(Insert Name of Rambling Complaint Entry)

There is this bloody disgusting person, (insert letters name), in (insert activity). (insert name) has this huge attitude problem that makes him appear scary and unapproachable. He may be good at (insert activity), but the way he carries himself about just negates any positive aspect about him, typifying the (insert alma mater) spirit ghoul about him.

(Insert date), for instance, he was being a bloody selfish and exclusive bitch. He refused to let (insert blogger) do ANYTHING in the (insert activity). Although aforementioned blogger is quite lousy in (insert activity), even a chance might have resulted in something better than him always mis-shooting in (insert activity).

I don't get how somebody like him can ever survive in the world. Who would remotely want to befriend him, just to be downgraded to his status? Who would want to be with him and constantly be on the receiving end of murderous stares and hateful insinuations?

All people with attitude problems should just die.

Of course that would mean me dying some horrible death too...



Playing with various TOFU-MEN to... And Then We Kiss (Junkie XL Remix) - Britney Spears

Harry Potter and the Preposterous Subtitle

To enjoy a good movie, watch Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. To enjoy a good spoof, turn on the subtitles of any pirated less original version.

Dumbledore on the House system:
"Your tramps will earn you points!"

"Griffindor, Afapaff, Ravenclaw and Slitertit..."

Snape questioning Harry:
"What is the difference between monkey wood and wolf beam?"

Quirrel warning the Halloween feasters:
"Trog is in the dungeon!"

McGonagall praising Harry and Ron for defeating the 'trog':
"... for shared dump luck!"

Hagrid warning the kids not to be nosy:
"You're mad and things you're not meant to be mad in"

Harry examining the Invisibility Cloak:
"Its some kind of croak"

"the Mirror of Araset"

Hagrid and his English colloquialisms
"Blind me, you still don't like him!"

Hagrid commenting on Norbert, the Norweigean Ridgeback:
"its a Novigem Witch Bat!"

Hagrid on the 'trick with any beast being to calm it":
"the trade with any beast is to no comment"

Voldemort complaining about his state of life:
"Live on another human's back side"



Never seeing Harry the same way again to... Everytime (Valentin Remix) - Britney Spears

The Update to End All Updates... Almost.

I so don't know where to start, so i'll start with 'I so don't know where to start'.

O.o the paradox.

Life has been good of late. Packed life, spending $$, getting certain organs broken and repaired...

J1 December holidays. An almost-defining moment in one's love life. Where else, for guys, is there an opportunity to mindlessly pursue the fairer sex. There have been so many successes, so many backfires amongst friends. I pity the poor people who're now heartbroken. I pity the poor people who're now shackled. (LOL 'who are' is compressed into 'whore').

Girls spend their money on shopping. Guys spend their money on girls. Feminists ought to do something about it...

Since returning from M'sia, there has been brooding and complaining, rejoicing and boozing. There have been revelations and elation, depression and repression...

The church DotA team (essentially the regular DotA'ers save CW) PWNED another cell's team yesterday. We RAWK! To any and all potential enemies, WE >>>> J00!

I haven't bought a Maisto car in 2 weeks! Whoever's interested in toy car shopping , please contact me NOW! (Not you CW, you just want an excuse to Pepper e.E)

I have, however, bought Britney Spear's 'B in the Mix', a collection of song remixes. OMFG its so bloody good! Its like Britney on crack. Oh wait, she already is... Ok maybe Britney on crack AND wasabi. Talk about amping up what were club hits already.

Finally, to you, are you just agreeing because its awkward and isn't nice to say 'no'?



Rubbing my sore throat to... Me Against the Music (Justice Remix) - Britney Spears

I Don't Know...

I don't know what i'm getting myself into...
I don't know what i'm attempting to do...
I don't know what got into the normally reserved and un-rash me...
I don't know what's happening around now...

I don't know whether i'm giving people the correct story...
I don't know whether i'm clinging on to false hope...
I don't know whether i'm ready to keep my end of the bargain...
I don't know whether i can get through this unscathed...

I don't know why I let myself get misled...
I don't know why i'm so affected by this particular one...
I don't know why i sacrifice good friends for other good friends...
I don't know why i'm not in control this time...

I don't know when i started screwing things up...
I don't know how to overcome my psychotism...
I don't know where i stand on things anymore...
I don't know what i did to deserve a life like this...
Both sides of the coin.

I don't know who I am anymore.

But not knowing is nice once in a while.



Digesting some Bailey-booze to... Signs - Justin Timberlake

...

Alanis Morisette's 'Head Over Feet'

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

(chorus)
You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

(repeat chorus)

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

(repeat chorus)

---

Putting... Head Over Feet - Alanis Morisette on replay

If YOU are Reading This...

