3:30 pm, returned to j8 at only about 5. And on the ONE day i'm dismissed early from school), i resolved to make the best of a bad situation, and bought the...

Chemistry Textbook!!!

E.e

Talk about exorbitance. Ramsden Chem cost a whopping $68. That and all my peripheral stationery ("MORE MORE" i lustfully growl) spent a large percentage of the uniform money i owed my father. This in itself didnt justify 'making the day worthwhile' and i went and got the dense overgrown patch of tangly fibres that is my hair cut.

My hair's characteristic double whorls gives it the propensity to grow back in the EXACT SAME WAY (picture Friar Tuck with a more fulsome crop). No matter what cut. No matter how i style. Arrgh how troublesome, i'm stuck with 'Armani' for the rest of my life since thats what i look remotely good in (read: as ugly as a washmop). This must be the punishment i get for being sooo naughty (haha the double whorls signify cheekiness or something in chinese customs o.O).

Whewz. i havent really ranted like this on my blog in.. hmm, lets see, 1 week or so. So for whoever who had the determination and perseverance to make it this far into the entry, you WIN the prize of ultimate satisfaction. That and nothing else except possibly my kudos.

I'm empathically sensing that none of you truthfully want to continue reading on, right? Well. Too bad.

While walking all the way home from j8, I kept regurgitating my semi-digested tuna and mushroom linguini in all its caustic sourness. What dumped a whole truckload of salt into my gushing open wounds was the fact that I drinking the ever-so-gorgeous Honey Milk Tea w/ jelly in synchrony with the belching. This unorthodox blend of tastes was... indescribably disgusting.

Hmm. 'indescribably digusting' actually managed to encompass the boundaries of its toxicity. How ironic. I dubbed it 'Bubbile Tea', btw...

Okok. The conscious effort to not scare away any more readers (or blogders haha) via over-blogging is now in effect.


Note: This article was typed out on the rather frigid and unfeeling WordPad. Not only because of the Blogger technicians most probably sipping Milo too near the keyboards but also that i have no alternative medium with which to channel my myriad of scattered and disarrayed thoughts and emotions for this jam-packed day (read: get me original Microsoft Word). Pardon the lack of warmth that typing in the Blogger 'Create Post' window offers contrary to this.



Rambling muches to... Almost - Bowling for Soup

sl-EZ Links

Uggh. Tired more or less with the sudden influx of 8:00 pm ending vball sessions coupled with the PEs and the sleepless nights... Too late and busty, uh, busy to bother updating a full and proper entry, so i'll give you all links to go and 'entertain' yourselves:

• Badder Bladder Badger
• Whatever that is, it's Einstein's
• FIRE ZE MISSILES!
• Dance Dance Devolution
• Miya-HEE! Miya-HO!
• No's way i have to go to school
• Kindergarten show gone horribly wrong

Enjoy enjoy! I know i did... in some weird and perverse way, at least!
MSN and my internet are also being bitches, with all bark and no bite... WHERE IS MY CONNECTIVITY!?

As of now, my days will be forever jam-packed... With Vball till 8-ish on mon, tue and thur, SRP shits on wed and sat, baptism class on sat and church on sun, with lots of new hobbies and homework making my life much more than half-empty (aay im feeling pessimistic now)...

Its made more busy by my own idiosyncracies: I know i'm weird in that i feel forever compelled to finish my homework eons before its actually due (read: the day its given), but hey, delayed satisfaction >>> stress and guilt and that nagging voice (which is not my grandmother's, though just as irritating)



Bonding chemically with... 1 Thing - Amerie

Poet Re-cap

Somehow or other, i've always seemed to fulfil my one-entry-a-day quota... The implications about my life (or lack thereof) this must conjure up! Fret not, for i've realised the same and am now dedicating my life to 2 more magazines: Time and Newsweek. This is in addition to Blender, Discover and countless Marvel titles, the best in their genres. The filled subscription forms lie listlessly on my patriarch's bed, awaiting his accommodation and assistance (aka credit card numbers).

Hyper Kas seemed to imply that she had disclosed the location of my blog to some pesky adult (read: my father). If so, STUUUUUUPID BEEETCH since he'll find yours too. Most probably its not though, so take everything read in the previous sentence as some crude and barbaric joke.

Vball started again! After a prolonged, never-ending and draggy break. Today was relatively slack, with us doing 600 digs as a pair (not anything sexual, u porno-ficionados), followed by a free and easy game in the adjoining court while the J2s prepped for their competitions.

Found a new philo-phile in Huan Ting, who also goes home by the dreaded 93 bus, which trundles from stop to stop with intervals of at least half an hour... In that time, we discussed many topics ranging from familial life, economics, superpowers (not political, non-fiction :P) and Singapore's education system O.o Heh fun fun! Made one of my best friends this way when we also had to endure the painstakingly slow bus 93s from Queensway Shopping Centre, so its not only reminiscent and nostalgic, but refreshing and new as well.

(Am currently typing with one hand, my unbi-dexterous left at that, because im savouring a sumptuous and mouth-watering sweet pear in a bid to quench some of that post-vball thirst)

True story from the last night (or rather, this morning):

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World Insomniac

Dreams allure one in the night
Rest tempts one in the twilight
Yet events the day beyond trouble thee
Events that one simply wants to flee
The sleepless dreams haunt one, taunt one
With ever increasing exponentiality
Insomnia never was one's speciality
Worry
Anxiety
Come full circle
The day arrives
No prior rest, all sleep deprived.
Alas
Miracle after miracle
The day passes better than expected
Thank the Creator!
...
And one is left to court dreams
In the inviting lecture theatre.

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Anyway, Desperate Housewives beckons, and i must hastily retreat to the confines of my cosy silk-laced bed to bask in its witty radiance.



Drowzing off to... Desperate Housewives Theme - OST DH

21st Century Hero: Super-size-Man

Realised i had a 19 day holiday. What with all the ponnin.. ur.. missing of school due to my teeth and the 2nd orientation. However, out of these, i had to wake up early for 8 of them. That's how crap lor... Holidays are for sleeeep. Sleeeeep that cures all sianness.

ARRGH. Stuck at Nick's house now (fyi Nick is not a dog). Even though the whole gang is here, everyone's either fast asleep or transfixed in front of the myriad of flashing computers (heh talk about verbal irony). The sentences of this blog entry are also oozing with utter boredom and overly descriptive laziness, dragging on forever and ever in what seems to be the swirling tempest of a void (hmm a sense of poetic inspiration seems to be trying in vain to force its way into my head from the humid, sizzling surroundings).

Ok boredom over.

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Haha which brings me to the many spoofs and satires i've formulated around fast food (which i have, unfortunately, succumbed to again for breakfast).

Firstly, CNB-certified Chiky Meal from KFC (Ketamine Feeds Children), consisting of a Large Coke w/ Ice, a Hashburger and of course, a wonderful playtoy for the kids: Their very own Hypodermic needles. Be careful though, or else kena raid then i'm sure all your bladders will leave you (or be surgically removed due to the cancer).

+
= Happy Meal ;}

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Secondly, the world of PokeMcDonalds is proud to unveil a new PokeMcMon: McUk. McUk's origins are unknown and speculative at best. Some say he's the scraped off grease from under the French Fry stoves. Others claim that he is the by-product of several toxic additives mixing together in copious quantities in the hamburgers and gaining the gift of life (or undeath) post-irradiation of the patties. Yet others insist he is the liposuctioned fats from the average obese fast-food patron.

However, as with the release of every new McMon, everybody's dying (literally) to get it. Gotta catch em all right? I guess it applies to diseases such as diabetes and Hep B as well...


McUk looking delish!

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Aside from all the humour and social commentary, this definitely isnt very different from fast-foods now especially since they're filled with drugs of their own in the form of processed sugars and excessive sodium. The mass-production also substitutes character and genuine flavour from their self-proclaimed delicacies. While there are others such as me who have realised the bane of junk foods, multitudes more discover the 'awesome' taste and satisfaction the sugar/caffeine/salt high gives them.

Edit: Guess what. I'm having fast-food again for lunch. XKK's house is positively (or negatively) the junk(food)yard liaos... At leas its Mosburger, which is healthier. Right? Right???



