Brutha-ly Love

Welcome to the quarry of the quintessential quirk, the caberet of the crazed cretin, the abode of the aberrant aristocrat, the nexus of the neurotic engineer, the diary of the dogmatic dog-lover and the ranch of the revolutionary romantic! Have fun at your own expense!

20060129

Happy Valentine's Day

"Happy Valentine's Day"

[Intro: Andre 3000]
My name is Cupid Valentino, the modern day Cupid
And I just want to say one thing

[Verse 1: Andre 3000]
Happy Valentine's Day
Every day the 14th!
I don't think y'all heard me!
I just wanna say Happy Valentine's Day!
Every day the 14th!
Can y'all dig that?
Now when arrows don't penetrate, see
Cupid grabs the pistol (Uh, yeah, now, now lookie here!)
And he shoots straight for your heart
And when he won't miss you!
That's alright 'cause y'all won't believe in me anyways
But..

[Hook: Joi & "Skreechy Peachy" (Andre 3000)]
Ya won't believe in me, but you would fancy
leprechauns or groundhogs
No thank you, Easter Bunny!
(There's all this talk about Santa Claus, but see
love will rule reign supreme)

[Verse 2: Andre 3000]
Happy Valentine's Day
Every day the 14th! (You got it!)
When Cupid knocks at your door
You can't ignore me!
There's no need to run!
So, Happy Valentine's Day (Hey!)
Every day the 14th!
I may have it all wrong, see
If you know what loves mean, well
Well, somebody tell me!
'Cuz they just don't believe in me!

[Hook: Joi & "Skreechy Peachy" (Andre 3000)]
Ya' won't believe in me, but you would fancy
leprechauns or groundhogs
No thank you, Easter Bunny!
(There's so much fuss about Santa Claus, but see
Cupid will not be defeated!)

[Verse 3: Andre 3000]
Happy Valentine's Day
Every day the 14th!
Now I know your hearts have grown cold
And that bothers me
Now I understand 'cause I use to be a bad boy in my day
I know you're trying to protect your lil' feelings
but you can't run away
Oooh ooh!

[Hook: Joi & "Skreechy Peachy" (Andre 3000)]
Ya' won't believe in me, but you would fancy..
(Hey! Don't you supposed to be some kind of player or something?)
Bunny!

[Talking: Andre 3000]
Well keep on runnin', player
'Cause I got my good shoes on
And I got 'em tied up tight
So, you're going to find out tonightttttttttt!

[Verse 4: Andre 3000]
Got a sweet lil' darling back in my corner
Below I know I love her, but act like I don't want her
Surrounded by the lonely, but yet feel like a loner
Could be an organ donor
The way I give up my heart, but
Never know because - shit, I never tell her!
Ask me about my feelings I'd holla' that it's irrela'
I don't get myself caught up in the Jello gella'
And puddin' pops, that others opt to call falling in love, but
For the record, have you ever rode a horse?
Would I like for you to take me to Pluto?
I said, "Of course!"
But if you ain't a sweety indeedy, I won't endorse
Hans Solo till I'm hit by the bullet, so may the force
Be with you, and I'll hit you when better time permits
For now, give me examples of why you're the shit!
But how am I to know with the profession that I'm in?
And if you do not know me, then how could you be my friend?

[Chorus: Andre 3000, Joi, and "Skreechy Peachy"]
Happy Valentine's, Happy Valentine's
Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine's Day

[Continue Chorus until fade]



OOPS, wrong holiday! to... Happy Valentine's Day - Andre 3000

20060124

I Made a Yoke! Part 7

.. I 'ope I weeeen.

Yokes of the Day strike again! Hopefully without a metaphorical stick or an idiomatic hammer though, cause they really hurt..

Anyway, YotDs are the essence of this blog, the only thing worth returning to read. They are bite-sized chunks of wit and are fully digestible, provided one's literary tract is free of infection.

Enjoy these ones from September '05 up till somewhere just before the J1 promotional exams.