Just go with the flow for what happens tomorrow :)



Feeling mighty nervous to... My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

Gallivant of the Genting-Goer

16th Nov
I hastily packed my bag in fervent anticipation of that night's activities, tossing in many an unwanted and unnecessary item. Several classmates, a random girl (HI ANGELINE!) and I were due for the long bus-trip down (or up) to Genting for a 3D2N stay.

The ride up was uneventful (unlike if it were a pants ride up), and as is normal with all Malaysian services, the bus broke down a mere 2 hours away from Singapore. This time round, however, we had to wait only 2 hours before the replacement bus came. *mind flashes back to 9-hour wait for bus on Titi farmstay*

17th Nov
We arrived at the ceremonious time of 6AM, when all rides/stores/attractions were fantastically closed. We dallied around in the cili weather before the amusement park finally opened at 8am.


Hotel First World (in a third world country, no less)
We picked up our 2-Day All Parks passes and hopped into the Bumper Cars 4 times straight, thanks to the lack of a queue. After this, it was a whirlwind of roller-coasters, drops and swing things throughout. 11 ringgit even managed to lure Harry Potter into our minds!

Then there was bowling (which i got lik, 54 for my first game) and crapping around in the room. Please do not ask for any funky dance moves i may or may not have made.


Congren & I, Tim & Haoyi

Pam, Half of me/ Congren/Sherilyn
I actually brought my handphone along simply to serve as my camera. The total lack of pictures tells you how well and fully it was used E.E. Furthermore, 3/4 of the pictures/videos the others took are completely UNBECOMING of me. Uggh gross.

18th Nov
Besides us being extremely productive and waking up at 12pm, we were also extremely healthy in eating Baskin Robbins/Macs/Marrybrowns 24-7. We went about shopping and i exhausted my reserves of ringgit buying random gifts for random people.

The highlight, however, was BOWLING. This time, only me/sher/pam wanted to bowl. I beat her score in the first game, and she beat me in the second. Discontented with being thrashed so badly on the last game, i suggested a deciding round, such that the loser would pay for the game.

It was a close fight, but i eventually PWNED (amazingly/surprisingly/WTFly) with 165, 3 strikes, 5 spares, yada yada. Poor Sherilyn. And she got stuck with HY somemore. HAHAHA

Joking joking!

19th Nov
Homeward bound! The bus ride was full of crapping, sleeping and eating. I bought these extremely funky tau sah thingums that are the BEST in the world. Oh, and i got shades, just to warn you in advance.


Sher/Pam, Angeline, Terminator/Congren
It's all been whimsically peaceful since :)



Digging my ears orgasmically to... Girlfriend - 'N Sync

Who Knew New News?

The past few days have been a whirlwind of celebratory jubilation!

In the past week alone, there was the whole fiasco about fickle friends freaking, Ben's birthday on Wednesday, visiting Rilong on Friday and Saturday's shopping spree-ing (whee!). There were movies, churchies, a new obsession, the PW oral presentation, the Pizza Hut TV commercial shoot. There was my dyed hair, the revelations of potentially packed processes in my life, Jia Yan's class performance...

Whoa. Its no wonder i have no time to blog, yet alone blog as concisively as before. I guess there's an inverse relationship between having a life, and having a life online. Looks like i'm deviating towards the former :P

In all that fun, i've realised that some old things never die, and some new things should dye all the more.
I've discovered whom i really like, and am wondering aloud whether she returns the favour. Its so amazing that it takes a trip around the block just to see who's really been there for you.
I've been hit with the news of Volleyball being 8 times a week (Mon/Wed/Fri double trainings, Tue/Thur single) while simultaneously juggling the Rated Artistic Magazine's website and Orientation reporting.

Then, i have my trip to Genting tomorrow to look forward to. 3 days of pure, unadulterated bliss (albeit some romantic politics among others o.O). There's training in the morning at the same time as Orientation reporting meeting. Also, i have to find a way to get down to Chinatown station in the evening AND change SGD to ringgit.

Instead of organising my mind properly, the euphoria of finally feeling at peace with the world just results in massive SUDOKUs, of which i bought a $10 collection to assay. Sigh.

To that special one: If you're reading this and you know its you, i'll get you something nice from Genting!

I think i have to get EVERYONE something nice from Genting...

Who was the genius who decided to call this period of time 'holidays'??

Oh ya, if i go back to school like that, i 'dye' liao...


This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!


Tapping my fingers to... Can You Feel the Love Tonight - Elton John

Out With the Old...

Guess who's undergone a partial makeover?