Gorging and Fattening up to... Nothin's Free - Lil Jon

Taking a Bite out of Apple

Creative should have made my Friday a really Good one... However, they chose to malinger and completely ignore the ciomplaint email i crafted with extreme finesse and patience. Sigh. This just makes me want to tech (haha pun.) support from some other brand (anything that's not ipod, though).

The reason? Apple and its resident iPods are the overpriced, ACBNC and low-quality overlords of the MP3 industry (hence the zealous anarchy). Creative and Zen, on the other hand, are cheap and reasonable. Not to mention local and purely pimping. Its just by fluke (read: overuse) that my poor not-so-old Zen Touch failed on me...

Who wants an outwardly poser MP3 player when it spends a large proportion of time in the dark recesses and crevices of one's pocket? Who would relish the inferior sound quality provided ever so superbly by Apple and its iPods? Who wants to join the thronging majorities as they flock to advocate Apple and all sport poser white earphones?

Definitely not me. An Apple a day keeps the Dwaynie away.

Note: The author of this entry was in no way endorsed by Creative or any other MP3 manufacturing companies to produce this article.

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In other significant events, i have designed a new masterpiece of a signature for the tacky and troublesome 'wang' aspect of my name (try signing a cool 'wang'. Nicely. Without it looking like preschool penmanship.). It involves some sexy 'h' like things substituting constituents of the 'w' and all sorts of complex nuances and innuendos that make it lusty and sultry. Hopefully this will take off some of the negative connotations associated with the surname (ie wangker) and provide me with much more entertainment when having only a blank pad and a pen.

Scored a whopping 6 goals in soccer earlier... Damn shagged (hmm doesnt sound right) after our continuous 3 hours of playing. Obviously, the goals i scored were at most cheap laps or embarrassing tap-ins. I need to learn to dribble more... Always end up losing the ball to the greater forces at work (read: gravitational).

Home only this late because of a gathering with the efers (pronounced eee-furs, for all you perverse potty-heads out there). Saw School of Rock, which rocked and schooled all! Was massing Naruto and actually winning some! Was eating junk food!

Oh uggh. Speaking of the last one, i seemed to have conveniently forgot my personal oath to forsake all fast-(junk)-foods. They're calorific, horrific and plain malefic (haha no cheap alliterations there). High cholesterol, high saturated fats, high sodium content... I feel like some incineration plant now, what with all the junk being burned away only to leave behind their toxic scars. Only fast foods consciously acceptable: Subway, Zai, bubble teas, yoshinoya.

KFC = Killer, Filler, Crap. Although it IS hard to admit i don't like eating this crap ;)

Oh and Linus: I do not obsess about songs purely due to their falsetto factor.

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*Edit: Noxious fumes are billowing out of my incinerator's subterranean exhausts... Looks like i'll have to go and take an illegal dump at the nearby reservoir (aka toilet).


Stomach churning sickly to... Take Your Mama Out - Scissors Sisters

iaudio Complain to Creative

In the midst of all the Zenist chaos (haha oxymoron) yesterday, i completely forgot a brush with the dark side i experienced on the way home.

There were 2 indian boys in the back row of the bus, and they couldnt be more than sec 3. Their sour and sharp body odour, fugliness and monkey-like screeching fulfilled the stereotype of their race perfectly. Furthermore, they were in the midst of tickling/fighting/acting like the zoo animals they were, in the process irritating the passengers off the narrow precipice of sanity and into the never-ending chasm of frustration.

Of course, i HAD to be sitting in the second last row. This led to me pulling my "i am your irate and vengeful god and you must shut up now or i will stomp on your meagre insignificant lives" face on them, with my eyes glued intently upon the one doing the bullying. They stopped, as would any who've seen that face (eg ernest), but continued cursing me under their breaths, their forked tongues working overtime.

Once i stepped out of the bus, they pasted their oily noses to the back window and were returning the glare ever so politely to me. I did what any other person would do: Mouthed the F-word and wielded my 2 middle fingers as potently as a pair of dual berettas.

Haha felt so contented and empowered after that.

Disclaimer: the author of this blog is NO more rascist than any of you niggins out there, and loves all things BLACK, especially the music.

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My correspondence with the incompetent Creative customer service has grounded to a halt, compounded by their repetition of simple computer-generated instructions and my sister's abysmally crappy comp which refuses to send any of the emails and scanned JPEGs. Eventually got it sent (in the sweltering heat of the family room), and decided to go and help my maid bathe Nubi to relieve some stress and allay some of the guilt in not bathing him at all this year.

Nubi was of course pwningly adorable. He definitely couldn't tahan the weather in that dense fur coat of his, and was intermittenly snuggling up to my leg and lying down over the drain as the cool water splashed over him. Of course, the former got me all soaked! Even post-bath, my hands carry the olfactory sensation of his sulphur-shampoo...

Even if my Zen is taken off his life support and irreversibly mutilated, i wont really mind, as this new baby has stolen my heart:


I(audio) give you... Pleasure.
Constant orgasm for 35 hours!

FYI: The title of this entry contains a pun on iaudio = i ought to. Just a little extra for all the lower-level humour afficionados out there...

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Drooling away to... Bridging the Gap - Nas

Goodbye to You...

My technological best friend, my cherished cyber compatriot, my beloved byte-sized brother... My Zen Touch, DIED at 3:30 pm today.

I was rushing to the SRP lecture and was in the cab (meaning not bouncing around and jiggling it in my pocket), when:

After playing finish one track, my Zen Touch suddenly stopped playing anything. I went to reset the 'random play all' function and the player moved to the 'Now Playing' Screen. However, the queued track did not play and the Zen Touch hung. I then resetted it whereby it immediately booted up to the system restore screen (i did not access this). I selected disk cleanup whereby nothing happened. Reformatting the hard disk and changing the OS resulted in the message 'harddisk problem' appearing. Rebooting only resulted in the system restore screen re-emerging.
I need help with this as my Zen Touch absolutely refuses to work. When connected to the PC with mediasource on, my computer detects the new hardware but then a window will pop up in mediasource saying "Player is not connected".

That was what i sent in to the Creative people, who i'm sure won't do any shit for me... Sigh i love my Zen Touch!! Don't want to lose him... I mean, he may hang up on me while im listening intently to his musical voice, but hes worth it!

Karma has to have it that i can't find the receipt for validation of the warranty. Woe is me.

*cries*


Not listening to any music to... Take Off Your Cool - Andre 3000 ft Norah Jones

The Science of OLJ

Late last night, Nick and i discovered a suspiciously transparent liquid that innocently appeared to have the facade of a 'rice vinegar' bottle. Upon first whiff, we immediately recognised it as the extra ingredient my grandmother sneaks into her shampoo, resulting in a pungent and sour odour that packs a punch to one's nose, literally.

Dubbing it 'OLJ' or 'Old Lady Juice', we went and performed a series of experiments involving it and ancient hair gels reminiscent of a golden (coloured) age... for my 27 year old brother O.o

Upon mixing the two potent and putrid reagents, a jelly-like white precipate formed between the layers in contact. Of course, we kept one gel container as the control while bombarding the others with common toiletries such as baby powder, toothpaste and Benedictine D.O.M (hey can't help it if my occasionally reticent grandma likes to gargle some alcoholic drink before she sleeps o...O)

Worst of all, the torrid stench that comes with dangerous unsupervised experiments such as these stays around forever. A menacing cloud of the stench is now plaguing my toilet, and its impossible to piss while holding your breath (try it!).

Both of us eventually resolved to replace all our verbal and typed "omg"s with "olj"s as a form of exclaimation. So don't be alarmed when octogenarian liquids are mentioned mid-convo out of the blue, its just us being lame literal scientists O.o!

Riiiiite.

Not that any of you really care, but I can't eat any commestibles once again. Anything that requires my tongue to move (including all forms of swallowing and spitting) will cause the swollen and white ulcer to brush against my teeth. I solemnly swear i heard my tongue declaring that it would bring me more pain than my teeth... Well, that seems to be the case now... ARRGHH the anguish!

