Brutha-ly Love

Welcome to the quarry of the quintessential quirk, the caberet of the crazed cretin, the abode of the aberrant aristocrat, the nexus of the neurotic engineer, the diary of the dogmatic dog-lover and the ranch of the revolutionary romantic! Have fun at your own expense!

20051203

Sawed

I saw Saw.
I saw Saw too.
I saw Saw 2.
I too, saw Saw 2.



Fans of that marvelous movie will fondly recall the gruesome methods the 'Jigsaw' killed, or rather made his victims kill themselves. In precious commemoration of Saw 2's release, we decided to rig up some death traps of our own. Jo, Dar, Linus, me and later Nick were involved in this torture to end all tortures.

Unfortunately, since we weren't worthy enough to judge and punish each other for sins past (read: we're all overly evil), we resorted to torturing various bugs. 'Bugs' being a crude amalgamation of amphibians, reptiles and basically anything non-mammalian.

Disclaimer: All torture victims were obtained in an abandoned house, and there was great harm done to animals during the making of this blog entry.




The Tree-Lizard Tournament:

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Lizzie Mcguire, facing some fire

The deathtrap:

Lizzie would be placed within the sparkler box, with 2 holes opened on either end of it. He would be placed inside one end, whereby our sparklers ('you shen ying de') would be immediately 'SQUEEEEEd' (they make that sound o.O) into.

It was then up to the lizard to humjee at his corner and die, or brave the blazing blast and crawl to the other open end. If he made it, we would deem him fit to live the life he's been given, and free him to Mother Nature.

Of course, you can't expect reptiles whose brain matter are divided between their head and tail to think very well. Lizzie was immediately fried after 3 sparkler squees. Weak. Undeserving ingrate.

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Char-lizard, I choose you!




Farewell, Fiendish Frog

Ok, so it was a toad. There were 2 of them actually, a huge male with these warty and slimy dark markings, and a female that was much cuter in comparison. Their crime was eating too many flies, thereby unbalancing the fragile web of life.

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Bred in Captivation

They were caught making sweet love under a rock. How poetic that they should die together in the next deathtrap, the Leaning Ladder of Liquidation.

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What happens to a toad when it gets struck by lightning?

This trap involved a plank strapped atop a ladder. This ladder was then crudely positioned over my pond, where ravenous non-teenage, mutant ninja-eating turtles resided. Atop the plank was gauze to prevent the toad's untimely escape, while a few rows of cacti and sparklers were planted to make this escape even harder.

There was only one way out: The jump into the pond below. As usual, both toads jumped rather than risk getting burnt or impaled alive. However, even crueller fates awaited them...

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Ripped to shreds

The action and suspense was remarkable! Toad swimming frantically, turts chasing hungrily. Biting/struggling/ripping/dying/eating. Blood, skin, sinew and fat floating, lungs exposed, lips ripped. CARNAGE! WHEEEE! THE BLOOD! WAHAHAHA

*ahem*

Ok, to prove we aren't completely sadistic and disgusting,

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Happy Racial Harmony Day! *muacks*

Forgive us, all ye snails/centipedes/earthworms/toads/lizards.



Wiping off the blood to... Pieces of Me - Ashlee Simpson

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