Pleo-Nasty

Pleonastic

adjective: repetition of same sense in different words.
Eg. Smart Dwayne, handsome Dwayne... Disillusioned Dwayne

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O.o i got a whole bunch of referrals from a plethora of very very un-english blogs. There must be a gaggle of people being bored to death (not by Forbidden Frankenstein's ...), and are hence blog hopping using the spastic Next Blog function.

Who needs to go to any other blog when there's THIS? Waah Masterpiece Rhythm and Gangsta liaos... Although without that function, weird random people wouldn't be able to find (and hence propagate) my blog ;D

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Yesterday, Haoyi commented that I had good FALSETTO CONTROL! I am anchored feet first in the swampy dilemma on whether to take that as a compliment. We were all singing (or screeching) a variety of MJ songs while lining up for yong tau foo, you see (or rather, hear).

It CAN be a good thing, considering all male solo star chart success seems to be directly proportional to the octave of their singing.

Plot the graph, get a straight line, measure its gradient. You get the Falsetty O's Constant.


Notice it starts at origin.
A la Alien, "At zero octave, no one can hear you scream."

There's a reason why MJ, Usher, JT and the Darkness have gotten more than their allotted 15 minutes of fame. Their superb use of Supersonic must also be confusing the radio-listening public enough to buy their records (me included).

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Speaking of Supersonic, the Pokemon anime series (currently at Advanced Challenge), is the epitomy of rehash and recycling. So much so that the ENV has GOT to go and steal some of their ideas to boost the 3 Rs.

There are many moral issues concerning this particular anime's values. Its targeted age group is for the majority of people playing Pokemon, which range includes those aged 8 to 17 (wahaha the only '17' being me).

Firstly, there is Team Rocket and their affinity for cross-dressing. By 'affinity' i actually mean 'lusty penchant and uncontrollable urge'. Jesse at least remains in feminine garb most of the time. James, however, masterfully manipulates EVERY situation into an opportunity to be a transvestite.
Pretending to be royalty, James dons a queen's guise (no coincidence, i'll bet). Pretending to be beach-goers, James slips into a 2 piece bikini set (no kidding!). Pretending to not be Team Rocket, James prances around like a schoolgirl in what else, a schoolgirl's uniform.

Its lik, UGGHs.

Secondly, Brock and his insatiable thirst for the countless Officer Jennys and other peripheral calafares (which occasionally include, no less, James in disguise).

By Jove, he is hornier than a 4-headed triceratops caught in a freak accident with a horde of horned toads.


Ho-ennwood Squares (sexplicit)

In today's episode alone, his lecherousness towards this chio aromatherapy woman had to be forcefully curbed by this small boy 7 times! Don't worry, the small boy only prevented his lust, and did not actually cure it. If that were the case, Pokemon Advanced Challenge would be off the TV faster than that Gurmit Singh flop 'Brothers 4' (read: in a record time!).

Finally, the main team includes 3 guys and 1 girl, all in their teens, travelling alone over LONG distances just to fulfil some inane goal. This spells only 1 thing: R-A-P-E. That or kinky sex involving Pokemon...

Okaaay. Officially reading too far into this lame series.

Considering it was meant to entertain, made by the most sexually-repressed nationality and drawn in the way of Hentai, i'm sure there's NOTHING morally wrong with Pokemon.



I Choose You, Growing on Me - The Darkness

I Need to be A-Mused

Slept for the past hour, only to be awakened by my grandmother's ubiquitously pwning MANGO PUDDING! OMG so sexy... So delectable... So sensuous

So full.

Shits my diet is not going to plan in any foreseen way. ARRGH. Looks like my appetite will have to make like a deliquent and get locked up.

SEX

Supposed to sell me something. I'm bored, verily and am going to sleep at the (un)earthly hour of 9:40 on a saturday.

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What is the whole point?
And yet the solution lies
Within a Haiku.

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Doing the Mango to... Friday Night - The Darkness

Pimp My Blog

All you sneaky peoples reading this blog in subterfuge and secrecy, i command (or rather, implore) you to make yourselves known!

This plea has already been racketed to death though, and it looks like i'll have to get personal to generate comments:

To...

Pa: Don't think you know me after reading this blog, and don't go around making this big coolio foolio out of me. Also, reading my blog does NOT substitute time talking to me (although all teenagers would rather their parents don;'t talk to them period). *threatens to paste patriach's very private blog link*

Pa's stupid friend: GO AND DIE! Don't critique my taste in music when i'm sure you're either one of those alt-rockers or punk kiahs. I simply put the more 'poppy' and connectable tunes under my song for the day.

EFers Adults: READ MY BLOG! (of course, if they weren't reading in the first place, i'm not sure how they would have gotten that message...)

Daryl: Thx thx for pimping my blog siahs! Btw, what happened with what Virtuosos shit? Sounds like a very mucky quagmire you're stuck in... Need to read more between the lines at your blog liaos.

Random other EFers: I still need a conversation among us as a blog entry. Our randomness PWNz! Forbidden Frankenstein not inclusive.

Jeremy: Your standard of sarcasm is sooooo supra! I mean, how the HELL does one go about living in his own personal aura of caustic sarcasm like that??? They should ban you from society due to the sarcastic poison you excrete as easily as sweat! Example seen VERY clearly in his blog. Aiyah, just playing the jester here. You're the bestest best friend in the world, even if you have me replaced already!

3Ners:
Jen, have a good time studying overseas! I would never say it to your face because doing that will so-called 'confirm' your actions of leaving. Can't bear to lose such an interesting and fun friend! Prolong Jeneration Max ah!
Pam, you ARE my god-sent friend! True to the very end and in my PW group and House even! Help me with running for house comm arh. RAWRS!
Haoyi, continue being my very affable associate! Buaya buayi buaya buayi (to the power of a gajillion). Attraxing all the girls NOW! Wah today's fluid overdose was deathly sickening (imagine a banana milkshake followed by chocolate milk tea w/ pearls after a very solid lunch, only that it was TRUE!). There is NOTHING between me and *information censored by FBI* lah!

Vballers:
Chongyi: Aay fellow felon Cowboy! When Jen leaves, we must remain good friends also arh! And your blog, update more!
Zhi Hao: B-T buddy! We need to go and document all the flavours we've tried before and go and explore the new random ones like loverfruit green tea (not professing any same-sex love here, you miscreants!) O.o

Old skool frens:
I betcha didn't know i was such a crazy blogger right? (RIGHT??) What with being such a stoic 'mugger' in class and finishing all my homework before even stepping into my house... Link me! I will remember you...

Phantoms of my Opera:
To all you random weird people who come to this blog via the klarissas or the bentays (the more famouse ones to be exact), AT LEAST COMMENT OR SOMETHING. My tagboard won't bite. It only delivers the small sensuous nip...

And finally,
Ernest: Go away, there's nothing for you.

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Note: this was the facade for what i do NOT want to actually tell people face to face. Read it and WEEP! Moisten those computer-tired eyes and prevent myopia!
For one and all, don't be offended and CONTINUE READING!!! <-- (in large font for the myopics)



Tapping in the toilet to... Love On the Rocks with No Ice - The Darkness

Frustrations

Frustrations. Futile and feeble flailings feed frustrations (thats an allit, pa).

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1) On Tuesday, i went through all levels of purgatory and unnecessary pen ink wastage to make chemistry SPA (Science Practical Assessment) notes for everyone in class. As chemistry rep, i figured this would carry some sort of value and importance.

But noooooo. Everyone either thought i was mugging too much, too hard or that they were handouts meant for all in the level (its in MY handwriting! The one visible from Mars!). To add insult to already grievous injury, they all started complaining that the ink i used was too thick and there were little smudges here and there.

I didn't even have to do these chem SPA notes, let alone for all you ingrates.

Who the hell does notes for chemistry? Let alone SPA notes. Definitely not me. I'd like to think my chemistry practicals are good enough to not require 2 scraps of paper with the most detailed, meticulous and resourceful snippets of information and common errors, guidelines and diagrams.

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2) Due to being in a CCA that is heading for its impending doom (read: vball guys + girls j2 teams got the lanky appendage up their ass), i wanted to try going for alchemy today. Alchemy club, btw, is the poor man's (or lousy namer's) alternative to our school's chemistry society.