  • Voyeur into the Unknown! (Yes, yes i AM a big/huge voyeur. But aren't you glad ;)?)
  • Prime and Pride wait for no man (We'll soon be out of our prime... Seize the day! Carpe Diem! Stop redundantly repeating myself!)
  • In 'Subtlety' there is a subtle 'B' (WOAH, really now??! Love this self-made pun though)
  • 'Am i obsessive? I'm not obsessive, right??! Are you sure i'm not obsessive? Tell me i'm not obsessive!' (Quoth Jen, the very very extremely obsessive sane person)
  • Whose opia? (Quoth Lydia from the gross show, "Living With Lydia", in one of the lamest jokes in the world involving 'myopia')
  • Don't court the court by getting caught (Do you punderstand?)
  • Confucius says:
    "When you have bad hair day,
    Use Dwayne's Ultra Tough Styling Clay
    (Ughh. Stupid Rilong and his vocal disregard of my beauteous hair... Ok, semi-beauteous. Good ad for Gatsby though)
  • Sabotaage! Sabotaage! (Quoth the suicide pigeons in 'Valiant', easily the crappiest animation in 2005. Oh wait! There was Heffalump..)
  • Creeping for lvl 3 Trolls around town (Eww. Troll-bus. Ewww)
  • Love's Labour Cost (The work to get someone not to freak out or get scared away is hard enough.. But to get them to like you??!)
  • BYE JEN!
  • Make or Break (Broken.)
  • Show me some love, strip off your clothes, and take off your socks (From Missy Elliott's "4 My People". Cute and apt!)
  • Rejected, Dejected... Spected (People freaking people out as usual)
  • Welcome to the district of the diffident DOTAer, the quarters of the quinessential quirk, the locale of the luscious lipid, the marsh of the macabre MENSAn and the sanctuary of the secretive setter! Have fun at your own expense! (The old, alliteration-y description on my blog header!)
  • She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead (From Smashmouth's "All Star". Something familiar with most people in JC...)
  • On the precipice of liking (That thing you confuse with actually liking someone. Yes, that irritating thing.)
  • Strike 3! You're OUT! (See "Rejected, Dejected... Spected")
  • If my cheeks were so full, round and bright, i'd moon you too! (Mooncakes!)
  • Why wordplay when you can foreplay? (Precisely, why?)
  • Angrily burning incense makes me incensed with burning anger (Ughh damn bloody smelly lah, those 7-month ghosties.. And i don't mean their farts)
  • Blaxtra fulfilled (Day after i tanned myself quite black! Whee! Altho Dione said i'm white as heck again... Sigh)


John Lennon has his Yoko Ono, I have my Yoke-o, Day-old.



Chewing chunky chicken to... Hazel Eyes - The Darkness

20060121

Popular, i LOVE YOU!

Popular bookstore. Long the bane of many a child as the Assessment Book Centre. Long the plague upon proper magazine connoiseurs. More associated with ruthless communism and confucianism than beneficient consumerism, Popular has made its name. And a gross one at that...

Recent events, however, have completely and utterly changed my viewpoint.

Picture Maisto Custom Shop cars. They are the epitome of modern collectible toys that most Western kids play with. Not something to be expected inside a orientally-oriented shop.

When there with a good friend yesterday, i accidentally stumbled upon:


Chopped VW Bug PINK!

It was the last car that i needed to complete the G-Ridez first release! After seeing my immense excitement (although blind people in India could too), she bought it for me as a belated X-mas present! THANK YEWW! Wah 21/1/06 really was one of the better days of my life...



THEN, after gymming with Nick today, we went down to Bishan J8 for a fantastic beefnoodle lunch. There, the temptations were too great, and i just had to go back into Popular to see their stock.

Lo and behold (and behold, and behold)! I found a BLUE Chevy Malibu SS!

