Brutha-ly Love

Welcome to the quarry of the quintessential quirk, the caberet of the crazed cretin, the abode of the aberrant aristocrat, the nexus of the neurotic engineer, the diary of the dogmatic dog-lover and the ranch of the revolutionary romantic! Have fun at your own expense!

20050929

Chapter 4: How to Be a Buaya-ess

Before you start wondering about the gender equality (or lack thereof) in this book, read the title of this chapter once again! Ok, that was a rather weak argument, but so has been Bush's reason for invading countless sovereign, peace-loving countries.

Irritated by the way you dismember live buffalo that's too scary for guys? Afraid that the marsh makeup you so meticulously put on clashes with your light green skin tone? Tired of endlessly sunbathing on the river banks, showing off your body but to no avail?

Fret not, for this chapter will teach you how to be like Buaya Spears (pictured)

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Oops I did it again. I ate up your heart, got lost in the game

Beauty Tips:
  1. Don't ever use Eu de Roadkill as your perfume of choice! Unless of course you have 4 bottles to spare per sitting. However, buying out the store every month tends to burn a hole in your leather pockets. Men enjoy it when the girl smells worse, for it masks his own (horrific) body odour.
  2. Wear only the finest mink, with fresh bloodstains on it. Nothing turns a guy on more than knowing that his lady is self-sustaining and independent. Let him pamper you once in awhile though, for it lets him feel in charge.
  3. Keep your long hair under wraps, occasionally letting it down to show off your 'wild side', although that's what most of your prey will see anyway...
  4. Flash your hot thighs whenever possible. Especially if your name starts with the letter 'W'. Woo they won't be able to get enough of you (literally)!

Wooing/Being Woo'ed Tips:
  1. Be receptive to his attempts to communicate with you! Don't play hard to get, for it just makes you seem like a tau bitch that isn't worth pursuing. Try to respond to his SMSes within the month. Any less and it would make you seem desperate.
  2. Who says its wrong for the fairer sex to make the first move? Especially in Singapore, where the guys are so shy and socially inept. If you reject them when they actually DO have the courage to approach you, they will forever vow themselves into celibacy. Trust me, a whole generation of computer-stoned geeks is NOT good for the eye (candy, that is).
  3. Accept any gifts they give you, then choose your suitor based on the most expensive meaningful presents. Please ignore the canceled word. Please.

Dating Tips:
  1. Make yourself fashionably late, but not late, on the first date. The latter 'late' being you know what i mean...
  2. Offer to split the bill 2 ways! If he accepts, dump him because he's a cheapo.
  3. Offer to split the bill 2 ways! If he insists on paying, dump him because he doesn't believe in equal rights.

Just because this book is written by a Buaya (and a King at that) doesn't mean its not applicable to you!

With these, go and make your move, woman!



Back to the Buay-sics.

20050925

Extremely Over-Made

I'm sure altering the skin tone of over 90% of your body counts as an Extreme Make-Over.

I'm now officially black. That of course was punintentional, for besides me being as cool as a nigga (common knowledge), i am now one step closer to attaining their genetic (black) marker.

In case all you english illiterates did not get that, not that you will after i write this, i went TANNING today! ie I've pulled a reverse-Michael-Jackson!

Normally, i'm your typical deathly white recluse. I hole myself up at home and am content with DotA and MSN as my means of outside communication. However, i was rather peeved with that newspaper article insinuating about my 'tanned skin' that i finally just got down to doing it. I may as well justify Oxford's Dictionary, since 'tanned' in no way means 'unhealthily pale'.

Armed with a set of change and some gross trunks, i was fetched down to the Bishan Sports Stadium pool to manipulate the sun's afternoon rays to my nefarious purposes.

For the first hour, i was content swimming and lying inside the pool to sunbathe. My initial rate of whitening was unfortunately very disheartening. I guess it had something to do with my original paleness and smooth skin acting as radiative reflectors to the sunbeams O.o

