Brutha-ly Love

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20050426

Mozzie Airbourne

Why do people stare at me in disbelief and mock horror when i mention that i single-handedely (literally) MASSACRED 18 mosquitoes last night?

As of late, my sisters' room has been getting its long-awaited and much-deserved face lift. An unwanted side effect, however, is that offered by the noxious and putrid paint fumes.

If mosquitoes were in any way related to me (not the bloodsucking, creepy crawlie aspects!), they would be just as adversely affected by drying paint!

The paint molecules must be jamming up their probisci or what not... This, paired with the blistering and sweltering heat of late (my air con goes down to 20 deg C only! SO HOT!) must have created the perfectly hospitable habitat in my room.

Also, the fact that i refuse to allow any insectivore's encroaching into my room fails to assuage the meandering mosquito matter. There can be only one animal at the top of the food chain that is dw's room... No dragonflys, no spiders and most importantly, no LIZARDS!

Anyway, because of all these cumulative factors, the mozzies are moving in with as full a swing as Michael Buble on a Viking ride. This is ASKING for a counter-offensive!

Picture the cool and collected Gaara from Naruto. He simply extends out a firm open hand and SQUISHES, resulting in the instantaneous sand smothering for anyone caught within the Sabaku Sou Sou (desert funeral). The same applies to me and mosquitos. With my left hand a mass graveyard for the mosquito bodies, all is dependent on the other to accomplish the nefarious acts of MURDER.

Squish, pick up remains, wash hands and in the meantime allow all the mosquitoes hum jeeing in the toilet to whizz into my room. Yet another vicious (literally) cycle in my life.


Sucker!


Thankfuly, there are many benefits coming out of murdering small impish creatures though. It was due to this coalescing of mozzies that i directed my Project Work Preliminary Ideas to that of eradicating their dengue-spreading (yet very very small) arses.

Also, especially satisfying is the environment of kill or be killed (or rather, bitten). This war-like environment makes the snuffing out of enemy lives extremely pleasureable and satisfying. One could die for the warm sensation one experiences when dealing with these cold-blooded biters (not talking about the warm sensations of scratched mosquito bites).

Furthermore... Hmm wait. What's that monotone humming in my ears?


ARM THE CANNONS! THE MOSQUITOES ARE COMING!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY'RE HERE ALREADY!!



Beat, smack, stake to... Breathe, Stretch Shake - Mase

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