The Science of OLJ
Late last night, Nick and i discovered a suspiciously transparent liquid that innocently appeared to have the facade of a 'rice vinegar' bottle. Upon first whiff, we immediately recognised it as the extra ingredient my grandmother sneaks into her shampoo, resulting in a pungent and sour odour that packs a punch to one's nose, literally.
Dubbing it 'OLJ' or 'Old Lady Juice', we went and performed a series of experiments involving it and ancient hair gels reminiscent of a golden (coloured) age... for my 27 year old brother O.o
Upon mixing the two potent and putrid reagents, a jelly-like white precipate formed between the layers in contact. Of course, we kept one gel container as the control while bombarding the others with common toiletries such as baby powder, toothpaste and Benedictine D.O.M (hey can't help it if my occasionally reticent grandma likes to gargle some alcoholic drink before she sleeps o...O)
Worst of all, the torrid stench that comes with dangerous unsupervised experiments such as these stays around forever. A menacing cloud of the stench is now plaguing my toilet, and its impossible to piss while holding your breath (try it!).
Both of us eventually resolved to replace all our verbal and typed "omg"s with "olj"s as a form of exclaimation. So don't be alarmed when octogenarian liquids are mentioned mid-convo out of the blue, its just us being lame literal scientists O.o!
Riiiiite.
Not that any of you really care, but I can't eat any commestibles once again. Anything that requires my tongue to move (including all forms of swallowing and spitting) will cause the swollen and white ulcer to brush against my teeth. I solemnly swear i heard my tongue declaring that it would bring me more pain than my teeth... Well, that seems to be the case now... ARRGHH the anguish!
Maybe the magical healing properties of the OLJ can be put to good use on my poor, abused tongue (hey my perfectly healthy grandmother has been using it since the age of the dinosaurs, and it has no adverse effects save for the malodorous smell)... Hmmm. Sounds like a worthy SRP project.
Smelling smelly smells to... You Had Me - Joss Stone
Dubbing it 'OLJ' or 'Old Lady Juice', we went and performed a series of experiments involving it and ancient hair gels reminiscent of a golden (coloured) age... for my 27 year old brother O.o
Upon mixing the two potent and putrid reagents, a jelly-like white precipate formed between the layers in contact. Of course, we kept one gel container as the control while bombarding the others with common toiletries such as baby powder, toothpaste and Benedictine D.O.M (hey can't help it if my occasionally reticent grandma likes to gargle some alcoholic drink before she sleeps o...O)
Worst of all, the torrid stench that comes with dangerous unsupervised experiments such as these stays around forever. A menacing cloud of the stench is now plaguing my toilet, and its impossible to piss while holding your breath (try it!).
Both of us eventually resolved to replace all our verbal and typed "omg"s with "olj"s as a form of exclaimation. So don't be alarmed when octogenarian liquids are mentioned mid-convo out of the blue, its just us being lame literal scientists O.o!
Riiiiite.
Not that any of you really care, but I can't eat any commestibles once again. Anything that requires my tongue to move (including all forms of swallowing and spitting) will cause the swollen and white ulcer to brush against my teeth. I solemnly swear i heard my tongue declaring that it would bring me more pain than my teeth... Well, that seems to be the case now... ARRGHH the anguish!
Maybe the magical healing properties of the OLJ can be put to good use on my poor, abused tongue (hey my perfectly healthy grandmother has been using it since the age of the dinosaurs, and it has no adverse effects save for the malodorous smell)... Hmmm. Sounds like a worthy SRP project.
Smelling smelly smells to... You Had Me - Joss Stone
Came, Saw and Conquered by dw 11:02 AM
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