Maybe the magical healing properties of the OLJ can be put to good use on my poor, abused tongue (hey my perfectly healthy grandmother has been using it since the age of the dinosaurs, and it has no adverse effects save for the malodorous smell)... Hmmm. Sounds like a worthy SRP project.



Smelling smelly smells to... You Had Me - Joss Stone

Ego Yokes, High Cholesterol

How nostalgic! Not really feeling in the mood to blog today after i stupidly took a bloodied bite out of myself... Fret not, its nothing life-threatening and i know you wouldn't want me to stop blogging (right??). My insolent tongue just needed some punishment, you see, so under the guise of giving it a sweet apple to savour, i chomped down on its illicit activities.
OOOOW. Was the first time in a... uh week that i spat out blood from my mouth...

These were the previous Yoke of the Days from the humble beginnings of my blog along with me trying to remember how that yoke came to be in existence before the chicken. Enjoy!

• Why is a missile acidic? Cos it neutralises enemy bases (an intro to congren's world of lameness)
  
• Pontius Pilate at 10 o'clock (MadTV's ownage terminator/jesus spoof)
  
• The strongest chain is defined by its weakest link (cool phrase i invented during either PE or vball training)
  
• When you're the butt of all jokes, turn the other cheek (haha another phrase i invented quite awhile ago... very applicable to life, which is a big f***ing joke)
  
• There's a lot of fish in the sea just shakin they jelly (the era of the shandal, lotsa girls out there for everyone!)
  
• Oops, I'm sorry, I mistook you for a good neighbour (idiotic neighbour who was scolding me for letting Nubi cause undue excitement in his ugly dog)
  
• Biology grows on you (haha after i re-experienced the intense exhiliration associated with all sciences O.o)
  
• Nair Nair Fire (punchline for a lame joke: How did the fire department get the number '995'? One night when Devan Nair was sleeping in his room with his wife when she smelt smoke and awoke, immediately shouting 'nair nair fire!')
  
• Spray and Pray (CS lingo for noobs who do not shoot the rifles and SMGs in burst fire, but rather hold down to the left mouse button and hence have bullets flying all over e.e)
  
• Beauty is only skin deep. However, men are even shallower (i was in the bus, when i saw this pock Mark Lee, except it was this fellow RJCian girl. I then started thinking of some funny comment to say about this like "dont bottle up stress, it just bubbles to the surface as acne". I realised my absoluted barbarism and inconsideration, and came up with a much better phrase instead ;P)
  
• Tequila Mockingbird. A fabulous literary drink. (some stupid pun jeremy mentioned. Its our secondary 1 lit text btw, "To Kill A Mockingbird")
  
• You hate it when you're forced to do it, unless you're forced to like it, to which you'll hate it more. (aay can't help it if im convoluted and random. Was trying to say something to jeremy once again about anything stupid education boards dump into syllabus)
  
• its matters not what matter matters, but what matters matter (haha another twisted and depraved play on the english language. One day, its going to come back and give me some balaku for toying with it like that lor...)
  
• Sappy Chinese New Year! (HCNY! Of course, CNY with its mechanical roosters parading naked around china town and tacky mcdonalds ang pows completely ruined the mood)
  
• I think we're both cations, cause i find you repulsive (was feeling lame during chem lecture on atomic structure O.o. Please don't beat me up.)
  
• Cliche the end is near, cliche the end is near (A string of themes leading up to the release of the O level results. As usual, nothing for me to worry about. I was more concerned with my loyal readers and hence tried to emphatise and such with them...)
  
• I'm a survivor, I'm not gon give up, I'm not gon stop.
• The 19th Level of Hell: GCE Ordinary

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Uggh in the end this entry was more time-consuming than writing a normal, beating around the bush, embellished and impacted with grandoise vocabulary blog entry. Not to mention the long-windedness. And the cliched use of any alliteration available. And the seemingly never-ending articles. And the... Ok, you get my drift.

John Lennon has his Yoko Ono, I have my Yoke-o, Day-old.



Teething my tongue to... Baby i'm Back - Baby Bash ft Akon

Reguritating and Ruminating the Day

The first day of school adds still one more to the many mundane and mediocre days getting chalked up in my life. Lectures were boring and simplistically barbaric and crude, what with physics lecturer the Elucidator ("I'll be Back") to the chem lecherer with his 'klo-ide' ions coursing through his body only to provide him with enough energy for his incessant barking. The only spice in my life was the absolute forgetfulness that resulted in me being bereft of a handphone the entire day. Twas an eye-opening experience: feeling naked and jittery yet peaceful and serene.

During PE, I felt as if a heavy burden had been removed from me, especially since i spent almost half the lesson stuck in the toilet (not physically), dumping out today and Sunday's fair share of foul excrement (Church and stuff ALWAYS disrupts my normal shitting schedule).

With the big hoohah and undue excitement concerning the posting of the JC allocation results tomorrow, Vball was unfairly cancelled. What's worst, me, jen and haoyi went to s-11 hawker centre for the bestest ban mian in the world. Feeling so fat and guilty now without the natural high vball (and not the sugar-laden bubble tea or the MSG-compounded BM) gives... Spent another hour with jen discussing the philosophies and social behaviour patterns of Rafflesians, Singaporeans and people as a whole (read: bitching and gossiping).

Walked all the way home followed by the walking of Nubi around the estate. This time, Nubi's coruscating coat stole the attention of many, and he even managed to make a new husky friend (or enemy) in Cyber/Siber. I guess Nubi can't help it if he thinks his new adversary's name is suber lame and uncreative.

There was also this ferocious and mondo mad mutt that kept growling and snarling at us through the wire-thin gates of its decrepit and devastated wreck of a shack along 2 Dunsfold Drive. I swear that house is haunted or smtg lor... With its run down windows, that monster of a dog, the dust-covered furniture and the antiquated scooter in the driveway. The memory of Nubi being bitten on the nose by that mutt still lingers freshly in my mind.

Anyway, for all you people out there reading simply to catch a glimpse of me putting myself down in all humility and self-degradation, you're not getting it this time! I shall share with you a very honed and exclusive lifelong skill that i've had in my and mine only possession. It involves reliving absolute pleasure through the pure oratory mastery of... REGURGITATION!

By dictionary definitions, to regurgitate is 'to cause to pour back, especially to cast up (partially digested food).' Its a damn sexy and useful tool (though some may differ) which tends to be set on 'Autocast' most of the time (though i can voluntarily do it sometimes). Mostly after meals, i will spontaneously hiccup up the earlier fed-on food without any trace of pain or apparent threat to health. This food can then be re-masticated and re-enjoyed in all its blender-esque glory.

Of course, regurgitating isn't just an avenue for relishment, but one of offensive prowess as well. The breath that wafts along with the regurgitation is reminiscent of flavoured goodness (from ban mian to nutella sandwiches), and though i am immune to this, others find this particularly distasteful and gross, a point that can be used to my advantage if necessary ;p. Also, the particles that make their treasured appearance in my mouth are also handy projectiles which, when dried, are rather accurate sludge bullets. I wield a reliable sniper in the form of my tongue with my eyes as the scope siah!

However, a skill so powerful and potent as this has to have its downsides. This applies to whenever i have eaten pill-based medication or if i regurgitate overly-digested consummables. The pills are bombastically bitter while the acidic and sour-tasting consummables burn my tongue and form this weird layer over my teeth (as when after one drinks Coke).

Hmm. Maybe this IS some ability worthy of self-derogation...



Ruminating my thoughts and other stuff to... Can You Control Your Hoe? - Snoop Dogg

Win-Lose Situation

Some chagrin-causing blister i got during the badminton spree is oozing pus... Furthermore, i tried to peel it during its moist, soggy stages (which spells intense and excruciating agony for all you sports illiterates). Its located along the outer radii of my right palm, where one generally holds a pen. Or a toothbrush. Or does half the shit they do with hands. Arrgh.

Of course, the spastic incident which aggravated the megalithic pre-callous was the incessant 'mashing' while playing Narultimate Hero 2. Sigh, literally pain for pleasure here.