No, not Anna Nicole Smith, although she really needs one.

Okay, i have got to stop using this lame joke set-up as an entry introduction, but...

ME!

Yesterday, i went on a massive shopping spree with the ever-lovely Nicole (not Anna, you idiots), of EFers fame. She kindly agreed after i told her it was paternally-sponsored (read: p³ paying for all). With many new things to purchase in mind, we met up at Lido in the evening and commenced to bring in the New.

An excruciating Topman/surfshops/77th Street/The Wallet Shop later, we both plopped down with our dinner, content and exhausted from the enervating act of shopping.

Wallet from the Wallet Shop: $39.95


Where's Wallet?

Clothes by Quiksilver: $138.00


Naked human body not included.
Abercrombie & Fitch Cap: $29.90


Abucrombie? Abuden?
Ripcurl Slippers: $19.90


She let Rip a blood-Curling fart... (not because it's ugly)
Oh, and before i forget (please, i've tried too hard already), my hairstyle change!


Ghost #2
Funky/Gross New Hairstyle: Priceless.

---

In case you're wondering why i deserved this spending spree, take note of the fact that i haven't gotten new Chinese New Year clothes the past 6 years... This is me reclaiming my birthright, baby!



Being smitten by Anna to... All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow

Dustus Mitus

"Hello, I am but an innocent dog!" *acts cute*


"Heh whereas I, Dustus Mitus, am anything but innocent! I crave blood!!"


"AHA! An innocent canine! Just what the doctor ordered!" *prepares to pounce*


"WROARR!" (note how difficult it was to actually get a pic of airborne Mitus)


"Aha! Happy and contented suckling my new bitch"

---

Huh, What's that you say? Dust mites aren't bloodthirsty creatures that maliciously infest and leech off other animals? Household dust mites aren't physically comparative in size to normal dogs? Dust mites don't use their antennae as probosci for BLOOD?

Damn.

Ah dustmites have been so evil to me anyway, it's up to me on how i want to portray them. Besides, them being evil just makes them soooo much cuter. Agree?



Feeling extremely random to... Shut Up Bitch - Lil Kim

False Halal-arm

Ok, ignore the last two entries. I'm over it. Its uncharacteristic of me to be emo and sad.

And, HAP DAE YOU YOU Ben!

Also, my sister managed to get me a Dust Mite Plushie, limited ed from OSIM (read: it comes free with an air purifyer). Yes, this WAS the same dust mite i was caught trying to steal while in my school uniform at Junction 8...



Prepping for DotA to... Kiss - Tom Jones

Mizundastood

I HATE it when misunderstandings occur.

They ruin many a good friendship, many a good relationship and many a good marriage.

They cause devastating wars to break up. Everything gets veiled in confusion and everyone gets hurt. Sometimes, it may be amusing. Sometimes.

I HATE myself for being so thick-headed. Why did i have to care? Why did i have to worry for her safety? Why did i have to irritatingly ask and ask when she was in obviously no mood to talk?

And you all know how much i cannot stand being ignored. When her responses thinned and trickled to nothingness, why did i have to call? Why did i have to even care?

Why did i have to portray myself as needy and leeching (or lecherous)?

I just wanted a friend. She's got so many, i've got so many. Maybe we don't need each other.



Removing all links with her to... Spanish Guitar - Toni Braxton

Friendship?

Friendship?

Eager, desperate, enthused
When chance gave me your number.
Bewildered, befuddled, bemused
When SMSes you replied faster.

While in conversation so absorbed,
While as a courier so ignored,
I stubbed, I fell.
Was it all for you?

We share the same interests
In dogs, in cars, in junk.
In you there's much interest,
Your quirk, your shine, your funk.

All i wanted was your friendship,
Don't tell me you would even take that...

---

Romantically regurgitating and ruminating to... Kitty Box - Lil Kim

Cash Machine

Q: What do you call a person who spends $200++ the past week, and forgets what he spent it on?

A: Dwayne!

---

My father ought to be proud of this moment. I'm finally growing up to be more like my elder siblings! I'm finally living up to their reputations! I'm spending more than i get!

On a typical day now several realities away (woo the rhyme scheme!), I would be the thrifty one that sits at home all day gaming. I would be the one who hoardes all the cash in anticipation of the 3% yearly interest as provided by my father.

Typically, I have 2 major sources of income: Allowance and Rewards.

Allowance being the constant (and measly) $50 a week, and rewards ranging from $20-$100 per academic A.