While there, i busied myself watching the various swimming pool frequenters:
  1. The irritating children and their fugly parents. The former is clad in floats and goggles and a myriad of sparkly boards, while the latter is clad in floats and goggles and a myriad of sparkly boards. Soooo disgusting siahhs.
  2. The fellow tanner extraordinaire. Sigh You would think the eye-candy there wasn't so bitter. All the tanners were these hot, muscular guys eyeing the pool for some random bikini babe to show up (me included, not as a bikini babe ;P). Sigh, hopefully with this message, more hot girls will go down to the pools to look for the hot guys, and in the process everyone has their (beef)cake and gets to eat it too. Ok bad analogy there. How about 'changing the barren landscape will be like taking eye candy from a baby'? No? Wargh never mind.
  3. The intermediates. These people just blended into the surroundings... I never actually noticed what they did besides being lifeguards, instructors or other lap swimmers. The poor beings stuck in their monotonous lifestyles... At least i have my new tan to show for my 2.5 hours in the sun :)

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The White North America - Mexico Border

Anyway, trust me to blow up such a small matter. I can't help that after being TANNED, i feel better and am now only half-dead white.



Other than that, nothing much except CD shopping (Kanye West's Late Registration), movie-going (Brothers Grimm, which was rather pwningly allusionary) and right now at 12:18AM, blogging.

Sigh i better buck up my promo studying... Today was completely shot. Shot down in flaming spiralling wreckage that ignites a fuel tank situated below.



BOOOOOOOM to... Bring Me Down - Kanye West ft Brandy

20050924

Rec(r)ap

I'm in the midst of RJ's 'study break' now. Its just what the teachers officially call slacking off while they mark J2 exam scripts in air-conditioned luxury.

Anyway, it started off rather typically:

Cartel with class on Friday, reading Marvel Comics (The Ultimates 2, vol 3 fyi) and DotAing off. Oh there was some studying too, although its degree of ionisation was considered negligible since there was so much other crap around dissociating in its place.

The Sub-Club had yet another official convention on Saturday at Novena. Normally composed of Nick and I, this time there was a whopping 50% increment with the addition of fellow-Subway fanatic Daryl! Woo! We then had a rather productive 3 hours of mugging at the Starbucks.

Which creates an opening for me to sidetrack: Starbucks ROX to study in! There's a cosy ambience, cool air-conditioning, comfy chairs and of course, CAFFEINATED COFFEE! Coffee which helps keep you awake while slaving at Maths. Coffee that keeps you hyper in times of extreme sian-sation.

Just thinking about it gives me the coffee high O.o

After that, we went to have a sumptuous Japanese dinner (which we were too full for).

Peckishness at night can only be fulfilled by 'UNSWEETENED FRUIT AND BRAN MUESLI' from Marks and Spencer's! Everyone please try this. Please try this above all the other 3669827661 foodstuffs i've recommended so far.

It's initially bland, so bland that in fact it feels healthy. After a few chews though, the fruity flavours of apricot and raisins flow out. Also, it has the BEST texture in the world. I could just go on chewing it till Eternity ended.

Chew chew chew.

I'll be needing some for the rest of the study break ;)



Not knowing what action to type this to to... Crack Music - Kanye West

20050923

AskPeeves

I've just realised how spoilt/obsessive compulsive i am.

Ok, technically i knew that several years ago when everyone was boisterously proclaiming my faults in the streets. I just had to feign the sudden-realisation for a blog topic.

Yes, i AM sad. At least knowing and admitting to it is half the problem solved :)

Yes, i AM sad.

:)

Anyway, i have these gross little... warts habits. The least of which gives me problems, the most of which gives me migraine-inducing migraines (try to imagine that, it WILL give you a migraine for sure).



My Cumbersome Coin EcCENTricity

I have some beef with 50 Cent. Literally.

I hate having coins in my wallet/pocket/bodily orifice. I lividly HATE it. This causes me to desperately deposit dollars with much disdain, fearing an unavoidable influx of coins.

The result is that i empty my coin pouch whenever i can, i spend time fingering out exact change, i give people coins as presents and i change coins for well, coins of bigger denominations. I use 5 cents as projectiles, I refuse to accept payment involving more than 3 coins of value less than $0.50 (or i grumble until i don't have to)... The list goes on.

Stupid coins. Everything should be automated and we should have mind-controlling chip implants in our brains to psychically pay for our bills. It would be so much more convenient! And at least, we would get a penny for our thoughts...



Perfection > Work Ethic

Well, guess who ran out of liquid paper? Guess who then went and fell asleep while doing physics notes, causing a culmination of coloured crosses and cancellations?

Me lah, duh.

After that, it just felt so painful to continue making the physics notes that i SMSed Ka to buy back some liquid paper. Proceeding that, i went off to DotA since any further attempt at note-making would only highlight more of my errors.

