I Am...

I am the guy who was conceived by mistake.

I am the son who made the most noise, got everything he wanted, the way he wanted, and was still unhappy. I am the son who has been much of an ingrate, much of an ignoramus and much of a bastard. I am the son who has been loved, but who has loved back insufficiently.

I am the grandson that has been unfilial, that has been disrespectful and that has snapped at you when you asked if i had eaten. I am the grandson that has weaseled much money out of you. Yet i am the grandson you keep boasting about. I am the grandson who feels guilty, and wishes that he can appreciate you for your remaining years with us, unlike what he did for another.

I am the child who grew attached to you the most, and when you had to leave, was scarred for life and has cloistered himself in ever since. I am the child who enjoyed snuggling and blowing air bubbles into your stomach. I am the child who was spoiled into being a corpulent know-it-all by you. I am the child that is now an expert at hiding his feelings, the child that can now be no longer called one.

I am the child that found God through your leave. I am the child that found newfound friends through religion, and by jove, what good friends these are. I am the child that self-reformed for your memory, to emulate all that you stood for.

I am the child whom you left familial hypercholesterolemia, detected at the tender age of 16. I am the hypochondriac that cannot bear to be anything less than perfect. I am the hypochondriac that discovered the beauty of vegetables and Subway thanks to your parting gift.

I am the child most calculative. The child supposedly out of his teenage angst, which he was never in in the first place. I am the child who has been scolded for being 'gei kiang' multiple times, even when i was correct. I am the child who has written poetry for your birthday, whom has always remembered birthdays and presents.

I am the brother who kept sneaking into your room without your permission, fueling the feud that still exists a decade later. I am the brother who grudgingly respects you. I am the brother that wishes the best for you, that wishes for you to be successful and happy, but knows that you are not. I am the brother that misses playing softtoys with you.

I am the guy that still sleeps with softtoys (5). I am the guy that needs 13 assorted sleeping aids. I am the Christian that prays to sleep every night, with the line 'a peace that transcends all understanding', so that his fears and failures would not prod at him.

I am the cousin that has been so abusive, so evil. I am the cousin that has been forgiven, without a grudge held. I am the cousin that is now so appreciative of your presence.

I am the friend that has no time, that has been too lazy or that has been too tau and cliqueish. I am the friend that has been generous, only to be taken advantage of. I am the friend that is sarcastic, witty and funny, but never together. I am the friend that enjoys putting others down to artificially inflate himself. I am the friend that wants you to know that you are so much better. I am the friend whom once made, will be forever loyal provided contact is maintained. I am the friend who has tried to reinvent, to be more sociable.

I am the friend who helps whenever he can volunteeringly. I am the friend who will sacrifice to an extent. I am the friend who will send you care packages, hoping for some form of recognition.

I am the true friend to at least one, my pet.

I am the owner that has no time for you. I am the owner who loves you very much, who wishes he could just let himself loose and get dirty. I am the owner who wants to just sit down and hug you for the entire day and lavish you with treats. I am the owner who looks at you tethered to the corner, pities you, then returns to the air-con to blog.

I am the blogger who wanted to be famous. I am the blogger who has been writing with an audience in mind, who wants your criticisms and compliments. I am the blogger who wishes to get attention, however controversially. I am the blogger who 'writes well', yet feels that he is too pretentious at times. I am the blogger that is dismayed by the lack of fame attained, the lack of fame sustained.

I am the blogger who wants to see people laugh. I am the blogger who lives to entertain, and entertains to live. I am the blogger who wants to chronicle his works so that he may enjoy it in the future. I am the blogger deemed the 'Hunkiest', to many people's dismay. I am the blogger who has learned his lesson, but still keeps wanting to get burned.

I am the son whom you thought was gay, the nephew you thought was bulimic, the person whom you thought was superficial. I am the friend you thought was buaya, the classmate you thought overate, the person who was deep deep down. I am the guy you thought was cute, the guy you thought was ugly. I am the friend you felt betrayed by in your most dire times of need, the friend you felt was there for you. I am the guy you thought had loose morals, and yet was rigidly upright. I am the person to go for all things 'academic', and that only. I am the guy that wants you to want him for something more.

I am the guy you know deep down.

I am...



Kopping the template from tomorrow.sg to... My Chrome - Killer Mike