Maisto Maestro

While awaiting what would turn out to be the stupidest movie of the year (right after Pooh's Heffalump Adventure), Nick and I decided to lend our china shop bullishness to Isetan @ Lido. Here, i initially intended to pick out a model toy car for a friend in an upcoming drama play, to present in place of roses.

However, while perusing over the myriad of car models, a particular brand caught my attention (through Nick, of course). It was MAISTO.


WOAH! (said because i can't think of anything else worthy.
SOOO SEXY! They're realistic, eye-pleasing and are modelled after cool PIMP/RAPPER cars! At least for this series i'm collecting. So far i have the 10 of Spades and King of Spades *hint hint to buy some for me*.

Well, thanks to this and several other reasons, i've restarted my love of cars and am trying to remember all their names once again.

Hua! My second childhood arrived early... That or I didn't even leave my first one :P

---

PS: Pray for Pamela's dog, who just got a heart attack. (THIS IS NOT A RANDOMM JOKE)



Carrying on an old addiction to... Prototype - Outkast

Pepper Lunch-Eon

After being thoroughly smitten by the explosion of tastes and spices within my mouth a week earlier, I was worried that Pepper Lunch @ Taka B2 would be a disappointment the second time around.

Feeling particularly bored DotAing my life away, I decided to meet up with fellow 'Pepper Lunchee' CW(eask) to delve once more into the pools of pwning pepper.


That lucky Peter Piper...
I ordered with great anticipation. My stomach was trembling with hunger; My teeth were aching to clamp down on delectables; My tastebuds were already spasming from memories of the last close encounter with the pepper kind.

Soon, a steaming terayaki-style hot plate was brought to our table. On it was a blood-red hamburger patty, 3 generous strips of chicken and a heap of tau gay, carrots and green beans.

Here came the fun part: Preparing your own pepper dinner.

I masterfully mixed the components, taking care to ensure that the meat stayed atop the vegetables to prevent charring (yes, it IS that hot). The custom pepper butter was already sizzling away, eating into the meats to give them their signature taste.

My eyes drifted over to the condiments that could either make or break the meal. A generous helping of Honey Brown sauce never hurt anything, while copious amounts of Garlic Soy Sauce would give me more than the FDA recommended intake of garlic. To top it all off, several (gazillion) sprinkles of pepper bombarded my hot plate.

After adding and mixing the rice in, even the plate looked good enough to eat. The choice cuts glistened alluringly in the soft lighting, the vegetables soaked up all the sauces and were magnificently speckled with pepper and the aroma... The aroma was pure heaven (not pure heavin').

Before i took my first bite, i prayed to God to calm my palpitous heart and to let Pepper Lunch live up to its preconceived notions.

I broke off a piece of tender chicken and scooped a generous portion of peppered/sauced rice into my spoon, finally deciding to take the plunge.

HOWEVER, IT DID NOT LIVE UP TO ITS EXPECTATIONS.

...

... It far surpassed it.

I desperately tried to imprint the emotions, the senses and the utter joy that came from eating Pepper Lunch into the deep recesses of my mind. When i'm frail and dying of some obscure disease in the distant future, i want to think back and fondly remember that "I had Pepper Lunch. My tastebuds were reborn that day".

Of course, stupid CW in his pink shirt and ugly Topman hat gave that memory a sense of cheap-ness.

Naah joking. Nothing, NOTHING, can remove the experience of Pepper Lunch.

I left contented. My tongue and throat were pleasantly simmering while my stomach was the fullest it'd been in a while.

SORRY SUBWAY, YOU'VE BEEN SURPASSED. So begins the Pepper Lunch-Eon...



Ending this endless ode to... Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down

Wound You Like to Know?

Since Nick's parents had gone golfing, he was left to stayover at my house from Sunday to Monday. As usual, we did our random destructive things, did some pre-midnight cycling and plopped down comfortably to sleep. The 2 extra bikes we cycled over on had to be returned the next day to Nick's somehow.

So came to be that on Monday, i was down with some light sniffles, and decided to skip the morning of school for better purposes. The best time to make my appearance in school would be for the 2 afternoon lectures of Biology and Chemistry. Or should I say Bloodylogy and Chemisbleed?