However, as Congren went to this very redundant and freaky chinese bicultural lecture (AFTER SCHOOL, wtf!), i didn't have a crucial link (or bond, heh) to the Alchemy club. The sitting around and stoning also got stale post-2pm and i was having my doubts on whether to remain.

Finally, i decided that there were better things to do at home. On the way home, however, i suddenly (albeit unfortunately) recalled that the final SRP lectures were due today. I proceeded to then rush like i was Undead in WC3 all the way down to NUS.

There, i discovered that EVERYONE (discounting me, who is Dwayne in a higher plane of existence than 'everyone') had gotten their SRP projects and secured their mentors already. I had sent out 5 emails about a month earlier. Yes, you read correctly. A gas-guzzling 5 emails...

... Resulting in 2 rejects, 2 unreplied and 1 overseas. I guess i was mentor suffer in SRP. Looks like i'm not getting any random shit projects now.

In my desperation not unlike some random housewife, i just finished sending 4 emails to new prospective mentors (who will, with my luck or lack thereof, be unavailable).

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3) Nobody told me about this maths assignment due tomorrow. We apparently missed the instructions when we went to support the vball matches. Of course, i have already finished it. The dreadful sense of rushing work and having last minute shit that was unplanned (much like diarrhoea at a wedding) remains vividly etched in my consciousness.

I HATE THAT FEELING. I will only accept do fast, slack later. No alternative unless its chinese. Looks like it cannot be avoided, though. Approaching deadlines for almost all our subjects are beginning to take its toll on my (un)hectic schedule.

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4) I'm starting to lose control of my brutal and ravenous appetite. Previously, he was kept under a tight rein and was tethered to the most concrete of willpowers. As of late, my weight-gain-to-look-less-gaunt-and-sickly programme coupled with my being in a sports CCA has ebbed away at my appetite's leash.

In the past 2 months, i have successfully gained 3 kg or so. Successful, a bit TOO successful. These days, i feel perpetually hungry throughout the day (read: now).

Worst still, without my hypocholesterema as the upper fixed point for my diet, i've been gorging on all sorts of unhealth. M&Ms, cakes, bubble teas, ban mian... The list goes on and on as my stomach would in approximately another year.

Fat fat fat
Skulking in as does a cat
Creeping in as does a rat
Staying forever tit for tat
Fat fat fat

Not only am i fat, i have been told i have eyecontainers, or simply put, the mondo mania form of eyebags. Uggh. Furthermore, i'm still staying up into the wee hours of a schoolday morn to complain and bitch about my life.

I can't even sleep to The Darkness' album. SOOO GOOD, et sooo falsetto. Everyone knows that falsetto = trying to sleep with bats and sonar pulse generators.

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FRUSTRATIONS! God if i didn't grow and mature without them, i would so have retired to the remote archipelago to bask in my own glory, in my own free time.



Going to develop stress-related acne to... Givin Up - The Darkness

Mozzie Airbourne

Why do people stare at me in disbelief and mock horror when i mention that i single-handedely (literally) MASSACRED 18 mosquitoes last night?

As of late, my sisters' room has been getting its long-awaited and much-deserved face lift. An unwanted side effect, however, is that offered by the noxious and putrid paint fumes.

If mosquitoes were in any way related to me (not the bloodsucking, creepy crawlie aspects!), they would be just as adversely affected by drying paint!

The paint molecules must be jamming up their probisci or what not... This, paired with the blistering and sweltering heat of late (my air con goes down to 20 deg C only! SO HOT!) must have created the perfectly hospitable habitat in my room.

Also, the fact that i refuse to allow any insectivore's encroaching into my room fails to assuage the meandering mosquito matter. There can be only one animal at the top of the food chain that is dw's room... No dragonflys, no spiders and most importantly, no LIZARDS!

Anyway, because of all these cumulative factors, the mozzies are moving in with as full a swing as Michael Buble on a Viking ride. This is ASKING for a counter-offensive!

Picture the cool and collected Gaara from Naruto. He simply extends out a firm open hand and SQUISHES, resulting in the instantaneous sand smothering for anyone caught within the Sabaku Sou Sou (desert funeral). The same applies to me and mosquitos. With my left hand a mass graveyard for the mosquito bodies, all is dependent on the other to accomplish the nefarious acts of MURDER.

Squish, pick up remains, wash hands and in the meantime allow all the mosquitoes hum jeeing in the toilet to whizz into my room. Yet another vicious (literally) cycle in my life.


Sucker!

Thankfuly, there are many benefits coming out of murdering small impish creatures though. It was due to this coalescing of mozzies that i directed my Project Work Preliminary Ideas to that of eradicating their dengue-spreading (yet very very small) arses.

Also, especially satisfying is the environment of kill or be killed (or rather, bitten). This war-like environment makes the snuffing out of enemy lives extremely pleasureable and satisfying. One could die for the warm sensation one experiences when dealing with these cold-blooded biters (not talking about the warm sensations of scratched mosquito bites).

Furthermore... Hmm wait. What's that monotone humming in my ears?


ARM THE CANNONS! THE MOSQUITOES ARE COMING!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY'RE HERE ALREADY!!



Beat, smack, stake to... Breathe, Stretch Shake - Mase

Perv's a Hair Beyond Compare

Instead of random Buffy the Vampire Slayer-esque dreams, my head has been plagued by yet another pugnacious pestilence: Gatsby the Entire Clayer! (cue dramatic theme song of... "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hair".

As rather discernible, my sis had given me her unused and practically brand new Gatsby Clay for me to decimate my already grossgusting hair...

I think nobody could tell that i had switched to clay, which thankfully does not give the slick and slimy look of certain gooey thunderbolts. In the end, twas alright because my rock-hard hair strands managed to resist a gruelling (albeit air-conned) session of PE.

Btw, To all who think i've been REJECTED BY A GIRL I LOVED, please pry out your long-absent intelligence from that rusted-shut box labelled 'dunce' in your substandard subconsciousnesses. Dust if off. Okay got it? Now proceed to club the useless thing to death with your redundant spinal column. Again and again and again.

My self-esteem just took a hit when she said i 'wasnt her type'. I had thought i was generally agreeable with most people (STOP LAUGHING you fallacious fools! You too!) and was likeable enough to justify the lack of such a comment.

It sooo sucks being someone who craves social acceptance. At least im not as si bai as certain some-people who have zilch in the ego building toy blocks.

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Both the RJ volleyball teams got pwned in today's leg of the semi-finals and their last match (and my last opportunity for match support) would be tomorrow. No matter how well they play, they would get the unceremonious boot to their gluteus maximus.

Good job on getting so far though! It was fun ponning classes to watch g0su (other?) schools handle the opposition dexterously. Pam, you OWNED! Better luck next year yahs?

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On the way home after some spirited conversation @ j8 with Jen, there was this sickly retarded Indian man sitting at the bus stop. Initially, when he stared (and stared) at me, i thought he was just checking out my Adonis-like body (haha jk).

It was only when a very ordinary Datsun hatchback zoomed by that he averted his stare to curse and swear at it. This then continued with the countless other vehicles speeding past the junction.

To make matters worse, a woman in her mid-20s was walking along the road. Upon catching (with tranquilising and electric net efficiency) sight of her, he immediately stood up and made some catcalls (or pigsqueals, considering his heritage). He then WHIPPED OUT HIS LITTLE INDIAN and waved it coolly in her general direction.

The earlier idea of catching his misdeeds on camera phone was immediately scrapped (and decontaminated with lots and lots of disinfectant). Cars were swerving and horning at the horror. The woman had an unmistakable countenance of disgust and shock blended together like ice and grape in bubble tea.

While the woman scurried away as if she were being mentally raped by a sex maniac (oh wait, she WAS), the perv was disorientatedely trying to return his shit-brown brudder back into its flimsy checkered pants of a cage. UGGH!

It was only then that the gravity of the situation warped my mass beyond recognition. I was alone! He had no more innocent young women to heckle. Only innocent young men! I desparately scanned the vicinity for anyone who could offer assistance in case his carnal (or kennel) rage took over.

Thankfully, while he was preoccupied with his own incontinent drooling, bus 93 arrived. HALLELUJAH! The first time it came early was the first time it actually NEEDED to. Whew. No more close encounters with the perv kind again, please.