Speaking about blisters, another has mysteriously sprouted on my right foot. Some gremlin must have slipped a super-glued one into my borrowed soccer shoes such that after i wore it, they stuck fast to my innocent, beauteous appendages. Wail-worthy warts wrecking winded weaklings. Oh ya. Played field soccer today. Uneventful. Losing. Lost. Riiiight...

Sometimes, one's outwardly faults are sooo bloody apparent that even without outside prompting, one can identify it for themselves. In this instance (one out of many, many), i'm referring to my compulsive desire and obsession to WIN. My god sometimes i'm so dusgusting and sick.

For example, in order to win, i will generally sacrifice any physical comfort in doing so and just absorb more and more punishment aka intolerable losses. Basically, its a by hook or by crook strategy. Insulting and jeering also frequent as guest stars on the show of 'Dwayne's Pwnage'.

If i'm on the verge of losing (ie narultimate hero e.e), i will attribute all errors to inane external acts of god and uncontrollable conditions such as blisters... If I do lose, i will be a sore loser and incessantly demand rematches. This sense of competition extends to almost all mental games inclusive of the fields of both chesses and card games.

Of course, compared to my pre-God days, my fanatism with being the temporal winner at such trivial games have diminished... Somewhat.

Anyway, i've had a packed extended holiday thanks to my teeth, friends, family, dog and gadgets. I thank God for all my material possessions (hmm... that sounds quite contradictory in some philo-religious conflict way type of way...)

The dam floodgates of the academic year are threatening to once again burst open, releasing incalculable loads of stress. The prodigious amount of work and CCA will convert the placid and tranquil stream into gushing rapids. Survival in this harsh impending environment is dependent all on one's personal ability to float on. Mutual help and cooperation is what we need to get through the rigorous and gruelling task that is term 2.



Regretting the shortness of the hols to... Hands - Jewel

People

(In the cesspit of life they amass)

Those who take and take and take and give;
Those that sacrifice without gain.

Those who trundle along vitality's path unaided;
Those that insist on going their own way.

Those whom responsibility evaded
and evade responsibility themselves.

Those who hide and seek with a facade;
Those with pride and meek at heart .

Those who bask in glorious luminescence;
Those that blend in other's shadows.

Those whom others label retard
when actually the wisest of us all

Those whose souls are blessed with dimples;
Those whose souls are cursed with pimples.

Those who accept others for what they are;
Those that bemoan the state of people.

Existentialism expect all fields be filled.
Who dominates you? Who dates you? Who denotates you?
The polygon of people is perplexing
Yet decadent in all its diversity.

---

Pondering life away to... Shake That Shit - Shawnna ft Ludacris

Don't Ache, my Head, my Achy Achy Head...

hmmm... a lone mosquito just drifted in front of me and started its slow, peaceful final descent into my lap. I guess they're dying even without my interference now O.o They must be unable to tolerate my immense aura of greatness (as i know most of you are).

Anyways, badminton still rocks! Played for a consecutive 3 hours today at the ENV court with ernest, to which he axiomatically thrashed me with his sneaky drops and his cheap smashes. Of course, there were occasional moments where i took off the weights and owned back with volleys of speedy returns. I failed to win any of the matches i had against him, the stupid bugger... Aiyah must give it to him lah: you're pro 'nuff.

After that, we (me, pa, sis) went over to Suki Sushi at cineleisure and promptly decided on the sushi buffet there. It included the red plate equivalent for other sushi bars inside the buffet! Except it was some cowardly yellow colour. We gorged ourselves to the maximum, with 11 yellows and about 18 coloured (amounting to $85). So proud that we saved $25!! WOOHOO!! (sigh, singaporean ethics again)

My absent-minded self forgot to use the $200 i inherited from my father for the day for its actual purpose: to buy thge RJ uniform from Biba at Lido. Spent a lump sum on new clothes instead :). Got 3 new tees 1 size smaller (M), since i realised all my over-large XXL shirts must have been contributing someone to my apparent gauntness (aay im sure sickly people won't type such animated blogs).

By this time, an extraordinary headache laid seige to my poor, throbbing noggin. Fell asleep on the bus-ride back from Toa Payoh MRT to my house, and that's like some shitty 6 stops. Plopped on my bed at home and slept a dreamless yet restless 2.5 hour slumber. Now, remnants of the headache still remain, spread out like thin butter over my delectable durian of a head (oh ya because i spiked my somewhat long hair for fun earlier)...

Good news is that Nubi's coat is back to its gleaming, sparkling self. So fur-fect siah.

---

Heavily stressed out
Evidently enough to pout
Anguished, overwhelmed
Devastating at the helm
Antagonising cranial defect
Cause and effect
Haha I bet it's just cause I had
Eaten too much sushi.


Its becoming even worse with the stupid KMA advertisement and its hot, sexy bodies. So damn irritating and gross with its hot, sexy body. Arrgh I want to go and kill it, with my hot, sexy body. In case you haven't heard it and are a hot, sexy body willing to subject yourself to the torture, its on the hot, sexy bodied 98.7 fm. *cringe*


Gyrating my hot, sexy body to... Obsession - Frankie J ft Baby Bash

Mugga-ttempts

I think I actually mugged bio today (cos I can't remember shit)... So so so amazed considering i swore never to touch anything academic-related. Read the voluminous notes over 2 hours scattered throughout the day no thanks to the many peripheral (not proteins) distractions appearing magically.

I was actually kinda forced to do the bio mugging because i wanted to listen to music (to which there's no other electronic medium compatible except gameboy [passe pls]). Freecell to murder time was also not applicable as i had reached 31 wins with 0 losses, and was too scared to continue playing for fear of ruining the perfect stats. As was with Murphy and his stupid Law, i lost the round i played immediately after and lost all zest for the game, deleted my statistics and withdrew back into my mugger hydration shell.

Of course there could have been peer (not turgor) pressure contributing some small bit to this mugging-spree.

UGGGGH STOP IT PLEASE!

All the aforementioned data subconsciously flowing back into my mind.

As expected, more things went wrong through the course of the day as the air-con repairmen were supposed to come at 1pm and i hence turned it off to let it cool (haha pun.). The incompetent simpletons with reeking BO leisurely strolled in at 4:30 om, claiming to be punctual. Singaporean ethics suck.

The invasion of my room and the dominance over my aircon by these ogres (including their stench) displaced me and i decided to bring the very lonely-looking Nubi out on a walk. He, having been locked in the back the whole day because of the stupid air-headed conners and their false promises, welcomed it with open front paws and promptly trodded on my feet on the way out.

We were walking (correction: i was walking, he was trotting in some happy prance-like way) outside some ulu abandoned house when i spotted a black and white rabbit peacefully huddled in the middle of it's garden. I then tied Nubi to some cable box and made short work of the locked gate. Climbing it was easy because there were these ladder-like steps within the gate itself, the only problem being the top of the gate where some intricate curly metal ornament made its perch.

As soon as i landed, the rabbit bolted off, as did Nubi, who wriggled his way out of his cable box tether. Panicked, i sped up the gate and jumped off from the top, when RRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP. My ultra baggy (think rappers) shirt got caught on the stupid decoration and i was hanging there like a coat on a rack, literally. It was as if some giant had grabbed me and hung me to some small hook that i was only capable of squirming on. Nubi of course saw this with a tilted curious dog face, and in all manners of cuteness, continued sniffing some poor Indian maid's ass.

I eventually made my way down, abrasions all over my back and butt (though i tend to exaggerate my numerous minor injuries). Pffft to wild goose chases, it should be wild rabbit chases that one be worried about.

What's worst, i wore my maid's tacky and tattered slippers and got the mother of all blisters... Then there's badminton tmr with ernest somemore (note: i spell my dog's name with a capital letter proper and my friend's with...)

Rubbing my sore ass to... Don't Tell Me - Madonna

Recap-sulated

In a nutshell, or rather, pill-capsule-casing, daily periphery does NOT make for good blog entries most of the time. Its just whenever they're interspersed with comedy or philosophical life lessons that recapping some loser's life in a blog entry becomse interesting or applicable to the reader (YOU!). Of course, the other way is to mention the readers' names and events, especially since most blog literates are most probably bored, kaypo or just plain stalkerish. So here goes: ben, nick, shan, ka, benj, jo, kass, ash and all you unspecified 'etcs' (hey it could be you!).