While cycling down, my sling bag got caught under my bicycle seat. This was extremely irritating and i attempted to dislodge it with one hand while still steering the bike.

BIG MISTAKE (As if you couldn't tell from all the dramatic buildup)!

I slipped off the concrete curb into the grass patch nearby, and when i attempted to steer it back on, the bike wheel mis-aligned with the curb, skidded and POOF! I was left sprawled on the floor, bleeding from several places. The bike wasn't left unscathed either, and it was Bent like Matchbox 20.

Anyway, since i know all you people out there are erythrophiles (blood-lovers, toopid), here are some pictures to lick your chops at:


Knee balukoo. It's malu, too.
Ankle sore. It's tangled, hor?


At least this abrasion isn't somewhere more... important.
Well, no pain, no gain (of grossed-out expressions).



2 High EEs, 1 Low EE to... My Beautiful Life - PLP

Because I Grew

Inspired by extreme bloatedness brought about by Subway... Or Church Tua Kee.

---

Because I Grew
(Sung to the tune of Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You", DL here)
[Verse 1]
I will not eat the citrus cakes I once did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way with Kit Kats felt so lard
I've cleaned the cheese tray, forever i eat, get that tart!!

[Chorus]
Because I grew
I'll never stray too far from the dark choc
Because I grew
I learned to stay off the waterslide
So i don't get hurt
Because I grew
I find it hard to resist
Not only ghee, but everything like green peas
Because I grew
Fats can cascade...

[Verse 2]
I hate my weight
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because of all that oilyness in my eyes
I'm forced to take a while to bath
Raw meat under my knife
I fart out jubilee steak
Since its only gonna add to my width

[Chorus]
Because I grew
I'll never stray too far from the dark choc
Because I grew
I learned to stay off the waterslide
So i don't get hurt
Because I grew
I find it hard to resist
Not only ghee, but everything like green peas
Because I grew
Fats can cascade...

[Bridge]
With scotch and rye
I heard it fry
Every meal was dirt cheap
It was far-flung
I should have known its better to have lean meat
I never thought, on everyone else
I'm leaving oil stains
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For my onion rings!!

[Chorus 2]
Because I grew
I cannot stay too long on the sidewalk
Because I grew
I learned today that the deep-fried
Makes my stomach hurt
Because i grew
I tried my hardest just to forget chicken wings
Because I grew
I don't know how to stop at just one shark's fin
Because I grew
I cannot tame my gut because it's empty
Because I grew
I have buffeted

Because I grew
Because I grew

---

Blacking around to... Because of You - Kelly Clarkson

Proverty

Hmm, ever wondered about the origins of proverbs? Aren't they the stupidest sounding things sometimes? I can't believe i'm admitting this, but only Chinese can pull off proper-sounding phrases (with the exception of the perversive English take on Confucius).

I'm feeling that our age-old adages are overdue for a modern update:

---

"A bird in hand is worth two in the bush"

Avian flu-infected chickens are better caught and culled as opposed to running around scot free and infecting the world, right? Very much better in your hand, i must say (stressed importance on 'YOUR'). That or "the risk of AIDS is not worth the fun of threesomes. Go solo".


"A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss"

Haven't you heard about Mick Jagger's failed attempt on Kate Moss' virginity? The age difference was just too great... No relationship can span millenia of difference.


"A stitch in time saves nine"

... Kilograms, that is. Have you tried eating after some massive appendicitis?? Running a mile or 2 mid-meal is the new diet plan, baby!


"All that Glitters is not gold"

Especially when you're talking about Mariah Carey's flop album and movie "Glitter". Come on lah, gold doesn't really even glitter in the first place...


"An Apple a day keeps the doctor away"

iPods, iMacs, etc... Just following up on the new products is enough retail therapy to negate many terrible diseases such as clinical depression and shopaholicism.


"Experience is the best teacher"

With experience in DotA, you get to level up, gain stat points and add skill points! What's more to like? T3h pWn@g3 w1LL c0n+iNu3!