*cue memory of Linus' very visceral and vivid description of the numerous other accounts of Indian gay sex offenders sniffing glue while groping themselves*

Ironically, I just had the most disgusting-looking chocolate in the world. In no remote relation to porn, it looked suspiciously like phallic devices. Besides being rock hard and edible, it had a freakin penile HEAD omg (castrated, i would guess).

What's this world coming to? Perverts running rampant and pornography so easily discovered in my own home? Its like, inviting me cordially to join some sexual predator country club.

Looks like we're in need of another Make-Everyone-Feel-Good Week. (oops, forgot the 'about-themselves' part. Or did i?)



Grossgusted to... So Pure - Alanis Morisette

Ups and Downs, Smiles and Frowns

According to the ever-so-straightforward (and crude) Ernest, my blog seems to be a 'jumbled up mess of confusion' as of late. This surprisingly corresponds to an increased diurnal average viewership O.o Apparently people love to see me confused, helpless and stuck in some rut.

The sadists. The sadists who contribute to my web counter.

Sadists view my blog when I’m at my worst. I see the great increases in viewership. I get happy and contented that I’m reaching the world. My blog entries get cheerier. The sadists go to wallow in some other scum’s groveling. My blogdership decreases. I return to being my worst.

It’s a damn vicious cycle I tell you.

Add me to your friendster (search dwayne or jianbrutha)! Swell the already thronging ranks of your friendster account! Appear glamorous in the brilliant social spotlight! Claim the ever-popular and super hip (not in any way referring to hip size) jianbrutha as an associate! And while you’re at it why not satisfy my histrionic desires ;)

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Yesterday, all the parents went away to Malaysia on this Alpha Course. This left the whole bunch of EFers (Extended Family-ers) children to their own devices for entertainment.

After baptism course, we all adjourned to J8 to watch ‘The Interpreter’. I honestly thought that it was quite good. With its engaging and detailed characters, good plot twists and a ghostly white and ethereal Nicole Kidman (who looked like she belonged in ‘The Others’). It actually started out rather slasher-flick-ish. Weird for a talkudrama about the UN and its politics O.o

A late dinner (s-11 as expected, with my utmost authority and dominion influencing one and all to that choice) followed by the return to my house for a mass orgy slumber party.

My house is SO not meant to accommodate 6 people staying over.

Anyways, while we were stoning around watching BatThumb, we inadvertedly, (REALLY!) found many scattered secret stashes of sexual scripture (read: porn).

You didn’t even have to look hard, or look actually, to get hard. Note that the last sentence was made in good humour, and that nothing ‘concrete’ happened.

Most notable among the pornographies were "Forbidden Frankenstein” (Oh my god! What a Monster!) and “Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS”. *cue twisted faces of horror and disgust*

Jo was particularly amused by Forbidden Frankenstein, this black and white comic full of decrepit dialogue and cloak and dagger (or rather, cloakless and daggerless) suspense. It was basically about this Frankenstein having lots and lots and lots of random unprotected sex. Such values they preach. I mean, how can anyone be allowed to have unprotected sex today!!??

I repeat, there was hardly any action besides us all laughing our asses off at these utterly cheesy and lame erotickas.

SOMEONE reading this blog here needs to get better quality porn, in our honest opinions. Furthermore, that same someone has to properly store it under lock and key, where we cannot accidentally stumble upon it. It is indescribably scarring to go and discover these tacky and ill-lustrated (literally) articles lah. Completely turns you off porn.

There goes another outlet of stress for me…

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Disclaimer: Neither dw nor any of the EFers are cheekopek perverts with no sex life extending beyond (c)literature. He is just (very) amused by this outburst of porn and was writing in the spur of the moment (meaning with a very dirty mind). He *may* just be using sex to sell his blog.

Digesting my Popcorn to... Jigga What - Jay-Z

Lit Core Histrionic Elec

You May Be a Bit Histrionic ...

Dramatic and over the top, you crave attention. And you'll do anything it takes to get noticed. You love to be seductive, even when it's inappropriate. If you're ignored, you're easily hurt ... and act out even more!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

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OMG Miss Barbi. How true it is that i pig out when i have the desire. How true it is that i wallow in self-pity (instead of mud)...

I guess there's a reason why i felt so moody and crappy after she said "he's not my type". This was even as i felt nothing for her and didn't even bother to ask what actually WAS her type (apparently not the witty, charming and chivalrous ones :D ). I just can't handle rejection like a normal person.

The feeling of losing friends, the rejection, the abandonment. They're all just too unbearable for me.

Luckily, thanks to my cheeky and strident personality, i have managed to recuperate lost friendships (Jen), i have managed to renew and redeem myself.

Thanks to yesterday, i understood who my true friends were (thx Pam!) and made new ones that could potentially become very close (Sher, you've been bumped up to medium!).

Up till yesterday, my Make-Everyone-Feel-Good-About-Themselves Week had been a big failure. Upon retrospect, however, it seems to have just accomplished its goal. Talk about irony.

Histrionic is bound to repeat itself.



Happily whirring to... Your Girl - Mariah Carey

2

Let me tell you a sad story of 2:

2 guys.
Friends since the beginning,
Went through thick and thin.
Shared each others hopes
Aspirations, fears,
Secrets.

2 girls.
Extroverted elitists externally,
Independent imagos internally.
Opened up to the guys.
Associations, friendships,
Blossomed.

2 crushes.
Every guy to his girl.
Secrets within them both unfurled,
Keeping it from the world.

2 months.
The flames apparently extinguished.
One secretly harboured the torch.
The other's dropped without anguish.

Best friends they supposedely be,
Yet under the spell of epiphany,
One told the other's girl
And
In petty retribution,
The Other told One's girl.

One was angered.
The Other, endangered.
The girls were highly amused.
The crowd was highly bemused
(Typical)


*awkward silence*


One could have lost the chance.
One could never have had it with his girl.
One would have been forever stuck in a trance.
Until his girl professed the same love,
Lucky One.

The Other had nothing at all to lose.
The Other had, after all, dissipated the crush.
The Other had no one at all to choose.
Until his girl professed the same love,
Or a lack thereof.

*glass shatters*

Nobody cares about the Other.
The Other that has lost
2 good friends.
One in permanent pairing.
His girl, due to present awkwardness.

One plus one is 2.
The Other minus one is 0.

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Sometimes, stories parallel reality.



Being blue to... You and Me - Lifehouse

Tau NOW

Was told by a consortium of critiques (read: friends Jen, Ben, Kaishi) that i give the first impressions of a tau kiah. Apparently my facial structure of dunno-what bones and lip positions sends off these go-away-FOREVER vibes...

An oblivious ogre. An ignoring infidel. A high and mighty who neither says 'hi' nor 'nighty'.

If that's the case, let me brood in my own higher plane of existence, let me stew infinitely in my own juices (orange, i hope).

Looks like i'm playing out my stereotype for today's kicks.



Not saying 'nighty' to... Shut Up - Black Eyed Peas

Bittersweet Dreams

I was checking the viewership stats for none other than jianbrutha.blogspot.com, when i got the shock of my drab and dismal life:

HURRH HURRH

There was a sudden influx of 10 or so visitors more than usual. These, however were all from weird hentai anime-sounding livejournal names and such. Of all the weird occurrences in my life (not counting daily fat intake), why??

If the average viewership for my blog was to be the japanese chibinority, I would so go and hang myself off RJ's Auspicium Melioris Aevi sign. Before that, though, i would lug all my earthly possessions into a ravenous fire. If i can't have it, neither can you all!

Not that i have a thing against anime. Its just that swooning, crooning and lampooning jap pervs have NOTHING in common with me. Except maybe the swooning. And the crooning. Oh and the lampooning too. Arrh what the heck i'm a perv too anyway (didn't that smiley warn you enough beforehand?)

*moment of epic self-realisation*

Thankfully, upon further investigation, i realised my sister had went and did some rather riveting recommendations of my blog to her forum kakis. Time to adamantly advocate her blog in recompense for her little boost (Note: that was the link to one of the new-fangled livejournal crappages in her friend's blog. Cue to Blogger to sponsor me once again).

For those interested in my gothickia (haha gothika. get it? GET IT? omg please tell me you do) of a sister, her blog is here(tic). Haha jkjk. Continue in your very admirable and individualistic life with much aplomb only you can muster. I don't think you're evil ah... (Especially after you've helped sell my blog to the world).

To all the recurring visitors off that site, HIHI I LOVE YOU!

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Revel in rather ridiculous, random revelations.

The syllabus, in song:

My, My Cells and I - Beyonce Knowles
Cell Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
Me Against Micelle - Jay Sean
H to the izzO - Jay-Z

Riiite. In case you didn't get the last one, it refers to hydrogen bonding in water (as if that justifies my geekiness)

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Anyway, i had this grossly weird dream amidst my sleepless last night.

My father and I were in this pleasantly temperate country. As we were driving along the rapidly darkening road, we spotted some hyped-up advertisements about this 'Game'.

Curious, we decided to drop by the abandoned factory arena (think Batman the movie) where the game was being conducted to experiment it. Typically, the factory had boarded-up windows, slimy mossy walls and an icy cold metallic feel.

The objective of the game was simple: The group of us present had to survive thronging hordes of white, cute and furry pomeranians with the taste for human flesh. And super speed. And evil red eyes. You get the point(ed teeth of theirs).

By the rules of the game, these creatures were unable to traverse on these weird catwalk things twisting throughout upper levels of the factory. Hence, by deduction, all participants were trying to make their way onto one of them.

After much frenzied dodging (Ernest was however, eaten *face of indifference*) and uneventful waiting, a portal to some nth dimension suddenly appeared connected next to the catwalk. Inside, there were a gaggle of viciously venomous vampires stroking their pomeranian pets. They undoubtedely wanted in on the tasty humans, but were unable to due to the constraints of the game.

The group of us immediately realised that our true goal in the game was to eradicate all evil. With great trepidation, we approached the vertical horizon of the portal and were staring them straight in the face.

The ensuing dog and bone game, besides being terribly random (yes, we actually played dog and bone with the undead), resulted in neither side gaining any concrete foothold. We realised that in order to kill them all in one fell swoop, we would have to wait till dawn before smashing the boarded-up windows to let the sun's radiance in.

A la deus ex machina, i was suddenly blessed with the mystic power and title of the Master Photoshop Artist. I had this ability to 'cut' and 'paste' the vile creatures within our ranks to stake them more easily.

With this, the first vampire i cntrl-v'ed was Johan, whom i remorselessly vanquished. The second was this calafare (hey I'M the main character in my dream, remember?) and he too literally bit the dust.

However, upon the slaying of the second vamp, we were immediately whisked away to the domain of this huge red nigga-looking horned demon. He explained his plans for world domination and the defiling of Man's world, etc etc (you know the standard megalomaniacal monologue).

Staking him only resulted in the flimsy wooded stakes (how does Buffy use them?) snapping like toothpicks.

Once he finished, we were teleported back to the ground floor of the factory. Dazed and confused, we did not realise the impending white fluffy pomeranian doom speeding my way until it was too late...

I was then awakened by the dream's complete strangeness and randomness, feeling all sorts of weird hypnopompic emotions coursing through my body. I tried cutting and pasting a mosquito into the dustbin before realising my foolishness (and the pointlessness of this entry)

O.o

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Blogger went and lost the majority of this blog entry before it was posted!!! Again!!!! FUCKS. I had to retype out all the shits. I SOOOO need to do it in wordpad from now...



Fuming away to... Stay the Night - Mariah Carey

Make-Everyone-Feel-Good-About-Themselves-Week

I have been artistically emo of late. What with the very abstract blog entries and poems. This SO does not bode well for a jovial, poppy blog! EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAPPY!

Which does bring me to my personal pet project: The Make-Everyone-Feel-Good-About-Themselves-Week.

My soppy and sappy aim is to go and say or do something good to that person about his inherent character or at least my thoughts on him/her. This even includes apologising to decrepit scum and thick-skinned cheekopeks (cue for decrepit scum and thick-skinned cheekopeks to NOT read coming a bit too late).

This not only gives me the chance to go and revitalise some dying relationships, but also lifts a huge burden off your shoulders. Once you get that feeling, NOTHING CAN GO WRONG!

Feels so good to do good. WAHAHA (not to be mistaken for an evil cackle), i'm such a jubilant and felicitious person. The world revolves not slanted 5 degrees to its axis, but on LOVE and HAPPINESS!

EVERYONE MAKE THIS WEEK A HAPPY WEEK! Pay it forward!

---

Rapturous emotions aside, my watered-up hair is so cool! I mean, i've never had the patience or the inspiration/drive to go and spike my hair as such.

Unfortunately, i have to persistently regenerate the spikiness with tap water. Especially every irritating tutorial with those dastardly fans and their inherent plot to take over the world by inducing a worldwide Bad Hair Day.

Oh woo! I ran 1.6km in 6 min 10 seconds. And that's post flu-recovery and not-touching-my-running-shoes-in-eons. I kinda forced myself though, since i wanted to see my time after my best (and from what i remembered, unfit) pal jeremy went and joined track and got the very respectable time of 6:31.

Good improvement, yahs jem? Keep it up then can become some all-rounded hunky scholarly musician. Master of all trades, kena jack in none!

After the run though, could feel some effects of the flu creeping back into my existence. Throaty wheezing and coughing out dense dried-shit-white phlegm. I swear this overlooked flu wave will be the death of us all. No one seems to be recovering from it while more lambs are sacrificed to appease the petty and vain Flu God.

---

Finally, albeit the physical act of actually writing out a poem on gossip and its detriments to society and the moral fabric that is intertwined within it, i have despicably stooped (or ascended) to the level of Prime GossipMonger.

I even devised a class to complement my Principle of Equivalent Trade for Gossip* (in no way related to Full Metal Alchemist's lowly rules that i would SO not plagiarise):

• Level 1 and below: Gossip rather freely available to everyone. Overheard during breaks and lunches and having no particular reputation-smearing potential.
• Level 2 and below: Semi-exclusive gossips that were entrusted to you by friends of friends. Information snippets along the lines of minor crushes and the occasional lewd act of felony.
• Ultimate Level 3: Life-changing, reality-altering gossips so juicy they could hydrate an Africa in drought. Usually told to you by very good friends (whom you have no qualms about betraying). Can only be told to fellow good friends under their oath to not tell anyone else (yah rite).

I should be thankful, though, that there are hierarchies higher than me in the gossip chain of command. For instance, there's Jen. Then there's Jen. Oh and did i mention Jen?

SIGH SO SUPERFICIAL. What everyone needs, though, is a super facial with all the lingering stress and their acne molecules arbitrarily hovering around our beautiful, elitist faces.

Riiiite. Oh, and this is soooo lame. As is this, but this is (at least) erotically lame.

---

*To those who wish to exchange some pertinent 'details', feel free to exchange in a simple transaction. No extra middleman fees.
I'll however, have to charge an exorbitant amount of interest which u WILL be feeling.



Staring at my reflection in the computer to... Mr Brightside - The Killers

Quizzical Me

Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things. Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments. You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it. You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle. You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

---

Haha thx debo for these lame quiz things.

Busy busy busy as a bee (if bees were students in RJC). I've decided to restart my long stagnating...

Dictionary Project:
Increase Vocab 10-fold


With a vocab like his
You won't ever write like this.


It was this uber-tedious project i assayed in early 2002. My aim was to scour the ENTIRE english dictionary and fish out ALL the words that i didn't know.

Cheem words, cool words, useless words, phrases, idioms. Even familiar (yet pwning) words that i tended to forget were separated from the chaff and jotted down in that exercise book...

Did you notice my arsenal of grandoise vocabulary rarely seems to stretch beyond the letter 'h'? Its cause i capitulated at approximately that denotation and was wallowing in the miasma of my pride and my chronic malingering. Please also realise that the last sentence made no absolute sense when read.

To think i WAS this crazy once... Time to pump up the crazy injections and assail this arduous yet attainable goal!

I will not give up. I will display perseverance and be dubbed Homeric by the end of 2005! I will have to start now and stop bullcrapping on blogger! The horologe reads 6:29 pm, and my dinner of horripliation is about to commence!



Scintillatingly scurrying salaciously to... Once Upon a Broken Heart - The Beu Sisters

Regrets...

I...

Regret not expanding my social circle
Regret not realising the importance of time
Regret not taking up an instrument
Regret not absorbing science proactively
Regret not running for council
Regret not being the best i can be
Regret not being sporty enough
Regret not being enthusiastic enough
Regret not following my fortes
Regret not spending enough time with loved ones

Regret being a complete arsehole before (and now)
Regret being unnecessarily bossy
Regret being a stuck-up
Regret being boastful
Regret being painfully average
Regret being the laziest fucktard ever
Regret being so self-conscious
Regret being greedy and selfish
Regret being intolerant
Regret being insensitive

Regret the chances forever lost
Regret the friendships now drifted apart
Regret the loves never pursued
Regret the wrong chances taken

Regret quitting rugby for BB
Regret ever being fat
Regret giving up lit in JC
Regret alienating potential friends
Regret taking the easy way out

Today, I...
Regret eating Biopolis hor fun
Regret not water spiking my hair earlier
Regret overeating at dinner
Regret watching Guess Who

Sigh.
I regret writing this entry...



Pining my life away for a better day to... Return to Innocence - Enigma

Gossip

Sprouting sans a single seed;
Unfurling from a fable, freed.
As do venomous vines villify,
Garish Gossip goes global.
Information runs its (dis)course.

Symptomatic:
Sickly green with envy,
Scarred hearts,
Severed consciences,
Sore(s) on all parts.
Once done you're done
Cure: None

Towards the maligering and the pious,
Infectious.
Towards the gentle and the violent,
Virulent.
Gossip spares no one.
Gossip ravages all.
And as did the influenza,
Mutates to even greater appall.

A friend you know knows a girl,
And a pretty one at that.
An innocent guy driving home his point.
Rumours that they've fallen
In love. Made love, flayed love.
Soon,
Bodies unidentifiable,
Reputations irresuscitable.
While Gossip still thrives

The carriers, the infected,
The spreaders, the conductor,
The diseased, the deceased,
Everyone's susceptible,
Everyone's vulnerable.
It will NEVER cease.

Run for your life while Gossip runs strife.

---

Disclaimer: All poems unless otherwise stated are composed by dw. So there's no point in telling others i plagiarise e.e



Pondering away to... Rumours - Lindsay Lohan

SPAsTrix: Reloaded

Am i the only one that found the chemistry mock SPA extremely exhilirating and therapeutic? It was just so liberating to liberate x mols of Mn2+ ions while basking in the silent ambience of titrated fluids cascading into the conical flasks...

Hypnotic, hypnotic...

Didn't help that i finished the practical with 15 minutes to spare and was actually done with my apparatus washing up before the bell rang. Nor that i even had the time to draft out a whole paragraph commenting on anomaly (or lack thereof, in my case).

Hypnotic, hypnotic...

God. Chem is fun. Chinese is fundamentally fucked up.

There has to be equilibrium in everything, and i am hence as bad in chinese as i am good in chemistry (or at least how good i think i am). Who the heck gets 40% for ting xie and 50% for zuo wens? Chinese is overly depressing. jian zhi men shi wo le!

After another mind-numbing chinese composition (compost in my case), i had to rush to meet Congren for Mindtrix (its a pun on Matrix, HA. HA. HA. THOSE DAMNED LIBRARIANS! OUTDOING THEMSELVES AGAIN IN TERMS OF HUMOUR.)

Unfortunately, my mind was trixed by Mindtrix and its absolutely inane and useless 'general knowledge'. If by general knowledge they are actually referring to 'RJ library protocol and trivia'. Whoop-de-doo. Needless to say, we were booted out in the first round of eliminations. Talk about trivial pursuits...

There was only a short period before Press Play, a mixed rock bands night thing, begun. We grabbed a bite and admired our stashed-away cow. Some smart aleck went and kopped the cow from the koppers and propped it very unstrategically (read: no one gets moosmerised by it). I bet their plan was to lure us out of hiding when we moved the cow back, and snare us in their entrapments.

How perfectly convenient and intentional that me and Congren and I forgot (to even buy) our PressPlay tickets. Looks like we have nothing to do but sneak in.

Hmm. Upstairs entrances being guarded? Ticket stubs being collected in exchange for purple chops on our hands? Big burlesque guards acting as stoic watchmen?

NO PROBLEM!

I went and 'stole' Timothy's stamp when it was fresh on the back of his hand by pressing mine against his (nothing dirty and gay lah). The result: A fresh purple stamp on my hand too! I then passed this on to Congren with stealthy subterfuge and we both had a poor excuse for a vague indigo RJ crest smudged on our hands.

Mission: Possible. The incompetent (wah haven't used this word in awhile) ticketeers accepted our 'it got smudged' excuses and even stamped a new proper one on Congren!

Verily the felony ah...

Wah OMG. Luckily we didn't pay for that wail-fest. 66% of the bands were below par and painful to (h)ear. Rock bands are headache-inducing and nauseating for the first 30 minutes, especially with the disco pulse-interrupting, seizure-laden lighting. That or it was just the crappy band #1.

Boon's band wasn't that bad! Max don't cry arhs... Its all Velda's fault.

The Legend of Velda has her using her Wailing Winds to blast away all opposition. Supersonic shrieks and competitive choruses were all she specialised in. And don't worry, you were the best eye candy there!

Upon reaching home after late night ban mian, I had to ring the house bell 50 times before my maid came and opened it for me. In the meantime, i smashed the transparent plastic cover over the bell in a bid to squash a lizard making itself comfortable in its nooks and crannies.

I actually thought something bad had happened to my GM as she usually scurries and opens the gate for me.

Must start cherishing her more as of tomorrow.

Edit: My God u must all download this song. It was ringing in my head the whole time during chem and it just stuck, kinda permanently. I think it helped me concentrate somewhat...



Siansing to... Hypnotic - Syleena Johnson

Taking the Bull by the Horns

Weeha.

Are you a good speller?

You scored 18 out of a possible 23
Go to the top of the class. Either you're a natural orthographer, or you paid a lot of attention in school. Either way, you could make a fortune on the spelling bee circuit.

Try the test out here


Don't worry, i DO actually know that my spelling sucks...

Hey, i type out my blog entries direct in Blogger's 'Create' as opposed to Microsoft Word after all. Its a familiar and warm atmosphere, caring, friendly and inviting. That and my cheapskate-of-a-father did NOT get me Microsoft Word. Nor Powerpoint. How caveman-ish is that?

YuCKS (and oh coooool!)! I just sneezed all over my computer screen. The droplets act like some sort of refractor and split the emitted light into a small rainbow spectrum. Isn't physics beautiful? Don't be fooled by the stereotypical image of physicists as Einstein, especially if i'm here!

---

Speaking of spectra and Einstein, some random artist assuming that godly title has laid waste to Singapore's plains and empty grass patches. He has begun his mass invasion of ugly and grossgusting multi-coloured cows in a shameless bid to pimp up Comfort Delgro's new slogan.

Do NOT click on the link, wouldn't want to give them the extra publicity, would you?

Remember Ma Mae Moo? OMG the cows looked exactly like those 2-D moo-nsters. Just spectral (and i do not mean ghostly, though they have the same scare factor). These painted, wooden bovine displays aren't only a conspicuous eyesore in Singapore, its also a conspicuous eyesore anywhere else E.e

Anyway, with the cancellation of today's vball practice (udderly slacking siah), Jen had the brilliant(ly stupid) idea to hijack one of them from a nearby field and plant it in the vicinity of the RJ canteen. After all, we do have to release our creative juices somewhere. The vandalism, damaging of public property and theft just come as side perks.

A short moo-ment later, and the pretty pink cow is merrily stationed above his new grazing spot. Strategically positioned directly under the general office, while sandwiched by the sports hall and the parade square. The initial hype was already considerable especially since it was early evening RJ, what with everyone either at home moo-gging or at beefing up at their CCAs.

---

Justifications:

• Infuse a sense of modern art and expression into academic existence.
• Brighten up the glaring green and whittling white of RJ.
• Cosy-fy the environment.
• Provide positive advertising on ComfortDelgro's behalf (much better publicity with just one cow in every school, rather than multiple organisms (heh) all over ulu patches.
• Boys will be boys, and not calfs.
  

---

Of course, these are just my rehearsed bullshit responses in case i get caught.

I do have to give Jen a (cow)pat on the back for masterfully Anthony-Lering his way through this decadently devious deed. I contributed a self-proclaimed 5% though. This way, i can get credit if successful yet can evade capital punishment unlike the udders if sentenced.

OK! i seem to have milked all i could out of this once-amoosing topic. I have to find some way for my blog to be as effectively plugged as this bovine battalion did for Comfort. Maybe if i use the herd syndrome?

Anyway, time to get down and dirty to the nitty gritty CHEMISTRY TUTORIAL! *cue evilly joyful laughter*. Chemistry is the best thing that happened to us. As a matter of fact, its the ONLY thing that has happened to us.

WAH. Anarchic and rebellious streak of late. If anyone sees Hodge or some MRT conductor coming my way, tell them to give me a few days graze to run to the hills! Can't wait till assembly tomorrow O.o.



Not giving a cow to... It's Like That - Mariah Carey

Dog Day Afternoon

The state of movies today is very lamentable. What's up with sequel after sequel after prequel? Like the abysmal Son of the Mask and the mundane Samara.

Such is the state of my blog according to detractors (that's me, btw): Repetitive and mediocrity-glorifying. Anyway, there has to be some reason deep down inside that makes you blogders actually want to read about not-so-little and not-so-ol' me.

I gave away $20 in Kinokuniya vouchers! Feel like such a good samaritan (not samaratan, a hairy and haggard beast of a girl crawling out of your computer screen to hand you chocolates).

Although this was partially because i've had them cooped up in my wallet since Christmas last year and the additional bulk it so generously spared was getting irritating. That and the fact that i would have forgotten my wallet if not for the 2 girls who notified me E.e (thx klar and yg!)

I still have $20 worth of the vouchers lol. FREE FOR THE FIRST 2 PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR THEM! Of course, this will only prove to me how loserly you are. Not because of the desperation in your $2 cheapskating rink, but because you are admitting to reading my blog!

Made many new friends and strengthened past relationships today: Sherilyn, Serene, Darren, Johnathan, Vipul, etc. The former 2 being new intakers and the latter 3 being fellow SRPians. Here's hoping to these friendships being more than mere acquaintances (read: people you brush by in the corridor and mumble a half-hearted 'hi' to).

---

Dogging and vetting the readers

Nubi's visit to the vet was due today. After SRP, i made my way down to ENV building to be chauffeured around by my father.

OMG now that he reads my blog (HI PA!), he seems to think he knows every aspect and facet of my life and tries to instigate weird respones out of me by asking random questions. I am no square, I AM A POLYGON! I have many sides you haven't even calculated yet...

Riiiiite.

The visit was not the smooth 10 minute trip we envisioned. Besides being unable to handle the incoherent grunting creature with gross hairs sweeping the floor, Nubi was being a pain as well. The nurse actually had to help Mr Vet translate his instructions, lest i thought 'twice a day' was 'lice are gay'.

No wonder the veterinarian was so fat: he was swallowing more than his fair share of words... He was good though, and offered to check Nubi for heartworms.

4 people had to hold Nubi down (along with a muzzizzle) when they tried to extract some blood from him. He was howling and thrashing his head about and everyone was so scared he was going to bite post-aggravation.

Ended up with his Nubloood on my RJ shirt. The itchy hairs also made their way into my eye, yet was unable to clean it out cause of all the hair on my shirt and hands e.e Officially the most irritating feeling in the world.

Aww my little puppy has grown up, to possibly have a fellow creature worming through his heart (or at least the propensity to).

Alas! He is perfectly healthy. Got some medication for the fellow creatures worming around in his shit though. THOSE are some scary black gold-diggers.

Sigh. My undoubtedely adorable husky *imaginarily huggles him while he snorts*.

---

On the way home, i heard that Britney Spears was pregnant.


Pre-pregnancy, i *think*

Initially, i thought that a relationship was possible. After all, girls went for guys a lot younger than them (>7 years, at least). I also consoled myself that as we both aged gracefully, the age gap would narrow in comparison to our (percent)age.

Then, i thought i could be noticed and move to the US.

As she became older, sultrier and sexier, she remained just beyond reach. She was not a girl, not yet a woman while I was also maturing and the prospect of eternal bliss was lingering ever-so-closer.

Then, she married Federline. I reasoned: With such a dolt of a husband and such a right royally screwed up life, she would need stability and a responsible man in her life. Hope still lingered.

And now, SHE'S PREGNANT! AGGGH. WITH FEDERLINE SPAWN. The world is unfair to everyone but that stupid crappy shit. Idiotic girl can go and continue her downward spiral into oblivion for all i care.


I'm a Skank 4 You
Aggh. Yet i still care a lot.

*Cue end of random Britney romp*

---

Haha a minor exaggeration, i hope. There are other attainable fish in the sea (of RJ). With luck they all won't get married to bummed out losers/backup dancers before i get my chance.



Smelling my sulphured hands to... Shake it Off - Mariah Carey

Lagi Laggy Life

Slow slow slow. The exception applies to me once again, whereby time passes slowly when suffering, but also passes slowly when having fun.

Ponned lessons from 11am today to go and support the j2 volleyball teams. Girls >>> Pioneer JC's (esp with the professional skilled adept penchant-for-spiking Pam).

The guy's team lost. What's new. They were, however, up against the very sexy and pro NYJC, who spiked at shittily acute angles and at blinding speeds... g0su-sage.

Hmm. I think one of the reasons time has crawled by at its lightning-quick pace (if i were a beam of light) is because i had absolutely NOTHING TO DO the whole afternoon. Reached home at 4pm to find that blogger was down. Did some nekkid standing broad jumps with Stargate DVD covers as a gauge (240cm average!) and proceeded to whittle away the rest of my afternoon with MSN and Mad magazine.

Pure fun. Not. (arrgh even the effects of written sarcasm, or lack thereof, are disrespecting my authority...)

The worst feeling in the world is having time and not being able to spend it wisely.

Anyway, was skimming through liquidgeneration earlier.OMG they added so many cool new lame stuffs! Check out especially the Gaytrix, My Boo, Hey Allah, Annoy the Hindu, Trumpbot vs BillGatesbot. It has got to be the most random and lame thing in the face of Mars where trust me, you don't find any regularity in the rocks and sedimentary deposits.

ARRRGH Nokia software does NOT work with windows XP. I spent the whole night trying to install the bloody corrupted programmes and downloading (sluggishly) the replacements online. Efforts were futile, not fertile. I so wanted to upload some jpegs and video clips online for your viewing (dis)pleasure. Guess it'll have to wait till another day till it gets its debut.

*groggily rocks back and forth* woah my inviting bed is beckoning... Coming my dear!

Its a freaking 11:15 pm now, and i know i must seem like some loserly grumbling idiot to say this, but WAAH SO LATE! I need my beauty sleep. And lots and lots of it at that. I just hope time passes as slowly when im asleep than when i was awake...

---

Pertinent thought/discussion for the day:
The net of friendship is a fickle thing. The wider it is cast, the bigger the holes inside. It is impossible to accomodate everyone.

---

Blinking my lead-laden eyelids to... One and Only - Mariah Carey ft Twista

Mondo Monday

I was plastered a ghastly white (according to maxine) the whole morning today! Must have been the residual effects of the dissipating flu and all these random burdens in life...

I harboured that feeling of dread in my stomach the whole day, many thanks to the stupid fine and the bio test which i had absolutely no mood to study for. This, coupled with a sleepless night (think mariah carey's wailing), really blasted my mood and contributed to my paleness.

In the end though, all's well that ended well. There was no vball training, but we still grouped together for some informal games anyway! Fun fun. Physical outlet for stress = good.

On the way out to the bus stop, me and huan ting (forever known as HT now) spotted the ever-elusive bus 93 just pulling in to the station. This prompted a mad frenzied (and rather embarassing) dash to the bus stop, obviously to no avail. It escaped out of the confines of the bus stop just as i stepped in. Even the bystanders could offer no aid in quelling its macabre thirst to cover more stops.

I have this theory that the only outlet for bus drivers' stress is to piss off the passengers.

If you were stuck on a stuffy and dank bus all day, with leg cramps galore and inviting sleep just a wink away, im sure the only method of self-entertainment is to see how many passengers you can quickly zoom away from as they are running towards the bus... That and the fact that they trundle like poxy perambulators, insisting on slowing to a crawl at traffic lights just to wait for them to turn red.

Sigh. Stupid bus drivers.

The untimely (read: 40 freakin minutes) delay was however fraught with serendipity. HT met his OG mate and her friend ,both second intakers, and introductions were tossed about carelessly at the bus stop. The result is i have new friends in Dawn (cb alert!) and Michelle. Michelle is like a neighbour to me (literally).

The very sporadic sick-inducing weather, on the other hand, dealt us a short thunderstorm today. The result was that there were SNAILS ABOUND in the region outside my house!!!!!

Needless to say, i killed 14. And they were the dua kees somemore... Drop kicked around 3, stomped on 6 and slam dunked another 4. So cool so cool! These imbeciles have absolutely no ecological niche, and should all die all based on their appearance alone.

Snail-killing has in itself made my day. But lo and behold! Desperate Housewives is on! WAHAHA the only thing that can cut a blog entry prematu...



Snailed to the TV with... Get Your Number - Mariah Carey ft Jermaine Dupri

Really Fine Bubble Tea

Me and shan were innocently galavanting around Orchard Road earlier today. With stomachs full and contented with Biopolis Nasi Briyani, the purchase of new CDs (Emancipation of Mimi, Permission to Land) made utter rapture and nirvana come full circle. The romp around HMV had however, taken its toll, and our thirsty and hot bodies (temperature lah) were coveting the One-A-Cup Bubble Tea outlet located opposite Somerset MRT.

A fiery debate ensued on whether to patronise our pet Cool Cup @ J8. Besides being cheaper and a guranteed better buy, it was also somewhat on the way back to Nick's house. Our sizzled, impatient minds finally opted for the former, and i got myself a $2 cup of Strawberry Yoghurt w/ Jelly drink.

It was the best! A zesty blend of strawberry reinforced by the creamy texture that is unquestionably yoghurt. I savoured my glorious beverage as we both lugged our new and prized wares down to the Somerset station.

Being the undeniable Goody Two Shoes i was (and im not talking about my Air Force Ones here), i stopped before tapping my (sl)EZ-link card to the counter, glancing about warily for any signs that prohibited the consumption of drinks. The images of "No Durians", "No Smoking", "No Pets" streamed into my head. With the station being bereft of any food warnings, we both carefreely skipped in.

As we made our way down to the MRT train tracks, an automated voice boomed over the loudspeaker: "Attention, there is to be no consumption of food or drinks in the MRT station or the MRT trains at all times". We shrugged it off and noted the coincidence that we had just brought in our Bubble Tea containers.

"Attention, there is to be no consumption of food or drinks in the MRT station or the MRT trains at all times" rang throughout the station once again, prompting Shan to giggle girlishly and suggest i wave my cup in front of what we thought was a security camera.

The train approached and the third warning bounced off our thick hides. Just as we were about to enter, this lanky Indian approached us wearing a stern countenace too baggy for his face.

"Come with me. I am going to write you a summons for $500." was his cool reply. Like obedient dogs, we followed him to the conductor's station and handed him our ICs.

It was only then that the gravity set in.
OMFG OMFG OMFG! $500????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!!!! I was genuinely remorseful and regretful of my actions (really!!) and put on quite a good act when he asked for my school.

"You're supposed to be the cream of the crop. How can you do such a stupid thing as this? Aren't you Singaporean?" and countless other rehearsed lines spouted from his (no offence) fugly face. What's worse, shan went and lied about his school OMFG. He then mentioned something about putting our names on the database and that if we get caught a second time that we would face punishment, suspension and SIGH.

If he ended off like that, i would have happily pranced out and ignored the gravity of the situation. Unfortunately (or should i say niggerly), he went and added that he would pardon us, but it was still ultimately up to his supervisor on whether we would be fined. "The fine will be sent by mail if that's the case" was his cryptic farewell message.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Stuck in a black book for life! Going to get kicked out of school! Going to get fined $500!!! (Notice the 3 exclaimation marks for the last one...)

I hope that despite the fluctuating weather now, his supervisor isn't sick (read: cranky) and trigger-happy for fining innocent minors for drinking in a MRT station.

Upon further inspection when we were back in the station, we noticed the "No Eating" sign camouflaged with great subterfuge behind the station information. Who the heck would see that? Its not like we were going to release Sarin Bubble Tea into the stations or worse, litter...

Stupid uninformative site has nothing on their protocol and how to deal with first-time offenders. There i go all hyper and pessimistic and Chicken Licken once again...

And pa: Dont talk to me about this until we get the fine.


Digesting my $502 Bubble Tea to... I Just Wanna Live - Good Charlotte

10 Layers of the Onion-like Ogre (me, fyi):

*kopped from my goth sis.

LAYER ONE
Name: dwayne
Birthdate: 0801
Birthplace: s'pore
Current Location: stewing in my own juices, getting blinded by high computer screen contrast.
Hair : Nigger Black. Also available in shades of ugly shit.
Height: 176cm

---

LAYER TWO
Your heritage: BANANA PHONE! Brilliance personified as a Chinese.
Your weakness: Bubble tea!
Your fears: Failing
Your perfect pizza: custom with button shrooms, ground beef, bacon, ham, extra cheese. Drools. Unfortunately i've turned non-junk-food-junkee.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Get the experience of being in a REAL relationship.

---

LAYER THREE
Your thoughts first waking up: Food?
Your best physical feature: "they're all pretty crap to me." haha thx for answering this for me, sis.
Your bedtime: Trying (in vain) for 11pm on weekdays, 12am on weekends.
Your most missed memory: Memory? What memory?

---

LAYER FOUR
Pepsi or Coke: Coke (black milk NOW!)
McDonald's or Burger King: BK, but on a permanent fast-food sabbatical
Single or group dates: Group. The more the merrier in chicken soup, especially the red ones.
Adidas or Nike: Nike Air Force Ones!
Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Or.

---

LAYER FIVE
Cuss: Me? Cuss? HAHAHAHA
Sing: Falsetto bagpipe-esque tunes.
Have a crush on someone: My swivel chair. Its once again bearing the brunt of my crushing butt.
Do you think you've been in love: Nein.
Want to go to college: Yes please! And pile on the dollops of chem.

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LAYER SIX
In the past month...
Done a drug: Caffeine! Sugar!
Had sex: Nope
Gone on a date: Sadly no.
Gone to the mall: If the torrid, mangy dungeons of J8 count...
Eaten an entire box of oreos: NO!
Eaten sushi: Yep yep! Buffet somemore *regurgitates out month-old teriyaki chicken*
Been on stage: Nope
Been dumped: Dumped, but not dumped (I'm sure you wouldn't like to what i've dumped).
Gone skating: Not after my near-death experience involving construction pipes and an uncontrolled descent on roller-blades...
Made homemade cookies: Do Hershey's Chocolate Kisses melted over bananas count? Heh i gosuly developed that delectable delight, right? Right???!
Gone skinny-dipping: Yes, but then in my bathroom.
Stolen anything: Someone's heart.

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LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Soccer? The changing part (not funny? ah screw it. Its hard to joke all the time).
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Not 'extremely'
Been "caught" doing something: *pouts* Are you implying that i did that?
Been called a tease: Yes. Stupid RJians.
Gotten beaten up: Nope
Changed who you were to fit in: Of course. Doesn't everyone?

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LAYER EIGHT
Age you hope to be married: 28
Numbers and Names of children: Semba, Lyfic, T.

---

LAYER NINE
(Describe what YOU consider to be attractive qualities of the
opposite sex)
Best eye color: Caucasian-coloured
Best hair color: Caucasian-coloured
Best height: average for Caucasians
Best weight: As long as they don't throw it around.
Best article of clothing: Nothing (if they fulfil the earlier requirements :D)

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LAYER TEN
Number of drugs taken illegally: I prefer for you to not know about my completely lacking past.
Number of people I could trust with my life: I can't even trust people with my Zen...
Number of cd's that I own: 38! And those are just the ones i recognise as my own.
Number of piercings: [6^1-3x2]^9 billion.
Number of tattoos: Nine (pun intended).
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Thrice
Number of scars on my body: 3, all leg. Pimple scars are temporal while emotional scars are ethereal. So they don't count.
Number of things in my past I regret: Muchios, gracias.

