Team Spirit Haunting Me

I just had this fantastic revelation today that i was positively SUCKY at team games O.o

Its like, my soccer, basketball, rugby, volleyball (i hope not) are all CRAP! I mean, its not that i'm not a team player, but then i refuse to take charge/responsibility and excel, instead shrugging off as much as i possibly can and hum jeeing in a corner, letting others play the game for me. Its like some self-imposed power dampener aka X-Men. I either just don't have the confidence to score, or have this immense fear of letting team-mates down (hence the MASSES of 'sorry's i spew).

That, or my hideous passion for perfection has led me to simply abandon and attempt to avoid any chance of failure.

I fumble with soccer, alot. Never chase the soccer ball. In vball leave all the digging to someone else whenever possible. Stand uselessly in a corner just *attempting* to block another player in basketball. The list goes on and on. I guess i just kinda suck at team games O.o

TODAY I CHANGE THAT!
GOING TO BE MORE ENTHUSIASTIC AND FAILURE-ACCEPTING

Or at least, will devoutly *attempt* to.

On the other hand, solo/duo undertakings i am definitely more superb in. Take table tennis, in 6 months became moderately pro, as was for badminton. In chess i defeated my Senior International Master of a father, earning a cool $500 last year. In sports such as running, skiing, pullups etc all above average (not haolianing siah). Then academically, soooo much easier to study alone, do homework/blog entries/write poems alone. Solitaire pwns my empty shell of a life.

Stupid lack of balance existence. BAH. Changing as of tomorrow.



Shakin' ma ass to... Whatever You Want - Christina Milian ft Joe Budden