This was more than enough to tide me by in ACS(I), where it was so deceptively easy to top the standard and get even more monetary incentives. That or it could be that i had no life then, and hence no lifestyle to upkeep. I also had 8 subjects that were impossibly hard not to get an A1 in (the other 2 being Chinese and Higher Chinese... *shudders*).

However, there are a mere 6 subjects now. One being Chinese, which i'm happy to scrape by and i'm even happier is over. Another is GP, which has a marking scheme more ambiguous than the Red Indians and their face painting.

The other 4, you say, should be a piece of delicious and chocolate-y cake for me. You MUST be forgetting about my cholesterol condition here. Chem/Phys are avian-appendages, but Maths this year i've started to dislike whilst I haven't the resolve to be mesmerised by Biology.

That results in a mere 3 As this year as compared to the last! 3!! 3!! WARGH. Even the common tests are much more uncommon now. Add into that my malingering self...

Less Income + More Expenditure = BANKRUPT

*cue deflated balloon sound from Wheel of Fortune*

---

Sigh, let me attempt to dissect last week's spending:

• Maisto Toy Cars: 4 x $5.00 = $20
  
  Playerz packaged protectively.
• Lil Kim's "The Naked Truth": $20
  
  Sexy ladies, going crazy!
• Movies: Dreamship Surprise, Sky High = $17
• Pepper Lunch ($15) + Subway ($5) + Marche ($17) + Newsroom Bar ($17) + Cartel ($12) = $56
• Play ($7) + Flowers ($15 + $4) = $26
• LANning = $10
• Random drinks + dinners: $20++
• Cabbing (OMFG MOST UNWORtH-IT): $13
  

TOTAL WALLET-COMBUSTION: $182++

Conclusion: Become a hermit the next 2 week to recoup.

Now you know why i wanted a job so desperately.



De-popping my flu-riddled ears to... Whoa - Lil Kim

Scabby/Naughty/Bitchy

Scabby:

The particularly injurious month of October has resulted in me sporting these sexy scars throughout my body.

Missy Higgins, Papa Roach and The Red Hot Chilli Peppers have saluted its presence! SCARS are in fashion, haven't you heard? Ok maybe only in Nazi Germany and Iraq...


My foot's growing some stubble...
If only the 24th chromosome from that horrendous(ly stupid) show Doom were existent. Who wouldn't want to heal 50 times faster!? I would so adopt strategic scarring as bodily decorations!


Scared? Scarred.

I've been spending the past few days peeling scabs. Haven't gotten such fully-fledged injuries in so long that i forgot how fun it was to eat them! They also make extremely good projectiles for biological/psychological warfare...

You can even see my new tanline from the scar's new skin!

---

Naughty:

Corn Cobs + Pom Pom flowers en masse to beg someone's forgiveness? Forget it.

I'm never buying flowers again anymore.

I held the bouquet of corn behind me while she cautiously approached. I tried to make it obvious that i was carrying a huge bundle of flowers for her. As she neared, i bent down on one knee, and romantically coo'ed "Would you formally forgive me?" as i handed her the corn.

Whee. I'm so lame. Corn is so cooool. Non-edible though. Speaking too fast. Nervous? Possibly.

Anyway, she didn't get as hyped up as i thought, so the Pom Poms didn't have the effect of saving the day. Turned out that Pom Poms were funeral flowers, as pointed out by another friend...

The effect was there though, don't you agree, Mrs Mystery?

---

Bitchy:

Guess who's been propositioned by a scout for some modelling agency?

No, not Lee Kuan Yew. He's too hairy and wrinkled for God's sake.

ME ME ME! And Nick, while we were roaming Orchard last week. I really didn't expect that weird woman who took down our names and numbers to have come from this seemingly low-rate 'Create Talents' freelance agency.

When they called, i was so shocked by the offer that i immediately declined. However, thanks to Ernest's convincing (and the promise of easier $), i decided to ring back and inquire its details. In the end, after 51361276 calls to change the times here and there like some indecisive himbo (waitaminute...), our interview is set for sometime tomorrow afternoon.

Wah guess you'll be seeing me in those Oxy and Slim10 advertisements. You know, the 'Before' segment?


Definitely can pimp some goods...



Digesting Marche from 410 class gathering to... Gimme That - Lil Kim ft Maino

Tan-lines

I have 9 tanlines on my body.

3 from t-shirt [2 hands, 1 neck], 2 from my socks, and 4 for my *ahem* groin region cause i was wearing different sized skimpy thongs attire for the tanning.

Really forgot how tough volleyball training could be! We did from 1 to 5:30 pm today in the blazing hot sun, and i had only breakfast in my stomach to placate my senses.

After that, i zoomed to Yoshi with Congren for some dinner, and then went back to school for the drama night play 'THREESOME', which was rather thought-provoking and funny.