Sigh. I need a life... A lifetime supply of figurative and literal erasers, that is.



My Chastity to Cholesterol-Chugging

I have familial hypercholesterolemia. That's inherited high cholesterol for the commoner, and 'mama papa give the fatty sick' for Ah Bengs.

I'm 17, the healthiest i've been in ever, and have been a prominent supporter of health-foods in my school. Ok, the latter was because of the high cholesterol, but what the heck, they ARE nice.

Anyway, thanks to this genetic disease, eggs and unadulterated fats have been forbidden from my diet. I stopped eating fast food, ice cream and fried stuffs. I give my egg yolks away to my friends, most probably giving them high cholesterol as well.

Sigh, i wish my chaste nature could be applied elsewhere, if you know what i mean ;)



If only i were rich enough to afford these eccentricities.

Rich + Crazy = Cool.
Moderate + Crazy = Semi-cool.
Poor + Crazy = Social degenerate.



Dark Chocolating to... Lovefool - The Cardigans

20050921

Smilie Similie: Druggie

In dire moments of immense boredom, what does one do?

Why, one makes MSN smilies brimming with mephistophelean ambiguity.

Such as...

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My 1st (h)emoticon!

It is supposed to represent the look of utter contentment on your face after inhaling copious amounts of mind-numbing hallucinogens (read: getting high).

Note its typical features of a druggie: Those slit-like eyes stuck in a moment of ecstasy, an exceptionally huge smile (well, its a smiley duh) and finally, the typical yellow skin of someone pumped full of amphetamine bright and sunny.

Well, i suppose it COULD serve other purposes. Weed-induced euphoria? Caffeine-high? Sugar OD? Love potion chugging?

Whatever, its for you to use, and for me to profit from.

How to convert it into an MSN Smiley:
  1. Simply right click over the image and 'Save Image as' *insert your perverse pet name* for it.
  2. Open up your MSN conversation window. Come to think of it, you should open up some windows where you are too, considering how stinky this will make your MSN.
  3. Go to 'Tools', 'My Emoticons', 'Create', then find the picture and give it whatever shortcut desired. 'Shortcut' does not refer to stimulant-injections.

Right... Now I expect my regular MSN conversationists to show me some hypnotic love :)



Disclaimer: The smiley and its use by its apocryphal author, Dwayne Wang, are in no way representive of his true emotions (and state of mental sanity) at that point. Oh for God's sake its just a smiley.



Crying my eyes out literally to... A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra

20050920

Coffee Out of My Coffers

Seow. Sometimes i amaze myself at the quality of puns/wordplay that i employ. Normally, i do not dictate out my blog entries to myself when i type it, however, Nick is here behind me peering into the computer screen and making it difficult for me to write with reckless abandon.

Ok, he's gone. Now he's merely peering into my vast gallery of salaciously scandalous phone pictures. That so lightens my blogging burdens :P

Anyway, i wanted to bring the glories of the COFFEE bean to the mainstream! Oh wait, it's already in the mainstream. Well, i suppose i could try to get it out of the drainstream.

"START THE BLUETOOTH DEVICE!" a megalomaniacal pop-up bellows grandiosely on my computer screen. I diligently follow its instructions, uploading this:

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Nick says with bloodshot eyes and 'addict hair':
Coffee. Is. GOOD.

It was through the humble coffee biscuit that my taste buds have been altered. Lately, i've been loving coffee more and more, from Starbucks' Caramela to Banana Coffee, from teh kopi to Roti Boys. WOO!

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Coffee, tea AND me (if 'tea' and 'me' were coffee biscuits *drools*

The Coffee Biscuit

Stewing in sumptuous salvation,
Embraced in ever-evident ecstacy,
The powerfully packed potion,
It's curiously caffeined crunch.
Delicious, delirious, delivered*,
Especially when its munched.

*(Delivered since your liver will DIE)



WAAH the benefits of coffee. Its as addictive as DotA! Coffee beans even made me appreciate the earlier-much-despised dark chocolate! Cocoa in comparison to coffee is confectionary.

Everybody, drink coffee NOW!

It gives you a caffeine high (or the associated sugar high)! It increases your concentration (but reduces your attention span)! It... It... Erm what else... COFFEE BREAK!

Note: I'm on a coffee high, in case that was not already BLINKING evident.



Digesting ban mian and coffee biscuits to... A Letter From Dreamland - Parking Lot Pimp

20050918

Under the Yoke of Tyranny, Part 5

Previous YOKE OF THE DAY time!! An absolutely prefect remedy for when one has had all his creative juices wrung out dengue! Okay, maybe not dengue, but since laughter IS the best medicine...

In case you didn't notice, the 'John Lennon has his Yoko Ono, I have my Yoke-o, Day-old' at the bottom of the page (or at the top, for this one) leads back to the Yoke of the Day Command Center. Its where we organise the relief efforts for people too grossed out by its randomness/lameness.

Anyway, these start from approximately mid-June till July 15th. I know precisely why July 15th because the day after... Oh the day after. It will remain forever etched in my memory. Nvm, please continue:



  • An invention without a philosophy is an abomination (Quoth Full Metal Alchemist, the anime i started watching in Feb... And haven't finished).
  • When there's a bill there's a pay (WOO the thingum i got Tomorrow'ed for! Of course, it doesn't matter that i was the one who recommended myself E.e)
  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/iharthdarth/ (Go NOW! Crazy website with exceptionally cute comics on the Galatic Empire. I couldn't put up the link cause of Blogger's feud with Livejournal)
  • Keep losing till we win! (The volleyball team sentiment. Kinda tell's you lots about our standard :D)
  • Those damned french vongoloids (Von gole? Mongoloid? Heh frenching. Heh random.)
  • Doting on dota (read: obsession beyond Ministry of Health safe limits)
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how old do you think Michael Jackson's boyfriend is? (From Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's @ the King of Pop's trial. Whew, that had a lotta capital letters)
  • Por favor, no me agas tu puta ('please don't make me your bitch' in mexican or italian)
  • The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my room and spread the word. (Yes, let's!)
  • Stop playing trigs on me (Oh yucks, i hate this chapter in Maths. Come to think of it, i hate Maths now yeech)
  • I GOT TOMORROWED (Jeremy)! (For his Typical Singaporean entry. tRuLÿ g0su, btw)
  • Water water everywhere, but OH SO MANY drops to drink. (Euugh. The memory of water-bloatedness is not likely to leave my memory anytime soon. Poor Japanese torturants)
  • Welcome to the domain of the deft dominator, the cornucopia of the creative... uh, kid, the lattices of the lamenting lamers, the villa of the vile volleyballer, the hall of the hefty hellspawn! Have fun at your own expense! (My old erm, whatchamalacallit. It's that thing underneath my 'Brutha-ly Love' title)
  • Wo de melon you ma yi ('wo de melon' = 'watermelon'? Punny? No? Nevermind. It had ants on it, and that wasn't very funny either)
  • Sorry to disappoint, but my rubber lips are immune to your charms. (From the BEST movie in the world, BATMAN & ROBIN! Its so super nice that its gross)
  • Chemically speaking, basic bimb (since something 'basic' in chemistry tends to have OH- ions, a 'basic bimb' is a BIMBOH~!)
  • Party like there's HOES tomorrow! (TGIF, TGTH. The latter means 'Thank God there's Hos)
  • GIR: I am Government Man! Come from the government! The government has sent me! (Invader Zim displaying its pwnage for all to see)
  • Half an hour for all THAT shit?? (Hmm, i actually forgot what i wrote this for. Try to find a random entry on exalted excretion please)
  • 2 Tickets to mOzzfest up for grabs! (Post-mosquito-massacre. I think there was more blood back then than there was after Ozzie bit off that poor bat's head)
  • Who's up for some thick and creamy beef broth? (The fungi at IMCB that we were cultivating got to eat BEEF! My only choice of food then was lik, vegetarian! Lucky shits... literally)
  • The God of War is helping me find songs. (Ares! After my the God of Dreams died on me. Stupid Morpheus)
  • Excusee-me babee, but you're wanting to dance? (Russell Peters on his other lesser-known racist joke clip)
  • It can kill 50000 people with this load (The tagline from 'Stealth'. Stupid movie about a living plane. Sigh, it could have been an awesome invisible Godzilla sex show instead, and i'm sure that would have made LOTSS more)
  • Pining from dusk till Dawn... (Hmmm. No comment)
  • My least favourite dog:
    Border Colliesterol (Yes, its true. I am back on the high end of the cholesterol chain. Must be too many Yokes liao)
  • Eat me! Get a new kidney! (The basic message on slimming drugs nowadays)
  • All the cheapos in the house
    Only wanting things on the house (At the Bloggers.SG convention, whereby everyone stayed back only for the free house drinks. Little would i know about my escapades the next day...)


John Lennon has his Yoko Ono, I have my Yoke-o, Day-old.



Diving into the homework pile to... She's Falling Apart - Jewel

20050914

The Enzyme Theory of the Classroom

In Biology, enzymes are typically described as biological catalysts that speed up or alter the rate of reaction without themselves being chemically changed at the end of it.

In Darwinian Dwaynean Classroom Biology, a promising new sector in (no)Life Sciences, enzymes are defined as 'illogical classmates that speed up or alter the rate of interaction without themselves being charismatically challenged at the end of it'.

Ok, that made no sense whatsoever... Essentially, classroom dynamics can be represented by the enzymatic action on substrates:

Firstly, all peoples within the classroom are either enzymes or substrates. Enzymes are the more talkative and active of the people who hold dominion over their sites. In comparison, substrates are the students within the cliques who are generally quieter and more withdrawn

This would explain the clique structure in the classrooms. The students will literally bond together based on the enzyme-substrate specificity and react smoothly. Neither of which would participate in other clusters' cataclysmic catalytic activities.


This entry acts to catalyse your disinterest!

Secondly, since enzymes lower the activation energy of a reaction, the reason why people are more energetic in their cliques is established! Its easier to start talk and do bullshit when you're with your gang, is it not?

Next, the free-ranging socialites can be represented by the Induced-fit model of enzymes. They can temporarily alter their structure to accommodate that of a new group of friends, and can activate reactions in a wide range of people. These free-radicals go about isomerising, lysing and hydrolysing their friends (read: changing, opening them up and watering them down).

And of course, who can forget the class misfits/outcasts/fugees? The ones that everybody either detests, loathes or plain hates. The grossgusting students comparable to the Black Death (or the genetic disease)?

Well, these people assume the roles of protolytic enzymes or proteases. These enzymes themselves digest protein, the crucial component of fellow enzymic classmates. This would explain why one feels destroyed and frustrated when the repugnant ignoramuses forcefully bind to you and catalyse your emotions in their active sites.


'HIV' stands for 'Haolian, Indecent, Violent'.

Even the methods undertaken to avoid these mongoloids are explained in enzymic action! There are molecular disguises (eg running and hiding), the binding of allosteric inhibitors to the proteases (sacrificing a good soul to preoccupy the irritants while everyone else runs and hides), etc.


Not to be mistaken for Lego blocks...

Of course, not everyone is affected by these trollgres outcasts. These tolerant students are hence substrates other than protein, such as carbohydrates (or fatties), who cannot be broken down by the proteases.

And how convenient it is that these all occur within the student body...



Winning BEP hampers to... Your Woman - White Town

Looking for Trouble, issit?

What people have unwittingly (read: stupidly) searched online to have stumbled on my humble ablog.

Last 20 Keywords:


09/14/05 03:32:06
lack eyed peas: bebot- translation (Yahoo)
09/14/05 01:03:06
sex shop transy bosom (Google)
09/14/05 00:46:05
nekkid min stewing up (MSN)
09/13/05 10:40:11
"auspicium melioris aevi" download (Google)
09/13/05 07:56:49
thick thigs fat asses (Yahoo)
09/12/05 23:47:53
bebot lyrics translation (Yahoo)
09/12/05 21:42:17
handphone beauty wraps (Yahoo)
09/12/05 19:34:38
heard his gay moans (MSN)
09/12/05 19:00:12
beyonce dangerously in love thank yous (MSN)
09/12/05 10:08:25
in the shape of an L on her forehead (MSN)
09/12/05 07:59:14
jianbrutha (Google)
09/12/05 04:41:47
wisdom teeth extraction singapore (Yahoo)
09/12/05 00:56:34
What does turning Saints into the sea mean? (AltaVista)
09/11/05 21:50:26
jianbrutha (Google)
09/11/05 20:04:26
grandma's deep penetration (Yahoo)
09/11/05 16:44:21
xanga touch amerie song code (Yahoo)
09/11/05 08:59:49
jianbrutha (Google)
09/10/05 11:04:39
longing to hols you love cards (MSN)
09/10/05 07:15:07
my humps bep duration (Google)
09/10/05 06:45:45
anthony ler (Yahoo)



Blog viewership has been down lately, but sexual-heat-seeking missiles have been UP, UP and STAYed.

Sigh, it was at roughly 75 individual IPs a day during the holidays. However, the onset of school and promos has downed it to that of the pre-'Hunkiest' days.



Being highly amused to... Best of You - Foo Fighters

20050912

From Asparagus to Zucchini

Vegetables ROCK! Besides the fact that in a game of 'rock, paper, scissors', paper, a derivative of vegetables, just wraps rock up soooo efficiently.

I've decided to dedicate today's entry to the multitude of lean greens that i thoroughly enjoy, especially in lieu of people criticising the poor vegetating lifeforms.



The vegeTables have turned...

For one, they make you pretty and girly HEALTHY! Who can resist the nutritional benefits a plate of plain steam-boiled broccoli can offer?? Ok besides you two in the corner. And you. And you. AND you. Argh stupid pot-haters.



Secondly, they turn all that *GRUUUUNT* *GROOOOAN* *EIIIIIGH* into a swift and sudden *ba-dooomph*. Constipation is now a thing of the past. The past motion that is.


The root of the abrased buttocks problem

Nobody cares that they may rot, ferment and fester in your large intestines. Just as long as they clear away that irritable bowel syndrome.



Next, vegetables bring myriad tastes to the dining room! From the precariously pungent to the noxiously nectar'ed, the sickeningly sweet to the blasphemously bland.

Contrast this to the single taste of meat: UMAMI. In case you didn't know, 'umami' is the fifth taste after salty, sweet, bitter and sour. It characterises the savoury sensations encountered while masticating meats.

Now ponder over this:

If you were a vegetarian, you'd get a cornucopia of goodies! There's zhai char siew, zhai Black Pepper Steaks, eggplant, tomatoes, soya bean milk and all other sorts of delectable consummables to choose from!

However, if you a meatytarian, you'd be stuck with... BEEF! And chicken and fish and pork and alligator meat. For seasoning you'd get a completely vegetable-free sauce that most likely involves copious amounts of LARD! For dessert, there's no sinful chocolate for you, there's a lovely meat shake! Made from premium sirloin, fresh distilled water and a lil' LARD for texture!


Guess what? The meal above is VEGETARIAN!!



Finally and above all, vegetables have the capacity to make you HIGH (as i am now)!


Winnie the Whoooo-zy

Who can resist the chemical reaction when flavonoids and barbituates are gently heated? The pleasant aroma, the tiny whiffs of heaven, the swirling pigeons...



Edit: All 35410357 pictures of eggplant have been removed by the Blog Administrator for fear of the wrong message being portrayed to audiences. Prodigious , purple and phallic objects should NEVER be displayed on a blog.




Vegemite pwn me to...Let's Get Blown - Snoop Dogg

20050910

End of (Holi)Days

Sigh. It may have been inevitable, it may have been always ominously lurking around the corner, it may have been silently creeping in the shadows, awaitng the opportune moment to strike.

It is the end of the holidays. These good yet unproductive holidays. Okay wait, they weren't even that good.

Firstly, i lost a friend just because of some girl. It wasn't even that i was chasing her, but merely that i highlighted some... um, boundaries he has to cross to successfully woo her. Well, i've sent my apologies, and if he's too caught up in her his life to accept it, then i guess i was never of much importance in the first place, eh?

Secondly, the 2 hours spent on a DotA game yesterday was utterly wasted (not as if the other time spent on it isn't e.E). 2 hours is a PAINFULLY long time, even for a DotA game, or a Jean Claude Van Damme intellectual thriller. I was owning as the Night Stalker, having for the first time escaped my 'mid-game blues' with but 2 deaths (i had 23 kills by the end of the game). We were winning by a considerable margin throughout the whole game, until we stupidly dragged it on for too long and let the opponent(s) get powerful.

Sigh. In the end, we got killed by cheapo backdooring (which is when a powerful single hero just cheongs in while the rest of the team is away attacking). %(*%@&&

Thirdly, Nick has so gratuitously pang seh'ed our weekly Subway ritual. Wargh. Now i'm stuffed with food that is NOT remotely close to Subway sandwich/cookie standard. And they say I influence and dominate him so much...

Fourthly, the onset of school will be so awkward. For reasons unknown. It WILL be awkward. The word 'awkward' has such an amusingly awkward spelling! You can taste the deviation in this sentence...

Anyway, i've decided to STOP DotAing once the holidays are over. To all my fellow regular DotAers that read this, NOTE THAT ITS A CALL TO PLAY NOW!!

I have so many comics to read somemore... Life is packed as it is without a girl.



Regurgitating seaweed and fish to... Blue Eyes Blue - Phil Collins

20050908

What Sort of Chemical Element are You?

You would describe yourself most as
  1. Red with anger, feeling blue, green with envy
  2. Giant. And lattice-like. (Ok this option is so not obvious e.E)
  3. The source of life
  4. You can't describe yourself for nuts

What is your favourite music genre?
  1. Pop pop p0pPy poP!
  2. Metal. (Ok this option is so not obvious again E.e)
  3. Anything organic.
  4. Anything, anything at all.

Describe your electrical conductivity
  1. BZZZZT!
  2. BZZZZZZZZT!
  3. Anisotropy please.
  4. I haven't actually stuck my finger in a socket thus far, and wish for it to remain that way.

What's your favourite pasta?
  1. Different sauces for different occasions.
  2. Only those with lots of Zinc. And Calcium. And Iron. And...
  3. Carbonara.
  4. Plain ol' Aglio Olio.

Do you think this quiz is retarded?
  1. No, but that's only on the outside.
  2. It's merely 'intellectually impaired'.
  3. Abu?
  4. You answer for me.

Now, count the number of '1's or '3's you chose when answering the questions. The one with the most determines your type! (Scroll down to see it, spazzoid x.X)



Mostly 1's:


You may also be somewhat gay.

Copy and paste [img src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b30/jianbrutha/elements/transele.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"], and add the weird shift functions of ',' and '.' at the start and end.



Mostly 2's:


You Sonor when you sleep!

Copy and paste [img src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b30/jianbrutha/elements/metal.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"], and add the weird shift functions of ',' and '.' at the start and end.



Mostly 3's:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Have a Buckyball of a time!

Copy and paste [img src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b30/jianbrutha/elements/nonmetal.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"], and add the weird shift functions of ',' and '.' at the start and end.



Mostly 4's:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Crazy? NON! Cray-xenon? GET IT?

Copy and paste [img src="http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b30/jianbrutha/elements/Xe.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"], and add the weird shift functions of ',' and '.' at the start and end.



Ta Da! My first quizzy thing. Which sucks very very bad. Do it anyway, and what the hell, the earlier questions make no sense. Just choose whichever picture you want :P

I think i'm a transition metal. o.O



Studying chem while blogging to... Bad Day - Daniel Powter

20050906

Time Spent is Time Saved

I don't get how people can be so inefficient when mugging.

Let's see, as of last Tuesday,

I stayed over at Nick's house. I DotA'ed for a minimum of 14 hours. I went to H.U.M.. I slept for an average 2 hour nap from 10:30am to 12:30om (to be woken only for lunch). I saw 2 movies (March of the Penguins, The Perfect Catch). I went to a birthday party. I went for Subway thrice (and the nearest one is at bloody Novena). I managed to digest 2 new CDs (Missy Elliott's third, and this mixtape/CD). I went to church + cell. I went for karaoke and Heavy Hands. I assiduously assayed teenage angst. I...

You get the drift.

AND,

I COMPLETED THE CHEMISTRY SYLLABUS, as well as physics up till Kinematics.

How the hell did i do that?

How the hell are other people unable to?

Argh it probably has something to do with volume of study.



Anyway, yesterday rocked! To the anonymous YOU, let's do that more often :)!

Edit: I completely revamped the layout of King Croc's Guide to Buayaing. Also, new chapters will appear as new entries, and eventually compiled :).



Chewing kiwi to... Step Off - Missy Elliott

20050905

hACNEyed

They are the worst nightmares of some. Fierce, fugly and feudal, they have been feared for centuries past. They are the basis for the monopoly of ruthless multi-national corporations.

They attack in droves, when you least expect it and when you least want them to (not that there is any preferred time for their sieges)

Slowly but surely, they dominate the battlefield with both the living and the dead. Every member felled is another platoon re-forming. No, i'm not talking about random Flooble Chatterbox flamers, i'm talking about ACNEfied PIMPLES!


Pass that Pus.

Ok, the picture IS one of mango ice cream, but with some imagination...

Anyway, i cannot possibly fathom the reasons for my breakout this time. I haven't been under any sort of particular stress or exposed to any unhygienic situations.

Unless.

Me being flamed for being me by people i hardly know (although i'd bet they would flame me if they knew me) counts. What about me being behind schedule for my promos revision? Me still spending 8 hours over the weekend unceremoniously DotAing?

There was Heavy Hands followed by the grimy Prata Cafe on Thursday, immediately after some oil-rich foods in Tori Karaage and oysters. Yesterday, there also was the friendly soccer match at Linus' birthday party and the very bare (literally) rinsing after. Today, a calamitous attempt to unload some oversized koi into Macritchie Reservoir led to some bloodied water splashing all over me. Also, i didn't bathe till 10 minutes ago.

Then there IS my *ahem* teenage angst. How everyone will react to everything everytime. How i react to everything everytime. Plain ol' worrying? Magazines piled to giddying heights?

Sigh. Acne. At the worst time possible. I'd better stop worrying about them, lest it becomes worse in yet another vicious cycle in my life.

What do you call a beginner hustler?

A pimple.



Prodding my beginner hustlers to... One Minute Man - Missy Elliott

20050903

Why

Why does the ugly guy get the cute girl?

Why do girls make it soooo hard to get asked on a date?

Why do these same girls do all they can to spoil everything you've had planned?

Why am i in such a gross mood mere weeks before our promos?

Conversely,

Why are some girls sooo bloody nice?

Why do they do all they can to help you get what you want?

Yet not receive the proper thanks, the proper gratitude?

Why do people not wish me luck, on this a path no other sibling of mine has taken (and will ever take)?

Why am I on the verge of revealing everything to the bloody world?

Sigh, stupid blog. Stupid popular blog.



Digesting partychow to... Get Ur Freak On - Missy Elliott

20050901

Wake Me Up When September Comes

Wah 11:59 pm still qualifies for a September 1st entry!

The school holidays have already commenced their slow and painful jog, whilst i haven't even recovered from June's fun yet. Even Congren has commented that i've been stuck in rebel mode: Skipping school, hooliganising and plotting to take over the world...

Term 3 may as well have been non-existent. The Common Tests which took up a good 3 weeks in all its doing and discussion; The serendipitously splendid stupid Bloggers.Con which propelled me and my cousin into national(ly suannable) spotlight; National Day holidays; Teacher's Day holidays; reunions and parties, band nites and DotA-ddictions.

Sigh.

(You can see where this is all leading up to)

...

...

ta da!

The PROMOS are around the corner. If by 'around the corner' i mean DEATHLY IMMINENT. They're in approximately 3 weeks, and once again i haven't started my *ahem* revision.

Technically, i'm 3/4 done already though. Listening during lectures is half the work, while doing one's tortorials (torturous + tutorials) contributes another half of half. Of course, this is also me trying to justify the amount of time i spend not temporarily cramming my brain full of useless facts redundant in real life.

Well, proud to say, i have somehow managed 6 chapters of chem in the last 3 days. Heh its so easy, its sleazy.

I can't believe i overslept yesterday. Ok, so i WAS supposed to coincidentally oversleep past the RJC Teacher's Day Celebrations, but it was never intended for me to sleep past ACS(I)'s celebrations too. The many random calls i got from 7:45am onwards were thoroughly unwarranted and were pivotal in my unfortunate overdoze. The DotAing until 2am the previous night was in no way responsible.

I DID try to make it up by SMSing some of my favourite teachers. But that just didn't have the same effect (as eating ACSI's sumptuous yong tau foo).

H.U.M. last night didn't live up to its hype. The worship was ho-H.U.M., whilst the heavily accented sermon was SOOOO funny! Imagine a Honkie pastor pronouncing it as 'yewneetee' (unity) and 'bie-pwoduckte' (by-product). Nick and I were rolling around in suppressed stitches, and definitely needed stitches if we continued laughing behind the irate-tated congregation.

Today, however, was fun to the power of infinity.

Me getting lost like some swakoo in Takashimaya, Sushi buffet, Karaoke, walking around, talking to my sis about relationships, Heavy Hands workout, Prata Cafe + overeating, BATHING.

OMG People don't appreciate being clean until they're dirty. BATHING ROCKS! Being clean ownz the world!!

Anyway, i once again have to disappear. Don't worry, i haven't mellowed out just because i have a date. My blog entries will be up, up, and STAYed in no time :)



Pwning Chem Energetics to... Run Girl - David Banner