---

Hmm. Been feeling weird and woozy today. Must be sickness returning due to my hectic schedule.



Trying to think of an action to type out to... It Was a Good Day - Ice Cube

An Apple a Day keeps Appearances at Bay

I'm back after a whopping 1 day hiatus. Didjya miss me? I refrainied from blogging for an entire day! The control, the willpower, the perseverance! Some regulars at this blog actually asked me why i didn't update yesterday... I guess some randomness and irregularity only adds some spice to life!

Of course, the real reason was this ugly puzzle apple that i found assembled upstairs in the family room while scouring the house for some productive task to embark upon. It was stoically sitting there, a frozen look of undue excitement on its face. What came next is no surprise as i smashed it to the core (literally) and picked up the pieces (literally) to rebuild it.

I figured that the completion of this dreary and mundane task would not only sharpen my already knife-like noggin, but would also give me an object to display in my rather bare room. Also, it would me MINE, ALL MINE as i would have been the last one assembling it (don't ask. i have some obsessive compulsive possessiveness whereby only thigs that i consider mine can be kept in my room).


I rock(hard) to the (apple) core!

What i didn't figure, was that the spastic apple took a total of 3 hours of labour before finally achieving fruition. Even Isaac Newton would have had a headache fixing it up (and not from any falling apples). This dreaded inanimate fruit gave me a sleepless night (read: 12 am) and postponed my dinner for 1 hour today...

Right now its sitting on my shelf, just glaring at me. with a face that screams "Wanna fight issit?"

However, my flu seems to have been cured for the majority of it. Was snorting and blowing my nose like heck yesterday and today though. No fevers have ascended upon little ol moi yet (since objects with a higher temperature rise).
Phlegm check: White.

It seems a plastic jigsaw apple a day keeps the doctor away after all.

---

Another reason for the abandonment of my blog yesterday was because me and Jessica were gossiping the night away and rating people in the class based on the Theme of Appearance and Personality O.o. Super facial yet superficial.

Which brings to me to my topic of external appearances. Aka Looks, chiobu-ness, trollbu-ness, looking dashing & worthy or worth dashing away from.

They say beauty is only skin deep. What they (the ugly people, that is) don't know, is that skin comprises of the epidermis and its own 3 sublayers, its dermis and a layer of sub-cutaneous fat under it. Furthermore, the largest organ in the body is the skin! So i guess the depth of skin must traverse quite a great bit.

Beauty and perfection are essential criteria in society today. Not only do the apply to first impressions (which stick around longer than one thinks), they are the outward windows to our souls. Beautiful = happy = high self-esteem = contented and stable. No matter how much any of us try to skirt the issue (or actually read it), it finds a way to rear its beautiful head and slap us across the face, bringing us back down to earth and grounding us.

Before i can go and criticise others, though,

---

Rating myself from the bottom up:

Feet: Good! Nothing apparently wrong here because its hidden in shoes most of the time. Hmm bringing that up i'll say its smelliness.

Calf-section: UGLY, HAIRY, SCARRED(!!) and too improportioned from the rest of my body. Blame my mom for the familial thin legs and my many bike/roller blade accidents for the stitch marks.

Thighs: One word: Fat and white. Ok, so that was 3. Same difference when it comes to fat white thighs. Sort of reminds me of Elvis eating chicken with Michael Jackson.

Ass: According to Jen, HUGE. Uggh i have a fat arse, and im not talking about the donkey i have in my backyard. And i'm supposedely a mass runner somemore... How logic defying.

Groin: No comment for this my progressively PG blog.

Torso: White and untanned. Deathly pale compared to my arms and hence unnerving and lagi grossgusting. Otherwise rather satisfied.

Arms: Palms too calloused, muscles (still) too small. Just don't expect me to pull an 'Etienne' here. Not THAT desperate...

Neck: Too veiny for its own good. Emphasises gauntness and grossness.

Face: OH DONT GET ME STARTED HERE. Long eyelashes, double eyelids, thick eyebrows, thick lips. I'm freakin Angelina Jolie, male-sonified. And uglier.

Hair: Suber fugged up. And i even intentionally typo'ed 'fucked' to emphasise how absolutely WRONG it is. I mean, who the hell gets born with two whorls that makes every hairstyle grow into a Friar Tuck lookalike?

---

Uggh that was quite the self-esteem booster. Of course, i have my own opinion of myself as do others of me. People tend to not remotely like the physical medium with which their spirit is conducted in.

Which brings me to another point in appearances. FISHING. My god its irritating. Its when good-looking and fine people constantly proclaim their pug-ugliness in public discussions and forums so as to receive rebuttals from their friends. 'Rebuttal' meaning receiving an indirect compliment in the form of disagreement and consolation, in a shameless self-promoting way. I HATE IT!

All people are born perfect. Some are just born more perfect than others. The diversity in beauty is just to let you appreciate your own body and to aspire to new heights of outward perfection. That or simply to let u waste the time away with your best friend Mr Mirror.



Blatantly fishing to... Ransom Letter - Pug Jelly

Of my Paper Fans, and to my Loyal Fans

Once again, same old same old commentary on my rather drab (not drag) day:

Skipped PE today due to my flu as i want to recover in the shortest time possible (read: tomorrow) to be able to go for volleyball trainings. I hear they're going to have the AGM and vote for the captains and such... Obviously, my skill, or lack thereof, will result me in playing the shephard-led sheep once again. Here's to hoping i get to be volleyball treasurer ay? I KNOW i'm up to it and i handle money very very well *smiles evilly*. Really. Jokes aside. STOP MOCKING ME!

Anyway, that aside, i learnt how to do the "RobustY Rotate-Y RavellY paper thing"! It involves a stack of roughly 30 A4 paper pieces in a neat pile. Placing the middle of the stack on one hand's fingers, one uses the other hand in what looks like a series of elaborate piano sequences in a left-to right wave-like motion on top of the paper. (OMG this is much much harder to describe as envisioned)

The result is that the entire paper stack fans out and eventually forms a small circle from all the individually spread out paper pieces. Its exactly like the thing they do for the grave spring-cleaning festival superstitious chinese celebrate. When they have to spread the hell money to burn. In offering to the demonic hellspawn. Hmm doubts on its practicality and significance brewing... At least its SO COOL!! Right? Right???

Arrgh. The creepy silence that thunders into my perpetually blocked ears (pressure build-up from the flu) speaks volumes about what any of you readers think... Humbuggers.

I actually hypothesised some scientific basis behind the entire action of the paper-fanning.

It is a transverse wave travelling in a circular, repetitive motion. Kinetic energy input in the form of the moving fingers provides for both the transverse wave motion AND the continually changing direction (an acceleration).

This would prove why this process requires more time (as work done = power x time) and hence more energy to maintain the motion. This energy is in turn lost in dissipative heat, the fanning and gradual spinning of the entire stack and the heat from friction (read: blister on the finger supporting the paper stack, ironically the middle one, which you must absolutely want to wave violently in my direction after reading this particularly droll entry).


Apparently a "fanning out paper stack". Google Images, go figure.


Aha, more like this, just with paper O.o

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In other events, I had ban mian today! It just wasn't the same without the chilli, so i just dumped my entire saucecup into it. WOOOOOHOOOO! Cough and phlegmy throat be damned.

The regurgitation i experienced later kinda made me want to retract that last statement. CHILLI OIL DOES NOT GET DIGESTED FOR A LONG TIME! Fyi. Just Fyi (for your imagination, fyi).

While wasting my time away at SRP (the sleep-inducing "How to Write a Scientific Paper", which i so skilfully demonstrated earlier E.e), Nubi cheonged out of the house when the gate was opened. Deducing from my grandmother's rabid exaggerations, he ran only as fast as lightning. Only to the near location that is Nanyang JC. Stupid dog... almost lost him. Must go huggies liao.

Finished updating my once-empty-profile. Its now so spangly and wordy! Will try to add a picture of me in all my gorgeousness (eech!) there asap!



Ridiculously cheerful to... Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake