Proverty

Hmm, ever wondered about the origins of proverbs? Aren't they the stupidest sounding things sometimes? I can't believe i'm admitting this, but only Chinese can pull off proper-sounding phrases (with the exception of the perversive English take on Confucius).

I'm feeling that our age-old adages are overdue for a modern update:

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"A bird in hand is worth two in the bush"

Avian flu-infected chickens are better caught and culled as opposed to running around scot free and infecting the world, right? Very much better in your hand, i must say (stressed importance on 'YOUR'). That or "the risk of AIDS is not worth the fun of threesomes. Go solo".


"A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss"

Haven't you heard about Mick Jagger's failed attempt on Kate Moss' virginity? The age difference was just too great... No relationship can span millenia of difference.


"A stitch in time saves nine"

... Kilograms, that is. Have you tried eating after some massive appendicitis?? Running a mile or 2 mid-meal is the new diet plan, baby!


"All that Glitters is not gold"

Especially when you're talking about Mariah Carey's flop album and movie "Glitter". Come on lah, gold doesn't really even glitter in the first place...


"An Apple a day keeps the doctor away"

iPods, iMacs, etc... Just following up on the new products is enough retail therapy to negate many terrible diseases such as clinical depression and shopaholicism.


"Experience is the best teacher"

With experience in DotA, you get to level up, gain stat points and add skill points! What's more to like? T3h pWn@g3 w1LL c0n+iNu3!


"Dead men tell no tales"

Since its only the demigods and legends that do through autobiographies, bibliographies and other poly-random-graphies. Ever heard of 2pac and his 1369018 post-humous releases?


"Ignorance is bliss"

If you were smart and got your 4As/11A1s/36 points, you'd be branded with a cattle sear "BLINKING MUGGER TOAD", lose all your friends and social life and become a reclusive mountain hermit. That doesn't sound very blissful.


"Love makes the world go round"

Ok, so its technically due to the conservation of rotational momentum when the world coalesced from its gaseous constituents, but love counts as well :)


"Safety in numbers"

Everyone will always rely on an accountant or a tax collector. There's a future in the computational market since its demand can't go any lower!! All go NOW (then i can relax in my empty niche for chemistry :)


"Don't judge a book by its cover"

Please refer to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince hardcover and the Bible. SPITTING IMAGES!



Sitting with my legs crossed to... Hunter - Bjork