"Dead men tell no tales"

Since its only the demigods and legends that do through autobiographies, bibliographies and other poly-random-graphies. Ever heard of 2pac and his 1369018 post-humous releases?


"Ignorance is bliss"

If you were smart and got your 4As/11A1s/36 points, you'd be branded with a cattle sear "BLINKING MUGGER TOAD", lose all your friends and social life and become a reclusive mountain hermit. That doesn't sound very blissful.


"Love makes the world go round"

Ok, so its technically due to the conservation of rotational momentum when the world coalesced from its gaseous constituents, but love counts as well :)


"Safety in numbers"

Everyone will always rely on an accountant or a tax collector. There's a future in the computational market since its demand can't go any lower!! All go NOW (then i can relax in my empty niche for chemistry :)


"Don't judge a book by its cover"

Please refer to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince hardcover and the Bible. SPITTING IMAGES!



Sitting with my legs crossed to... Hunter - Bjork

Black Eyed Freebies

BEP Goosdies!
Who says supporting the scandal-ridden NKF doesn't pay off (literally)?

Being a part of the Children's Medical Fund, I was invited to participate in a Black Eyed Peas CD album review contest. The goal? CREATIVITY in the album review (which i'm brimming with, besides teeth).

First prize were 2 tickets to the concert, which i was SO intent on bringing someone going.

Unfortunately, as fate would have it, i won second prize. The announcement of my win was so late that the tickets had sold out already even E.E

Never mind though, the freebies they gave ROCK!

BEP cap (which i wore today cause i didn't want to clay my hair up after bathing), Behind the Bridge to Elephunk DVD, AUTOGRAPHED Monkey Business CD, 2 badges and a gross MTV sling. Not shown is a tuakee poster that's on one of my cupboards now, beautifying my gloom room.

---

Anyway, life's been fun of late! I've found a fellow canine-afficionado, rediscovered my love for volleyball, discovered the amazing PEPPER LUNCH and got a freakin 'B' for Bio.

Never minds, all this will spur me on in the future.

Oh, and i'm going Genting with Congren/Haoyi/Tim/Pam/Sher too! Funfunalcoholgamblingfunfun!



Must pwn at DotA to... Love Song for a Love Song - PLP

The Old Saga Tree

Under that old saga tree,
With seeds of precious red,
We began our infidelity
And kept it quiet instead.

Growing ever the closer,
With vines of tangled twine,
We kissed till we had ulcers
And sipped on sensuous wine.

In sunlight we blossomed,
In moonlight we sparkled.
We pledged to stay together,
Braving bouts of bad weather.

Soon we approached fruition,
We were coming to a close!
It started off with some tuition,
Was watered with devotion,
Nourished with some emotion
And trimmed with reciprocation.

But...

Under that old saga tree,
With seeds of precious red,
We never began our infidelity
Going our separate ways instead.

---

Feeling rather $@(*&$^ up about the promos to... Welcome to Our Frequency - Parking Lot Pimp

RUCKING FAIN

Invert the 'R' and the 'F'. NOW!

Okay i'm getting this profound sense of deja vu. It's that same feeling you get whenever the world appears to SCREW YOU OVER.

Today's catastrophous calamity was brought about by the untimely precipitation of a hydro-vapourous substance (ie rain).

Volleyball training was due to resume today, and it's starting time were pushed from 4:30 to 3pm, then finally from 3 to 1:30pm. I left my DotA, changed and got ready on my bicycle at 1:10pm, happily anticipating the ride down and the training. Lionel even said that we will "dry the courts" for it rained in the morning.

Halfway into the trip, it started RAINING again. Oh my God you should have seen the felines and canines hopping all over the place... I cycled on a bit more before realising that i couldn't take it anymore, and went into the 2nd bus stop from my home to wait it out.

Things weren't much better here. There were 3 other people from RJC who were staring at me like i was some retard who decided to cycle to school in the rain, which i kind of was.

Wait, wait wait. The rain didn't subside, and in trying to keep to a bare minimum, didn't bring my handphone along. I thought 'AH WHAT THE HECK, I'M JUST GOING TO CYCLE HOME AND GET PNEUMONIA', which was what i did (not the pneumonia part hopefully).

Wet wet wet. I finally reached home and took off my soggy shoes, realising a bloody spot on my socks. That stupid wound re-opened... AGAIN. This got me even more pissed and i immediately went to bathe.

The troubles don't end here. Once i was all cleaned up and warm, the rain stopped and the brightest sunlight you can muster began shining its bloody arse all over the place.

Now i have to go and explain this to my Huan Ting, who so did not want people missing the first post-promo training. Sorry³³³!!

Shit lah, i feel like a failure now. A fat, hungry failure who lets his teammates down.


She's naked, and soaking wet. SHAKE IT LIKE A SALTSHAKER!



PISSING OFF to... Letter from Dreamland - Parking Lot Pimp

LUCKING FIGHTS

Invert the 'L' and the 'F'. NOW.

I JUST BLOODY WASTED 1.5 HOURS OF MY LIFE TRYING TO FIX THESE 2 FLUORESCENT LIGHTS. THESE SAME LIGHTS THAT (THE RETARDED CONTRACTOR) UNCLE POW SENG INSTALLED NOT ONE YEAR AGO.

Ok, let's take a deep breath *breathes*, and calm down.

It started last Sunday, when one of the ceiling-ish lamps blew. Weird, i thought, but since there were 2, DotAing was still fine, albeit a bit dimmer.

Then, on Tuesday, the other one blew as well. Coincidence? No. Poor worksmanship and using cheap materials? Sounds much more like it.

Without these 2 prime lights in my room, DotAing became a blindingly blinding affair. The lighting was so dismal that i had to turn on 3 different-coloured lights at different angles, which virtually negated the effects of good lighting once again.

Well, i couldn't stand it any longer. My father had already asked UPS to replace my lamps, but the stupid electrician/construction worker/retardos currently deconstructing my house and ruining it in the fine name of 'renovation' were too fucking lazy to do anything.

Today, i cycled down to the nearby mama shop AFTER i bathed to get the lamps, thinking it would be a short and swift affair. You know how much i hate getting dirty after bathing.

At first, i went down with the lamp specifications, which the shopkeeper did not understand. This ended up with me cycling back home to find the new tube several times its size. WARGH #1!!

I then cycled back while carrying both the new tubes AND the entire light casing complete with broken tube. I stopped by the mama shop for a refund, and discovered that they didn't have my exact one in stock cause it was 'too thin'.

This same excuse was re-hashed throughout Serangoon Central's multitude of 'provision shops' The only things they 'provided' were non-compatible wares, shoddy attitudes and bad directions. WARGH #2!!

Eventually, i reached an ulu corner shop that DID stock the tubes. I happily made my purchase and headed home. Unfortunately, my frustrations were not to end. School had just ended for Yang Zheng Sec and all the students were swarming the pedestrian crossing, making navigation with 3 fluorescent light tubes a FUCKING HASSLE. WARGH #3!

After much scuffle and sweating, i arrived back. I immediately pulled apart the free casing by force and attempted to shove in the new tube, not realising there was a terribly simple way to manoeuvre the tubes in. This led to me destroying the casing for one of them, and i'm not too scared to put it up lest it fall and shatter this precious brain of mine. WAAAAARGH #4!!

Not that i can, anyway. This small, insipid clip at the side was smushed by my screwdriver due to its extremely poor craftsmanship. Now the second tube can't even get attached back to the ceiling.

WAAARGHSGAKS!!!!!!

At least that one tube is sufficient for my computer gaming.



Never ever being a hardware man to... Test Drive - Parking Lot Pimp

What's Cooking?

Granola bars, to be precise.

Having been recently infatuated with the stunningness of Granola (blame Shawne, my elderer sis, who bought a whole chunk for Kar's Birthday), I went online to check out its nutritional information.

Rich in fibre? Check. Rich in proteins and poly-unsaturated fats? Check. Immensely tasty and sexy? Check check check.

It was then that i serendipitously (read: tyco) stumbled upon this site, which led to some serious sensuous sentiments...

Since today was a marking day holiday, I would have spent it stoning at home or in front of the computer (as is now). However, i gathered the resolve and decided to MAKE OUR OWN GRANOLA BARS!