I was discussing with jeremy the characteristics of a blog: style of writing, context, popularity, evoked feelings, content. And i guessed that i rule out any of those above reasons as to why this blog is *somewhat* well-spanked (high number of hits, fyi). Maybe i evoke sympathy in people for me? Nobody ever thinks their own life is interesting (including me) unless you're like, Britney or smtg fabulous.

*SMACK* and there goes mosquito number 6 for the night. 3 were caked with blood, and its definitely not mine O.o...

Anyway, life's been as cr(e)ammed as corn and packed as sardines. Woke at 7:30 am today for some random waste-time SRP (Science Research Programme) briefing. OMG. I understand virtually nil for the other JC2 projects which included 'squid pens and their effect on calcium carbonate condensate' or some random shit. Was actually pretty cool lol, but i doubt my own project would be soooo detailed and focused. I want to solve world problems like energy, waste disposal (stupid lack of dustbins at MRTS) and my personal favourite idea: Genome in a Bottle (go figure).

Combed Nubi a total of 7 brushes worth upon reaching home. Collected enough fur to make a veritable Husky pelt pillow, which i did with a Guardian plastic bag. Of course, the lingering aroma spewing out when you try to deflate it is positively fantabulous. Like purely concentrated Essence of Dog.

I am very amused by the fact that i have went to the toilet in attempt to egest excrement a record-breaking 8 times in the past 3 days... All because i missed my morning dump on sunday because of church. Oh and maybe the soluble fibre drink i restarted taking...

Finally, the night ended off with In Good Company, a pwning movie with a good but not nice ending. Each and every character was also so rootable. Met shih haur and his slut outside the theatre and apparently, they had watched the same movie too... Had Subway with the movie, of course. Life is good. Lido. Rocks. All.

Note to self: I think blogging makes me less dominant in online conversations O.o Most likely because i feel that i've already spent all my creative juices coming up with topics and such. Its a semi-good thing (read: you all take the initiative to talk to me NOW).

Scratching my eyes to... Anatomy 1on1 - Mya

Heffalump of Shit

" The hunk of hot flesh lay writhing steamily on his bed. His bed covers lay as messed up as the thin layer of yellow hair that blanketed his well-rounded body. His lascivious dreams were centered on the luscious taste of an all-too-pleasant fluid: the sickly sweet nectar of a fellow woodland being. Moans of increasing intensity emanated from his spread-eagled body, wafting out of his open bedroom window. In kind, he heard a wildly erotic auditory sensation that aroused him from his state of semi-consciousness... "

Such was the start of Pooh's Heffalump Movie.

It was soooo damn stupid! I mean, i gave it an undeserved 1.5 stars out of a possible 5 - 1 from the effort of making the movie and half from the cuteness of Roo. Other than that, it was crap from front to back.

Ah well, can't really blame the movie for sucking, but can only point fingers at the people who chose the movie: Me, Nick and Ben. There was absolutely no other movie that we all haven't seen, and it was an experiment for the kicks of it O.o

Counted around 8 such scenes of morally wrong graphics ranging from Roo's stripping to Piglet's arm-wrapping around Pooh's thighs... Of course, to spice up the extremely mediocre movie up, we also took turns to falsetto shriek in mock excitement whenever something 'scary' occurred or to offer a blatant "eeeeee" whenever dirty scenes cropped up.
As expected, we received a LOT of stares from parents concerned that their children would be scarred (not by the movie, but by us). Thankfully, there were these secondary school girls sitting behind us who seemed to appreciate our timely comic intervention O.o

Sigh. Leave it to us teens with our raging hormones to go and utterly disrupt what is a G-rated movie. 'G' for gay, as Nick so subtly put. Apparently, its not just me ALP thinks so too... And with a movie poster such as this, who won't?


I'm more gay than teletubbies!

In other good news, got into SRP. But then sianz, must go at 815 tmr morning all the way to 330 or so pm... I say, in the words of Shikamaru: "Geez, that's so troublesome."

Tapping my fingers to... Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch

Mugger Fuckers...

I supremely loathe/detest/despise/abhor people with absolutely warped definitions of a mugger. As usual, I have once again been christened the title of "mugger" amongst many ignorant and hypocritical people. What's wrong with excelling (in your definitions, not mine) with the least possible amount of work? What's wrong with saving the best for last and facing the music as early as possible (read: finishing homework in school)?

These are my characteristics and approach to academic studies. Finish up everything as fast as possible for delayed , guilt-free gratification. I also believe in learning and memorising only when and what is necessary. Hence, my personal definition of 'mugging' is doing all these things unnecessarily and in excess (things along the line of reading textbooks during the meant-to-relax-holidays... WHY???).

How did mugging's definition from 'intensive cramming' change to mean 'doing your fair and minimal quota of work' in the average student?

Of course it could just be these the jealousy and green-faced monsters within these people awakening. I guess I'd feel threatened if i saw someone hard at work in school, busy scribbling notes in the library during free periods (excess, though). I do the same: Finishing homework that ranges from tutorials to labs way ahead of time during the lessons and lectures themselves (hey it's called good time management especially if one can multi-task). I'm sure the envy in these people who only WISH they could have the same will-power and determination try to bring me down and stop me from enjoying life later on at home. So frustrating to have every success and academic accolade attributed to mundane 'mugging', and not God's given talent and grace.

I don't have homework over these March holidays and have not touched a single piece of academic parchment (unless Naruto and blogging and freecell count as schoolwork) at all. The same thing applies to my carefree weekends all the way from slackondary school and whenever i contradict some sorry arsehole's comment on the stresses of JC homework...

Ah well. Blame my sense of competition as well. I can't bear to lose at almost anything I'm supposed to be good or at least mentionable in. My kiasu singaporean attitude manifests itself in the fast finish of work. Also, to those who go and borrow it from me for 'referral', DON'T COMPLAIN!

By the way, there's a difference between superiority complex and sense of accomplishment O.o.

---

Cycled all the way to Serene Centre for lunch and to meet Jen, and back with major detours to get bubble tea. Feeling clean and content now, with the jubilant Chocolate Milk Tea and the Black Canyon Coffee's chicken steak hor fun in the playground that is my stomach, prancing in perfect synchrony and harmony.

Fuming over the unfairness to... Crybaby - Mariah Carey ft Snoop Dogg

Mood: A-Musical

Music is and has been an integral part of my growing years. From the emergence of bubble gum pop and the excessive influx of boybands, to the ruminating rock craze followed closely by the flooding of the market with punk rock and hip hop.

For example, i have 1200 songs in my Zen Touch and counting (since oct 2004 only siah), and i am proud to proclaim that i know EACH AND EVERY ONE of these songs. I find it very disgusting when people cram their MP3 players with entire downloaded albums and all sorts of crap songs they dont know and won't appreciate. Every album i collect , i insist on listening to for one intensive week, liking and at least knowing every song and enjoying (or hating) it to its maximum capacitance.

Also, my preferred form of music is hip hop, with RnB coming in a close second, and pop (personally defined as anything on the radio) coming in third. Of course, my mainstream-ness has garnered many criticisms from shallow hals who enjoy punk rock and the (dis)likes of assinine 'music' :P (disclaimer: doesn't apply to all who said my music sucks, btw). Rap music is NOT crap music. There are other genres that i like, but also those i particulary detest (read: punk, techno, jazz, trance) although i'll admit they DO occasionally spawn a nice track.

BEP and Missy Elliott paved the way for my Hip Hopsession. This further evolved to include artistes such as Snoop Dogg and Kanye, with producers the Neptunes and Lil Jon. This all stems from my irresistable cravings for songs with strong beats and bass ever since my humble beginnings during the bubble-pop era (check out Dream's "She Loves You Not"). I hope this genre will stay forever etched in my life, as i have learned to love and enjoy the rappers and artistes themselves, their lyrics, styles and idiosyncracies.

I believe that mainstream radio is the variety show for a plethora musicks. If artistes think that their song is the best of their work and genre, most listener-friendly, most likeable, most likely to rake in the requests and propel the figures in their bank accounts, the higher the chance is that they release it as a single. This logic in itself forms the basis for my liking of radio hits. From The Killers' alternative indie/rock thing "Mr Brightside" to the vastly differing Hip Pop Missy Elliott's "Work It", radio offers its best to the listeners.

Singles are like the tip of the iceberg, enticing the listener to researh further and to purchase the available CD/LP to discover what lays hidden beneath. Usually, its majestic and admirable. Other times, one must head back to HMV fuming about the piece of crap that sunk his Titanic...

Finally, if everyone insists on diverging from the mainstream, doesn't that make mainstream radio a class an taste of its own?

---

Pardon the emo (not music style, silly) and philo, am making like an exhaust and venting...

In lighter news, brought Nubi to the vet where he got his cocktail of jabs and a clean bill of health, albeit the exponentially increasing rate of hairloss... Also went and plotted some straight-line graph of "time in seconds" (y-axis) against "1/bloody long" in "1/s" to calculate the exact time and the constant required when waiting for the bus to arrive (x was the number of buses available to take at that particular stop O.o). For all the other crazies out there, teh gradient should be negative and in some sort of curve without intersects.

Went to the gym today siah! All pumped up and good to go liaos... Did 4 reps of 10 hamstring thingies at 40kg, 10 quad curls at 70kg, countless lifts and weighted 'chest expanders' (not boob jobs, btw).

Amazed at remembering... Never Let You Go - 3 Doors Down

Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned...

I have committed the felony of disobeying the 5th Commandment... Multiple times somemore. I just killed a whopping shitload of various insect(ivores) terrorising my room. It's alright in self-defense, right? RIGHT??? *awaits the lightning from the heavens*

(Fifth Commandment is "Thou Shalt Not Kill", fyi.)

Uggh feel damn uneasy now. Recently came back from Robots, which was the ultimate in randomness (oh and Fanny rox lol!), when i spotted a monster of a lizard perched under the fluorescent light. It was like, OMFG! There have NEVER been lizards in this room before... Now it's hallowed halls are defiled by their hideous sticky pads . UGGH. As usual, I grabbed my sister's patented aircon-assistant (its just a red basha pole), and started prodding at the lizard.

After 10 gruelling minutes of strategic warfare, it practically flew off the trophy cabinet and landed behind my mini whiteboard (nooo! desecrated liaos). To which i started jabbing the board with much ferocity in an attempt to quash its dreams and squash till it screams. Soon, the limp carcass dropped to thew floor like a bag of what a bag of squishy disgusting lizard entrails would contain. Its amputated tail was wagging as if to welcome the impending squish from the toilet-paper-wrapped hand. Eventually, it was consigned to its watery grave, and hydro-cremated with the push of the flush...

Ironically, I killed 5 mosquitoes in the following 5 minutes. I guess the lizard was there for a reason. Shit. I guess i have to do all i can to fill out the lizard's niche: eating... um killing mosquitoes and stuff. Also, it appears the bugs only spring up whenever the aircon is off... I'm sensing a good excuse to keep it on 24-7 ;)

Now that i have blood, albeit disgusting mosquito one, on my hands, I'm sure to have a sleepness night ahead what with my over-imagination and all. Furthermore, with the hein/ideous amphibians and their campaign to conquer (hey i caught and interrogated rather unsuccessfully one of their advanced scouts), i'll be up all night drawing up the counter-strike. They could be lurking in any nook and cranny... ready to pounce, spread-eagled... No one can ever be too careful with lizards.

Currently at 15 straight wins for Freecell, trying to aim to beat my old record of 27 :P Quite the imposs, i tell you. Especially since i've had to like, reset the scores 5 times alone yesterday...

Freaking out to... Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

Dog Eat Dog

Imma Eat You!
(Note: This is the only pic of him i got so far, so bear, uh, i mean dog with it)


Nubi surprised me on many, many counts today... Was walking him around the estate as usual (meaning i release his leash and let him trot a few steps in front or behind me), when he actually PEE'D! I was like, OMFG. And not because he urinated on the leash.

This is the first ever time Nubi has spreaded his skank outside the house. The last time, which so does not count, involved him whining and squirming and eventually diarrhoea-ing on some grass patch. I'm sure he couldn't wait till we went home O.o

This time, however, he did so ON HIS OWN ACCORD! I didn't even have to shout 'relieve yourself' at all. In case you're wondering, its this command i tried to teach him, whereby I would shout "relieve yourself!" everytime he was defiling the landscape so that the phrase would be ingrained and associated with the heinous deed. Supposedely, whenever i shouted that at other times, he would automatically relieve himself of excess baggage (hey it wasn't my failing idea... Some stupid pet guide).

Anyway, Nubi's first time was sure to attract some attention. A mangy, spotted-as-though-diseased, emaciated sorry excuse for a canine approached, tail-wagging. This sneaky bitch raised my suspicions as it inched closer and closer to Nubi, but i eventually let my guard down as it got closer under the facade of friendliness.

"GGGRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLLL!", with teeth baring (i know you have them lah, stupid dog, trying to make me jealous issit?). As usual, Nubi bo chuply continued sniffing the grass whilst i got the shock of my life. I immediately grabbed this oversized branch and swung it in the scrawny aggressor's face. To which it barked very audibly and continued snarling.

I backed away, all the while keeping my eyes on the dog. Nubi continued to carefreely inhale some excrement, most probably having enough self-confidence to stand up to bullies (read: Max).

I wish i could be more like Nubi. Cuter (heh jk), more practical, higher self-esteem, whimsical and free... Ok, definitely NOT hairier though.

---

Got a whopping 23.5/30 for Chem test. Wow. What a great way to start the holidays (hmm... sarcasm doesn't work very well in text, does it?)

---

Musing to the music of... On the Way Down - Ryan Cabrera

Held at Gum-point

The stitches on my bottom wisdom stub is unravelling by itself... Definitely not a good sign. Its amusing to tongue though...

Also, ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHH!! Its so bloody irritating to be hungry and otherwise healthy, but then not being able to eat ANYTHING of importance that can and will satisfy my ravenous stomach. Everyone knows how fast liquids make you full, and also how short it takes for you to be hungry again after all the piss comes out in the ensuing one-too-many toilet trips. So, in an effort to curb some food-lust, i made an earlier mentioned nutella on banana walnut bread sandwich (my last breakfast).

BIG MISTAKE! I could only eat it on my right side, and hence the chewing and spreading around of taste in my mouth was minimal. This made it feel like i was eating rock-solid, tasteless porridge (which was kinda what i had for lunch, anyway). Uggh felt so sick after that as the bread went down in large chunks.

Furthermore, I can't walk Nubi in all my buccal complications either... He was so energetically bounding up and down the slopes, way beyond my capacity to control him without stepping heavily on the ground and letting the turbulent shockwaves travel up to my tooth voids. This, of course, inevitably results in bleeding. Though not as heavy as before, the hypochondriac in me made me stop the walk just 20 meters outside the house.

In other escapades from sianness, i went to rockonthenet.com, and was busily reading some celebrities' profiles, when i stumbled upon some new feature in their Singles Discography: they listed ALL the chart positions any song had occupied. Making use of this, i went and checked for songs around the time i remembered liking music on the radio. Lo and behold, I ended up downloading another 38 songs! And that's just from sourcing Britney Spears' singles...

Utt from MTV surprised me with some unexpected depth and sophistication. Or maybe its just his scriptwriter. Go check the Yoke of the Day for it O.o

Finally, after spending the better part of 2 days in my room, it dawned upon me that my air-con is so bloody cold that my skin gets exfoliated and dry as if i were in some temperate country. Bye bye pimples!

Freezing my ass off to... Yellow - Coldplay

It Pains Me to Tell You This...

...if i were speaking to you vocally.
Well, i was under absolutely severe, excruciating and agonising pain last night after i awoke from my nap and the painkillers wore off. I couldn't swallow properly as the moving of my tongue would go and disturb my wisdom stubs and make them bleed more. Even got scolded for clearing my bloodied phlegm into the pond E.e.