With two-thirds of it done, i cheonged off at intermission and went down to ENV whereby a karaoke/badminton/birthday thing was going on among the EFers. I sang 'Billie Jean' and pwned all.

Now, it's off to DotA with some random friends.

Hua, it feels so good to have a completely packed lifestyle. Friends here, friends there. Clubbing Roaming around here, lunching there. Lunches and dinners, shopping and training. LANning and planning, projects and exams.

HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE ROCKS!

Note: Pardon the rushed entry. DotA NOWW



Rasping my throaty gasp to... Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

Yad eht fo sekoY, Part 6

YES! It's yet another Yoke of the Day recap! I can practically hear the cheering from here. In front of my computer. Before this thing is published. Before you have any knowledge that i'm writing it. It's just that highly anticipated!

Riiight. In case you're some newbie to the website (not Nubi, mind you. He's laid his paws everywhere already), YotDs are essentially a not-so-daily updated column on the right hand side that contains a random musing or amusing randoms.

Anyway, today's bunch range from July 16th to somewhere midway in September.

---

• Harry, i am your FATHER! (Trust that Jen to perversify Harry Potter. This was just after the weekend book #6 was released, and he was trying to figure out the surprise plot twist. This one involved Dumbledore saying the aforementioned)
  
• Help! I can't sustain my election! (The name of my first article for RA Mag! It has officially been passed by the teachers and should hit stands sometime early next year)
  
• Think out of the confines, of the box that is your mind (Wah sometimes i amuse myself. This statement can SO be made into some poppy song)
  
• Hello! This is M.I.A (Quoth MIA herself in 'Amazon', where she's being held ransom. She's a Sri Lankan rapper, btw)
  
• Chip off the old Blog (Enjoy the pun. The very gross pun. The very gross pun that i thought of in school and made it a point to remember for the particular purpose of Yoke)
  
• The snake he was drawing has become a millipede... (There's this chinese cheng yu: hua se tian zu, meaning to add feet onto the snake you're drawing. Essentially 'being extra' for the aristocrats who don't have to learn peasantly Chinese. In this case, it means being extremely, extremely extra)
  
• Scroll Cap Num, Num Cap Scroll (The keyboards in the computer lab have these lights that turn on and off whenever you hit the Scroll, Cap and Num lock keys. In a fit of boredom, Congren/Me/Rilong were pressing them in this order to watch the flashy lights go on and off)
  
• 55 (My score for some random thing)
  
• Old Schoolmate Candidates (I was trying to find this weird spammer on my blog who appeared to know quite a bit about me. Sooo irritating)
  
• The voyeur in me wants me to rip off my skin (HAHA! The imagery...)
  
• Don't trouble Trouble till Trouble troubles you. (Wordplay. Notice the word 'trouble' appears 4 times. Weeha.)
  
• Purp is a tker (I'm usually purple whenever we DotA, and this time i was playing the Bane Elemental. Bane has a spell which puts anyone to sleep, damaging them over time. In bouts of selfishness, I randomly sleep my allies to let them die save them)
  
• MOST OF MY POETRY, ok, BLOG, IS DONE IN JEST! (I found out from Ben that Jon Ng discovered my 'BB Boys' entry and was somewhat fuming over it)
  
• STOP INTERRUPTI... (ng me! Failed, btw)
  
• Unleash the Porn-star in you! (Yes, yes. Let's!)
  
• OLDIE YotDs link below! (in this box lah, you blindtards) (I had just finished making the YotD content page haha. Deja vu alert!)
  
• Tripta is trippin! (Mentioning random readers of my blog)
  
• HELLO YIMING! i'm mentioning you! (Ditto above. Contents of mentioning are questionable.)
  
• Superficialfragelistic XP ally docile (Statement to be said whenever you suddenly receive a lot of experience points in DotA :P)
  
• We can call it the "funky elf"! (ALF! ALF rocks! He was referring to this dance that he invented)
  
• Pour a little 1, 6-Dichloro-1, 6-dideoxy-beta-D-fructofuranosyl-4-chloro-4-deoxy-alpha-D-
  galactopyranoside on it, baby (Quoth Discover magazine in an article about artificial sweeteners. Haha a classic. Not Coke though)
  
• RED SHIRRRT! (John from church, if you're reading this, WEAR SOMETHING DIFFERENT PLEASE!)
  
• Reading comical comic reads (Wordplay! Wah you'd think i prefer words to fores)
  

---

John Lennon has his Yoko Ono, I have my Yoke-o, Day-old.



From Zorro to Hero to... Walking on the Sun - Smash Mouth