Kar and I got down on the dancefloor to Junction 8 to shop for our muesli ingredients, and ended up with these beauties:


Yes, we ARE making hamster food. How did you guess?

There were almonds, hazelnuts, raisins, dried apricots, oat clusters, honey, yogurt, chocolate chips and of course, the GRANOLA that i hadn't already gorged myself on.

As that site was rather bereft of instructions, we decided to tikam it abit in the order of mixing, melding, moulding and making.

Our first batch was to be a plain honey fruit granola, which turned out to be a honey honey honey honey fruit granola. Our second batch was a yogurt fruit blende that even retains the yogurt-y taste and texture!


The stomping of the nuts wasn't as painful as it looks. However, the chopping of the scrota...


"... And a doll presides the 10th Annual Granola Fest..."
Oh and through this, i just found out one of the worst feelings in the world. MOULDING HONEYED CEREAL IN YOUR HANDS (clean, of course). It is akin to squishing vomit into cute and cuddly shapes.

Anyway, all my shapes were these huge amorphous lumps that kept on breaking apart. On the other hand (or rather, the hand of the other person), Kar's lovely lady lumps were actually cute!


The first and the second batches, with all rejects omitted for viewer safety.
And finally, ~TA DA~, GRANOLA!


2 hours + $60 + gooey honey hands = Hot Edible Beauties
YAY! Happy happy. Although that could be because of the sugar/honey high ;P

Edit: There is A LOT extra. So be warned, Dwayne may callously shove some into your mouth in the near future.



Nursing a full stomach to... Stand By You - The Pretenders

Dear Sis, Hap Dae You You

Well, so technically it's her birthday is in 1 hour's time.

What the heck, i'll just go on to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARLYNE! Or rather, HAP DAE YOU YOU**

She's turning 20 this year, and has been one of the best friends in my life. We would always find something random to talk about: Music, Naruto, Heavy Hands, health food or Nubi. It has been a fine 17 years (since that's how old i am)!

Well, yesterday had Nick and I shopping for her presents, and we couldn't decide what exactly. We wanted to buy something for her horrendously overpriced extremely cute doll, priced at a mere US$300. Something along the lines of a pet pig. (HI PAM!)

Unfortunately, with soooo many spasticated things we wanted to buy, we just set off getting her $x worth of handphone keychains. There was a total of 13, including boobies (not those that come in pairs) and some rather cute ones.


Key-tones cannot be alde-hidden.
They all have to stay on her phone for one week. AND we've all made a pact to call her every few minutes to see how she takes it out in public to respond.

When she's finally allowed to remove them, they should make some proper room decor though.


Soon to be renamed 'Armphone'.
Heheheheh. If you're amused at this, you should have seen the wrapping. We 'booby-trapped' a newspaper-made bouquet of flowers with marbles, and had the keychains bound extremely tightly inside a bag within. The flowers were so crappily made that we went to write 'Flower' on them, with "Hi, I am a flower, not a boat :)' on another (which was actually a paper boat. Hey, i can't fold anything that resembles a flower).


Sister de la Blister
Sweet/Carefree/Artistic/Gothic/Slightly deranged/AVAILABLE.

Tag this entry if you want her number ;) Or, you can actually BE dignified enough to stalk our house.

**Refer to the Dict-jian-ary.



Watering the vegetables in my stomach to... Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill

Of Broken Hearts and Bloodied Toes

I spent the whole day with Cheng Wei, one of my best friends from sec 4. This was only because he had NO ONE else to accompany him on his first official day of freedom, and i just followed him out of sympathy.

We went to watch Corpse Bride and 4 Brothers, the latter being surprisingly good. Had Subway, played the 'Recognition Game', where you (or rather, chengwei only) try to bump into the most friends while hanging at a crowded place. Well, obviously i won, with around 16 individual instances of group meetings. He was so pissed at his lack of human recognition that he made it a point to coincide with his 'friends'.

When he actually DID, he would go and shout from half the hall away, scaring them all into submission such that they pretended they didn't know him/thought he was retarded. Heh i just HAD to blog about this. Go and read his blog for his own biased perspective.