Distressingly went to sleep that night after gulping down some soup and watermelon shakes (and yeech, they do NOT taste good with blood...), couldn't even eat the porridge my grandmother cooked up. No conspiracy there! I swear! Blood kept accumulating at the back of my mouth, none of which i could swallow because it hurt and none of which i could spit cause the spitting motion ached too.

The sleep was peculiarly deep. For the first time in many, many months, I slept face up, without the aid of any bolster or mini-Mogu pillow. Unfortunately, this did not curb the drooling, and my silk quilt looked as if a foot-long mosquito after a satisfying meal was killed on it. Musta been the unable-to-swallow-ness. Anyway, my maid is cleaning it now... THANK YOU! As my father said as i was spitting into the pond, "you shouldn't let other people touch your blood".

Ensure rocks! but then it gives me some weird headache... Must be too milky of something. I'm stuck drinking comatose-people's drinks e.e

Attempting to mouth... (I Got That) Boom Boom - Britney Spears

I've Become so Numb...

Stayed up to the wee hours of morning (1 am, actually... so its wee in that its very early INTO the morning :P) renaming my numerous wrongly labelled MP3s. I had stupidly forced them to be categorised into song name-artiste-album-song name, so they were all like, uber long to the extent of frustrating and messy. Slept a long and dreamless, peaceful and sound sleep until 9:30 am this morning, when i awoke with a heavy heart surprisingly fraught with excitement.

Enjoyed my Last Breakfast: Nutella spread on banana walnut bread, with steaming hot Milo on the side. Scanned through the channels whereby a documentary on insects, a MTV countdown and the current news failed to catch my interest whatsoever. I guessed any form of dalliance would do naught in postponing my imminent and inevitable operation - The removal of my wisdom teeth.

A short nap did nothing but seemingly speed time up. Soon, my father was home and i had to scurry into his whirring and waiting car, ready to embark on my final car ride with every part of me intact (dropping hairs along the way DOES NOT count, btw). Went for a Subway lunch (as expected), and i had the ever-so-delicious and sumptuous tuna and chicken breast w/ bacon Subs. Apocalypse was approaching. Doom was descending. This did not help at all in stimulating my appetite... At least i finally got my father to eat at subway. Kinda like my final wish liddat.

The operation began (not so) promptly at 2:30pm. Delayed after the dentist and my father were debating on whether the removal was absolutely necessary. This, of course, did nothing to quell the rising fear and bile in my stomach. As usual, the dentist had his say, and the teeth were to be deported from my mouth to the land of the metal plate.

Prof Dan Tiss (hey i didn't catch his name, although he was apparently my neighbour for quite a while) was rather random, trying to calm me down by bullshitting some weirdly and seemingly rehearsed script to lighten the pain and take my mind off the entire process. While violently jamming my tooth into its base,

Dentist: "Come on, let's go home and eat"
Daughter: "But i want to eat mcdonalds!"
Dentist: "mcdonalds makes you fat"
Daughter: "are you saying i'm fat?"

I was like, "huurh" as i couldn't even scrounge up a proper 'heh' to his little anecdote. After 15 minutes (a record time for him), the teeth were both amazingly extracted. There was pus. There was blood. There was random subway sandwich bits. There was the continuous bleeding (still going on now). And there were the teeth. Lying on the metal pan, staring back at me in mocking silence.



Viewer discretion is advised. (Oops, guess this shouldn't be below the pic)

Anyway, both of them with a one week's MC cost a whopping $700. God i want to be a dentist. Easy money, can talk all sorts of cock, can impose hurt upon others while appearing benign...

Why do humans have these ingratiating, agony-inducing articles of evolutionary failure? How did others like me in the days of yore tolerate the suffering that comes with wisdom teeth and their extraction?

The GA is wearing off now... The edges of numbness are receding around the epicenter. Soon I will experience the ultimate torture. Soon I will have to bear the physical grief. My first tooth extraction, and it HAD to be my wisdoms... How unfair. At least Nubi is trying to be cute and stuff, to distract me from some of the tinglyness. He sleeps outside my room's door, lying against it as he positively relishes the aircon that comes out from the opening below it O.o


Tonguing my teeth to... Numb - Linkin Park

Yoyo!

I FUCKING DELETED MY EARLIER VERSION OF THIS BLOG ENTRY ... accidentally. So i guess its my fault anyway.

Was fiddling around with my old Pro-Yo Bumble Bee, when i realised i still want to hone and master the tactical skills of the professional yo-yo-ist! I distinctly remember giving up my bright future in yo-yoing because i smashed my uncle's irreplaceable $300 lamp shade with a strategically-placed Around-the-World when i was at the tender age of 11.

Unfortunately, my current yoyo skills are about as rusty as my Bumble Bee's Ball bearings. Furthermore, my Bumble bee possesses the very unadmirable texture of a pubescent Hershey-bar gobbling teenager. With immense amounts of stress. And extremely bad hygiene. Who lives in the long gang. With over-acne. Ok you get the point... Its exactly like some golf ball lor.

Its still so exhilarating and cool! In addition, its something that can be done within the confines of my room (yes, even Around-the-World). The new, or rather revamped, mascot is looking pretty fine. Much better than when he was this fat bee with a promiscuous and unnecessary jet pack, and unsightly pilot goggles.

I'm feeling we all go and restart the craze, NOW!

Oldskool Fugly Bugly

New Age Highness, the top of my wish list!

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Debating whether to pon school tmr, since i have my dental appointment to (finally) remove all aspects of my wisdom. Haha luckily only the left side teeth have to removed, and i can hence save the remaining 2 right side ones for the army, whereby removal grants one week MC immediately, no questions asked. Only 2 solid meals remain! Must cherish them siah. Had ban mee for lunch, with a sumptuous pork rib noodle soup thing for dinner. Only my final Subway remains before i consign myself to the hellish quagmire of icky, stale porridge. UGGH. I think a pure liquid meal would suit me better (read, grandma: watermelon shakes and soup all day).

Anyway, wish me luck. Get me a Bumble Bee for recovery present! Can't fathom the idea of a bloody fever-inducing stub where my tooth once was... How ironic that it doesn't hurt now, nearer the appointment.

Spastically shaking to... Fix Up Look Sharp - Dizzee Rascal

Randomness

Randomness is the ultimate, with no links to Starfall. It is an art, and a funny and cakey one at that. Anyone can be random at anytime, just avoid being like a broken pencil and being out of point. On the topic of physics, random error is just intolerable. One cannot stick to the congruous moot point, and must instead be the toilet bowl flying Mot. To gracefully stay in the game of randomness, one must sporadically change the topic to something not even or remotely related to the Indian oils. Furthermore, it is extremely solid to attempt to create randomness out of nothing. In other words, it doesn't matter.

"F to the izzu, G to the izzlay"

My life of solid food is coming to a close. The world should be kept in a box. Volleyball ended at the unearthly time of 8pm, to which the forces of darkness Venus and Serena Williams swept away the titles. I stupidly gave up some council position for my failed Outlook attempt. Look out for the name of a star, Octerius.

Owners have the onus of owning flats thanks to parliament now. Finally, last but not least, I conclude that we have finalised the end of the end. Mondo Michael Jackson O.o Hyper-sian is confirm the best feeling in the world. And it so isn't love.

Listening intently to... The Kids Aren't Alright - The Offsping

Satur(ate)day

Today was by far one of the most packed days this year! I mean, for a slack Saturday, it turned out to be brimming with all sorts of paraphernalia and miscellaneous activities... To all, I present my new one-day biography:

A Series of Uneventful Misfortunes

Chapter 1: Dent in the Droll Dental Date:
Awoke at the unearthly weekend hour of 7:00 AM today for the aforementioned dental appointment to remove my wisdoom (no typo there) teeeth (ok oops).

Drove all the way, in a borrowed car no less, to NUH and sat around like an obedient little puppy while waiting my turn. Half an hour into the lingering, I had to interrupt my handphone tai dee game (which was on a winning streak, by the way), to confront this timid, barely audible dentist.

He fantastically stated the obvious after sending me to do an unnecessary X-Ray (my first, in fact), as all medical practitioners do. My wisdom teeth were impacted and had to be removed. Also, typical of all medical practitioners, no one works on a weekend and the malingering surgeons were nestled in their cosy beds at home... Hence, my surgery/extraction will happen this coming Wednesday.

Chapter 2: Apoplectic POSBank Postlude, or the Salacious Subway Sandwich

Finally got my own POSBcard! At last can go and draw some $$$ from any location. This was after i complained that i kept depositing and depositing and never withdrew $.$

My father had to deposit $500 to open a separate account for me heh, and he said i could have all that $$$. Of course cannot anyhow spend lah... Its emergency only. 'Emergency' being what children view as being oodles short for that designer Fubu. Had to go all the way home first though, cause i forgot my idiotic identity card.

Got my wish for Subway after that and i needed some new earphones as well (current ones leaking + little white plastic thingy fell out). Didn't get that, but got more Dog Shampoo. As usual, White Chip Macadamia and Oatmeal Raisin rock all. Of course by themselves lah, not with dog shampoo...

Chapter 3: Freecell Furiousity, or the Never-ending Nap

Lost like, 4 freecell games. To which i simply gave up my verily imperfect score of 27-7 (win-loss ratio) and resetted me score :(. I guess it was the high-density carbo Subway bread clogging up my senses, as I kept identifying the wrong colours for the alternate suit placement.
Of all the music, The Offspring's Americana put me to sleep for about 1.5 hours, after which i slept again after awakening and changing my radio to Rick Dees.

Chapter 4: Bothersome Borders Breached

Finally got aroused (no sexual connotations, once again) from my slumber when I had to go for some celebratory dinner with some aunts and uncles from my mother's side (we're not very close with their children/hellions).

Northern Indian Cuisine ROX! Fish curry chicken curry curry kebab spinach curry papadoms, etc. Sure get some form of gastric tomorrow though, that or gas. Was abandoned by my cousin Amos for the dinner, to which i had to sit next to J of JKKS fame...

Sauntered over to Borders after that. Proud new aquisition of Men's Health and Scientific America. Must broaden my magazinal horizons since that's the only form of publishing i read e.e. Also, Men's Health has some damn cool tips on so many random stuffs (aay i'm somewhat a health fanatic. Pardon me if i want to live longer so as to extend my influence further). Of course the articles on sex and women can't go wrong either ;P.

Finally at home now, updating this tediously long blog entry. To those who have made it this far into the entry, CONGRATS! You have earned yourself (and for me) some form of utterly temporal and useless satisfaction. To all others, I know what you did last semester...

END

Bopping my Heretic Head to... Lucifer - Jay-Z

Pearls of Wisdom

Tomorrow morning at 10 am, i'll be losing all pearls of wisdom whatsoever. Permanently. Haha I mean my very irritating and grating wisdom teeth.

To be specific, its just the bottom left wisdom tooth that's been acting like some hooligan and causing me problems. Started just before CNY, whereby it was simply undertaking its expansionist regime under my gums. As usual, bloody painful, literally. Hurt everytime i chewed using my left molars (which i tend to always do... Most people chew at their right sides).

This stupid problem followed me all the way to Australia and back, after which it had grown into a formidable pearly white monster. I was sure it somehow deformed the positions of my other perfect teeth as it grew outwards.

The dental appointment was arranged as briskly as my father thought this was important. Hence, its a bloody 3 weeks later that i can finally have my tooth looked at.

As I started to innocently think that the civil war within my mouth had abated, I leaned my left jawbone to my shoulder once accidentally earlier this week, whereupon i discovered the rogue tooth's roots growing painfully OUT of the jaw. Its this weird bony lump thing that when pressed, is utter agony.

Couldn't help but fiddle and tongue the various parts of the wisdom tooth anyway (not sexually, lamers...), as one always does with a loose tooth. Except, this tooth seemed rather intent on staying past its invitation.

Finally can get it FORCIBLY removed. Stupid unwelcome guest/intruder. So many hideous stories about people and their wisdom teeth removal: from the curved colossal needles to the food particles getting stuck underneath skin flaps and bringing about rampant illness to the battlefields...

Wish me luck! And hope my wit and sarcasm aren't linked in any way to my teeth.

Falsetto singing... Signs - Beyonce ft Missy Elliott

Team Spirit Haunting Me

I just had this fantastic revelation today that i was positively SUCKY at team games O.o

Its like, my soccer, basketball, rugby, volleyball (i hope not) are all CRAP! I mean, its not that i'm not a team player, but then i refuse to take charge/responsibility and excel, instead shrugging off as much as i possibly can and hum jeeing in a corner, letting others play the game for me. Its like some self-imposed power dampener aka X-Men. I either just don't have the confidence to score, or have this immense fear of letting team-mates down (hence the MASSES of 'sorry's i spew).

That, or my hideous passion for perfection has led me to simply abandon and attempt to avoid any chance of failure.

I fumble with soccer, alot. Never chase the soccer ball. In vball leave all the digging to someone else whenever possible. Stand uselessly in a corner just *attempting* to block another player in basketball. The list goes on and on. I guess i just kinda suck at team games O.o

TODAY I CHANGE THAT!
GOING TO BE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC AND FAILURE-ACCEPTING

Or at least, will devoutly *attempt* to.

On the other hand, solo/duo undertakings i am definitely more superb in. Take table tennis, in 6 months became moderately pro, as was for badminton. In chess i defeated my Senior International Master of a father, earning a cool $500 last year. In sports such as running, skiing, pullups etc all above average (not haolianing siah). Then academically, soooo much easier to study alone, do homework/blog entries/write poems alone. Solitaire pwns my empty shell of a life.

Stupid lack of balance existence. BAH. Changing as of tomorrow.



Shakin' ma ass to... Whatever You Want - Christina Milian ft Joe Budden

The Title

... is a positively rocking song by Ciara, the queen of moi heart currently. Go buy her CD!

My Creative TravelSound speakers' blue light flickers to the heavy bass or beat of some songs when put at full volume! Verily psychedelic. Like some lava lamp liddat...

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Anyway, especially to all you bloggers, try this English Test out. I am

Advanced
You scored 89% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 95% Advanced, and 73% Expert!
You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

Sigh. Guess i'm no expert yet O.o. May be the carelessness though... whizzed through the test in 3 minutes.

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There has been no particular blog topic forcibly inserting itself in my mind as of late. Must be all that hoo-hah about the O levels and those spastic 11 A1 twins from RI. I'll bet they each study half the syllabus intensively, then just use their psychic links to update each other on whatever they've forgotten during the exam itself...

Of course, Nubi has been exceptionally cute of late, albeit his unsettling and disgusting hair-dropping problem. Yesterday, he was fed this colossal cooked lamb or beef bone, complete with hanging meat chunks at the side (dimensions about 1 by 0.5 by 0.5 feet). He was jovially curled in a corner, slupping up the the bone and gnawing at its goodness when suddenly, he decided to find some shade from the encroaching sun. Nubi then went from the concrete to a small grassy patch, where he accidentally dropped his new treasure.

HOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLL!!

And a few times somemore... Until my maid Carmen went and picked up his soiled (literally) bone and washed it. Proceeding this, Nubi just had the giant bone clasped firmly between his jaws, positively refusing to drop it. Even on the clean kitchen floor O.o
Soo cute! Considering he's quite bo chup and EXTREMELY quiet...

My physics teacher is VERY ah beng siah... Especially his typical Singaporean pronounciation: email as emew, problem as pobem. Its super amusing to try and decipher his spoken code O.o (aay, i think my english is advanced enough to go and criticise ;P).

Furthermore, the new physics lecturer has some sort of speech impediment, whereby she overly pronounces the start and end of every single bloody damned word. Not only is it extremely distracting to the content she's trying to preach, its funny (and im sure everyone in LT1 agrees) and uber-imitatable. It will be entertaining to the 100th degree when my physics teacher starts lecturing!!

Yeeech. There's this weird sick taste in my mouth now. Like phlegm in yong tau foo... Uggh making me not want to eat there again. Got to go cleanse it with some soya bean milk. Heh, cheap excuse to drink ;). Oh, and my stupid weight gain regime is so not working... My metabolism must have some proportionate increment to the amount of food i shovel in. Shovel shovel shovel = same weight.

Wak.



Tapping my fingers to... The Title - Ciara