From a Maisto fanatic's post:

Short story on the Blue Malibu -- This one was a short run in release 1.1 and 1.2 -- The Blue replaced the Silver version during the production run for a short period of time -- Not sure how many were made, but it was a toughie to locate !! -- So far the 3 or 4 that have been reported to have been found on the Boards have all come from the K-Mart Chain ( And/or Sears/K-Mart ) -- Looks more and more like these were only in the cases that went to the K-Marts ( Just a guess on my part !! ) !! -- Trying now to get a little more information from Maisto !!



Blue is the feeling i'd have without this baby...

Who would have thought that POPULAR, of all places, would be my future place of vocation mere obsession??

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:)

Oh, and salsa rocks! Shake shake shake step stomp!

And, check out my classmate Jessica's online shop, Couture Cornucopia, for cheapish bargains on teenage clothes/accessories! (Only reason im doing this is cause i coined the name :P, and i get commissionary lunches)



Fighting off detractors to... Is It Just Me? - The Darkness

20060118

Heaven & Hell

Holy-mode: Activated

Just a few theologically philosophical queries,

What happens if the Bible falls into the hands of aliens/sentient beings not of this Earth? What happens if they are totally self-conscious and aware, AND choose to dedicate their lives to Christianity?

Did God specify that ONLY Man is able to go under his wings, his protection and his tutelage? What would happen if other beings with self-awareness convert? What would happen if they died?

I think that God is not one of exclusivity. I think its us humans that make it so. In effect, humans of past/present/future would ALL be able to find Jesus, as long as they had some mix of control in their lives and faith in what they assay. I think that whatever the state of humans in the future (read: evolution), we are as God intended, and we would still qualify.

Note: I'm trying to find some way for Evolution and Creationism to exist together. See also my theory of an energy-based God and the universe being his self-sustaining machine [as little divine intervention as possible].



ANYWAY, as i speak, my hair is being dyed back to black AGAIN. Stupid 4-minutes-leaving-dye-on didn't work and my black started fading to a (very sexy) brown. Just my luck that the RJ teachers have gone trigger happy with White Slips.

White Slips. Get 4, and you get the Slip.

Oh, and i just met Ka and some cosplayers in Plaza Sing for HOUSE OF THE DEAD 4! It rocks! Uzi SMG with 25 rounds and a shake-to-reload system, combined with literal THRONGS of zombies and undead...

Pure Heaven! (Or should i say hell..?)

Speaking of hell, does trespassing count as a sin? If so, Nick and I are screwed siah... After Saturday's PepperLunch wif Shan/CW, we decided (or rather, I decided) to go down to 33 MacTaggart Road, the headquarters of Lian Thye and Co. They're the importers of Maisto Diecast Cars! WOOAH! Right.

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Lian Thye / "In Case of any lift breakdown during crossover to Y2K, please call..."

Unfortunately, it was closed that day, and since it looked exactly like the abandoned warehouse people wander and get killed in, we decided to investigate!

Its bloody, BLOODY spooky! There were fungal-infested switches that led to 1 blinking fluorescent light, stairwells to nowhere, outdated notices and broken lifts. Then, there were living quarters that looked haunted, and a fleet of ghostly lorries.

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Where this leads, no one knows..

Well, we escaped unscathed, and the security guard didn't even seem to mind those hooligans climbing over the padlocked gate...



After being muchly disappointed by Singapore's Maisto restocks (or lack thereof), I've started collecting 1:87 scale Volkswagons from 'HighSpeed'! They're super tiny and cute ;)

Finally, people who want to NEWYEARCLOTHES shop and play arcade shooting games, give me a ring! Not that i won't be looking around for potential candidates anyway...



Suddenly Black to... L.O.V.E. (remix) - Ashlee Simpson

20060113

Hap Dae Me Me!

Lock your doors and bolt your windows, for the vicious and hopelessly voyeuristic vagabond Dwayne Wang (yes, my name does spoil the alliteration) has become of legal age!

My birthday was on the 8th of Jan, by the way. Thanks to all who bothered to SMS and give presents!

A dissection of the day's harvest:

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Ge: Movies in 15 Minutes, Congren: The Heaven Sword and the Dragon Sabre (O.O), Haoyi/Sher: Enormex the Giant Condom

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LOTS of angpows with LOTS of contents ;)


Pa: Pro Rodz Wave 2 + Playerz Hearts sets! YAY!


Ka: Playerz Ace of Spades Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster red
A Lydia (right?): Ace of Diamonds Mercedes SLR McLaren blue


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Amanda: Snail-mailed Bday card (woah! I thought only insurance agencies do this nowadays...),
Bryan: cK Cologne, Indu: South Indian Scent


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Jeremy: DKNY cologne, EFers: 1:18 scale BMW 645ci

Hmm, people must think i stink badly... 3 different types of cologne O.o

Anyway, i LOVE the car! Thanks for taking the initiative nic/nick, since normally it'd be myself organising the birthday bashes...

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My current favourite car!

For non-physical/non-pictorial gifts:
CW and his treat at Black Canyon Cafe (and to-be Pepper Lunch),
Nicole and her movie/nacho treat :P
Amanda (cosplay) for the Lambo Diablo
Dr Tan for giving me the GOOD CHOLESTEROL RESULTS!

People who say they're getting-me-stuff-and-whom-i-want-their-words-held:
Jessica/Brenda/ErJie/Daryl

THANKS so much all! Birthdays rawk!

Now time to see if anyone suddenly 'remembers' a gift :P



Sniffling a bit to... Little Suzie - Kelis

20060111

Nip Hop

This may be coming a tad late, but here's the summary of my trip to JAPAN over december. No pictures though (or only those that i can scrape from Daryl's blog.



Day 1 (Dec 23rd):
X-mas present-shopping ahoy! Nick and I roamed around town on my final car romp to get presents for the rest of the EFers (Extended Family-ers. Ya lame, i know). Spent lots and lots of $$$ and impulse-bought a new brown sports sling that, unfortunately, everyone thinks is 'unaesthetic'..

Later at the airport, the 28ish of us (EFers) meet up with the other randomms going to Japan with us. Normally, we have these extremely anti-social tendencies towards outsiders coming on trips with us. This time, there was Amanda/Nicholas and the Wen Lungs. We dump our christmas prezzies on the others so that they have to drag it all over the trip *cue evil smile*

Day 2:
Plane ride/Bus-ride/Plane-ride/Bus-ride later, and we've arrived at Niseko! We camp at the lodge a bit, getting our skis and snowboards adjusted. After a fantastic Yakitori (chicken en masse!) dinner, we dissolve into the comfort of the lodge. The boys once again got the lone cabin away from the main lodge, and we meld comfortably into the attic and basement.


Snow big deal/ EFers!

Day 3:
The skiing starts! Fabien, my sis (Ka) and I, being the better-off skiers, head off on our own to explore the reds. Skiing rocks. Parallel skiing ROCKS! Its cool and sleek and suave and graceful and you can spray people with snow. Black Slope Count: 2

Once home, the fully licenced lodge-slacking begins: Ping pong with Linus, pool/airhockey, jamming. Tohsan (the lodgemaster) has one of the FUNNEST basements ever! There's even a bar there to serve underaged kids drinks... Oops.

Day 4:
Entire slopes and runs are closed due to a blizzard. Everyone stays in till 11am (we usually start at 9) before going out for a buffet lunch. Ka and I stay back, of course. Only 2 runs were open. 2 GREEN runs. 2 GREEN runs for every-bloody-body to ski on in horrible weather. Fat chance we're wasting our day skiing with that.

Hence, our day is productively spent lodge-slacking! We slept till 2, went to a nearby SeikoMart to get our lunch (BENTOS!), then talked the rest of the afternoon away in the boys' lodge basement. It was quite amazing getting to know my sis better: we actually talked for 3 hours, oblivious to the others' calls to be let in!

After much scolding, we get down to a sumptuous dinner by Tohsan (aren't they all?). Then, its more pingpong! This time, we tried to mix around with the others more and played with Amanda, WenHao and WenSi. There was even this deluxePong game that we invented, involving both tables and 8(!) players.


(From left:) Ben, Fab, Dar, Amanda, Nicholas

Day 5/6:
My sis and I resume skiing, and decide to take Linus and Shan as our charges to pass on the coveted mantle of 'Prime Parallel Skier". Quite amusing to be the teacher, and quite fun bringing them down Blacks and Reds. Black Count: 3

Ka and I decided to leave the slopes slightly earlier, and since there was no bus to ferry us, we made our own way back. THROUGH 500m of waist-high powder snow. Argh it took us an hour to get back to the lodge, after which we ached to no end.

However, the MASS SNOWBALL FIGHT was scheduled for today, so instead of plopping down in front of the inviting fireplace, we dive immediately into the fray. Ok, so it mostly consisted of tau-pokking and ganging people in the snow. The 20++ of us kids and various adults also had snow-rugby over this huge hill, icicle cracking and potshot-lobbing. WHEE!

Oh and i got ganged 6 times. Bloody got to be the highest e.e. Its almost suffocating to get snow sprayed all over ur face :P

Day 6 sees Me/Ka/Nick/Linus staying back once again to slack :) We spend the afternoon Bento-ing and playing Guillotine, the fantabulous card game.


Day 7:
The last skiing day! Ka and I assay the impossible: Go on every black run on our side of the mountain. The final count? 12 Blacks for me! In case you're wondering, black slopes are the friggin steep (gradient of 40), thick snow/icy/ungroomed/bumpy ones that are recommended for 'Advanced' and above only. My second best achievement this trip!


Ooo

Day 8/9/10, TOKYO!
Roaming in Shibuya, Tokyodome coaster-riding, SHOPPING, staying over at Jeremy's, watching Scary Movie (again :P), eating lots and lots of sexy sexy joh-anago (seasonal eel!) and slacking made this part of the trip almost as sexy as the first. Soon, however, it was homeward bound and school commencement.

SIGH.

Japan, you rock.

America, you rock more!



Reading Saint Legend to... Shooting Stars - Kelis

20060105

Mite I Ask for Your Hand In Marriage?

You are cordially invited to the wedding of DustMike and DustMica.

The ceremony will involve the 2 lovebirds bugs being awfully wed. DustMike belongs to Dwayne, whilst his/its counterpart DustMica is under the care of Serene. Both mites were special, limited edition Osim plushies that required the purchase of $1500 air purifiers (read: more expensive than pure breed Huskies!)

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More allergenic than the dustmites themselves...

Mike, at 2 months of age and already approaching the end of his lifespan, was thrilled by at the prospect of an arranged marriage. "There are just so few other Dustmites out there!" he proclaimed after the couple kissed. Its obvious the couple are feel(er)ing each other!

Before they even met, the pair were violently tossed into Serene's silky bag (yes, the one with mood lighting) and were made to endure a Chemistry lecture. Who knows what special bonds developed there?

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Oops! Is this picture allowed?

Sources have also questioned the hermaphroditic nature of dustmites, wondering whether Mike is really the man of the house. Regardless, both of them will correspondingly change sex depending on the season and whatever love they make will be extremely kinky cute.

ANYWAY, the groom may kiss the bride:

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Muacks!

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Honeymoon to [undisclosed]'s pillow!

Let's hope they live happily ever after. God knows their owners are already being psychologically counselled for trying to marry off insectile inanimatrons.



Aching from the gym to... Daddy - Kelis

20060103

Back to Black!

HELLO! Guess who's back from Japan with lionsuit-clad Koizumis and erotic dice?

Nono, not gayshas, but ME! (Stop trying to figure out the difference)

My hair has reverted to its gross blackness. That's what 4 minutes with black dye does to it e.e. So anticlimatic... At least the sides retain some tints of yellowness.

Bananas rock!

Oh and I just realised that my past few entries have been weak and shoddy. I really can't stand up to myself at my blogging prime.

Doesn't mean i should start now! CYA!

Note: Bday on 8th Jan! *shameless*



Tapping my fingers to... Young, Fresh, New - Kelis