We also bought cereal, watches, yoghurt and bird-watching. We didn't BUY bird-watching, per se. Ah whatever...

Anyway, the true highlight of the day was...

ME STUBBING MY TOE ON THE SHARP BATHROOM THINGY!


I've always wanted stubble, but this is too much...
Of course, i didn't really care about it that much, so i rested by feet on the floor and continued SMSing. What i didn't realise, was that due to my twilight cycling, there was a rush of blood to my nether regions, and the resulting pool began spreading.


And the FBI drags away my limp body
Feeling rather amused by the copious amount of blood arising from the comparatively small wound, i left my foot on the ground and formed my own band, Puddle Of Bludd. Heh, sometimes i just punish myself.

Don't feel so sad for me though (and not for the fact that i make gross puns). Some good came out of it!


Toey the Bloody Smiley
After seeing all these pictures, i'm sure you must be as dead as me in this picture:


DOA. Must have been the gross toilet decor.
Or at least you will be after seeing my gross face in that picture. Or when you go to my profile.



Bleeding my lower functions away to... Roll Over DJ - Jet

Over, Over and OUT!

Well, what felt like it never began has officially ended.

The promotionals have peaked their performance, the exams have extinguished their exorbitant enervation. I am FREE! Not that i haven't been free during whatever 'study' period we had before that. All the DotAing, slacking, buayaing and the discovery of BATTLE ROYALE, the manga!

Battle Royale is DAMN PRO lah. Such a cool concept, such well-developed (both figuratively and literally) characters and scenarios exploring the relationships of the teenage student. Sigh, i must go and watch the movie again to see whether it lives up to the spectacular(ly gory and sexual) manga. Oh of course, i read everything we had, a whopping 13 books, over a non-stop 8 hour stretch yesterday. Talk about time-wasting before the exams...

Other than that, today, the majority of the 3N class cheonged Orchard after Math and painted it a bright crimson. Sushi buffet, pool, Dukes of Hazzard (which roxxes) and stoning around the Esplanade rooftop garden singing. Haizz slacking off officially officially rocks.

Time to top it off with some guilt-free DotA.



Finishing up the Triple Chocolate Crunch to... Drive Slow - Kanye West

I Am...

I am the guy who was conceived by mistake.

I am the son who made the most noise, got everything he wanted, the way he wanted, and was still unhappy. I am the son who has been much of an ingrate, much of an ignoramus and much of a bastard. I am the son who has been loved, but who has loved back insufficiently.

I am the grandson that has been unfilial, that has been disrespectful and that has snapped at you when you asked if i had eaten. I am the grandson that has weaseled much money out of you. Yet i am the grandson you keep boasting about. I am the grandson who feels guilty, and wishes that he can appreciate you for your remaining years with us, unlike what he did for another.

I am the child who grew attached to you the most, and when you had to leave, was scarred for life and has cloistered himself in ever since. I am the child who enjoyed snuggling and blowing air bubbles into your stomach. I am the child who was spoiled into being a corpulent know-it-all by you. I am the child that is now an expert at hiding his feelings, the child that can now be no longer called one.

I am the child that found God through your leave. I am the child that found newfound friends through religion, and by jove, what good friends these are. I am the child that self-reformed for your memory, to emulate all that you stood for.

I am the child whom you left familial hypercholesterolemia, detected at the tender age of 16. I am the hypochondriac that cannot bear to be anything less than perfect. I am the hypochondriac that discovered the beauty of vegetables and Subway thanks to your parting gift.

I am the child most calculative. The child supposedly out of his teenage angst, which he was never in in the first place. I am the child who has been scolded for being 'gei kiang' multiple times, even when i was correct. I am the child who has written poetry for your birthday, whom has always remembered birthdays and presents.

I am the brother who kept sneaking into your room without your permission, fueling the feud that still exists a decade later. I am the brother who grudgingly respects you. I am the brother that wishes the best for you, that wishes for you to be successful and happy, but knows that you are not. I am the brother that misses playing softtoys with you.

I am the guy that still sleeps with softtoys (5). I am the guy that needs 13 assorted sleeping aids. I am the Christian that prays to sleep every night, with the line 'a peace that transcends all understanding', so that his fears and failures would not prod at him.

I am the cousin that has been so abusive, so evil. I am the cousin that has been forgiven, without a grudge held. I am the cousin that is now so appreciative of your presence.

I am the friend that has no time, that has been too lazy or that has been too tau and cliqueish. I am the friend that has been generous, only to be taken advantage of. I am the friend that is sarcastic, witty and funny, but never together. I am the friend that enjoys putting others down to artificially inflate himself. I am the friend that wants you to know that you are so much better. I am the friend whom once made, will be forever loyal provided contact is maintained. I am the friend who has tried to reinvent, to be more sociable.

I am the friend who helps whenever he can volunteeringly. I am the friend who will sacrifice to an extent. I am the friend who will send you care packages, hoping for some form of recognition.

I am the true friend to at least one, my pet.

I am the owner that has no time for you. I am the owner who loves you very much, who wishes he could just let himself loose and get dirty. I am the owner who wants to just sit down and hug you for the entire day and lavish you with treats. I am the owner who looks at you tethered to the corner, pities you, then returns to the air-con to blog.

I am the blogger who wanted to be famous. I am the blogger who has been writing with an audience in mind, who wants your criticisms and compliments. I am the blogger who wishes to get attention, however controversially. I am the blogger who 'writes well', yet feels that he is too pretentious at times. I am the blogger that is dismayed by the lack of fame attained, the lack of fame sustained.

I am the blogger who wants to see people laugh. I am the blogger who lives to entertain, and entertains to live. I am the blogger who wants to chronicle his works so that he may enjoy it in the future. I am the blogger deemed the 'Hunkiest', to many people's dismay. I am the blogger who has learned his lesson, but still keeps wanting to get burned.

I am the son whom you thought was gay, the nephew you thought was bulimic, the person whom you thought was superficial. I am the friend you thought was buaya, the classmate you thought overate, the person who was deep deep down. I am the guy you thought was cute, the guy you thought was ugly. I am the friend you felt betrayed by in your most dire times of need, the friend you felt was there for you. I am the guy you thought had loose morals, and yet was rigidly upright. I am the person to go for all things 'academic', and that only. I am the guy that wants you to want him for something more.

I am the guy you know deep down.

I am...



Kopping the template from tomorrow.sg to... My Chrome - Killer Mike

Chemistry Liz

Well, besides the 3:30am DotA escapades, the 5-pm reaching home from Church, the Indian Vegetarian dinners and all, i haven't had much time to destress for the promos.

Until today.

I (re-)discovered the wonders of reliquishing lizards of their pitiful lives.

There was this one inside a drawer when i opened it. Shocked the hell out of me. It then crawled its ugly, albeit small, butt to the side of the drawer, whereby i stuck out my hand for a forceful push to close it. Alas! Le Lizardo met his dreadful fate, sealed eternally between the drawer-ways of heaven and hell.

This was on Friday, mind you. I checked the corpse, and there's a skeleton there! Cool! I think i'll go and frame it up or something. Never really CAN find lizard skeletons around the house right?

Then, there was the more recent encounter. While brushing my teeth earlier, I spotted a mischievous little thing frolicking in the shower (nono, not sexy mischievous little things). I quickly grabbed the shower head and pointed the nozzle at it, spraying out water at the highest of velocities to smush up its nude, nubile body.

To no avail, of course. These lizards are rather tough, see?

Anyway, i tried alternating between the extremes of hot and cold, assuming that the cold-blooded lizard would implode or something. No effect. I think i was more cold-blooded than it lorrz.

Finally, i just closed 2 out of the 3 nozzles. This effective threefold reduction in surface area resulted in there being a force of water 3 times greater (N3L), with which WOOSH! The lizard was literally blown apart. There was sinew here, a little bit of intestine w/ shit there, etc.

OMG so cool. I now have some bloodied lust for these adorabl(y) assailable amphibians. Where else to go to find them though... Hmm, my kitchen? Possibly. My toilet? DEFINITELY.

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Edit: Talking to myself in a blog entry, NOT GOOD. Dwayne, please maintain control of your mental functions.



So going to fail chem to... Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse