Paradoxicals

The sentence below is false.
The sentence above is true.

'What is a paradox?' I hear you guys thinking fervently and excitedly to yourselves. Is it two D-cup cows jiggling their udders? Is 'irony' hence the state of our blood? And is 'contradiction' the opposite of 'speaking'? (Note to self: Must have an entry on lameness)

As a matter of obvious fact, no.

Paradoxes are conflicts within and without, existing plausibly in the realm of thought yet distancing itself from logic and binding itself with irony. Simple word paradoxes do appear in real life, and to please catch some and stow them away in comments. I always lie, by the way, hence be cautioned about the bombardment of contradictions. I did remember once hearing about a barber who shaves everyone in the town who didn't shave himself. Quite a peculiar fellow. Neither here nor there in terms of whether he shaved himself or not O.o

Anyway, today, I heard from someone somewhere that gossip was a bad thing to do. I also vowed to start a new resolution of not procrastinating, but unfortunately can only start it tomorrow. In school today, I was telling several friends about my bounding supply of humility and modesty. Furthermore, I have no inclination as to the topic I am discussing and I don't know what the hey I'm talking about... Have fun deciphering this veritable cryptogram that is the English language.

Tapping my fingers to... I Believe in You - Jay Sean

Of Manliness, Or How I Want to Emulate CW's Style of Entry Naming

Theres one thing my diary has none of, and that's a general theme/style.

Some entries are in formal, perfect (as they can be, at least) English, while others are as if i spoke singlish, gibberish and 1337 all blended together like some camouflaged marine in a blender, or fruits in a jungle background (hmm... was it the other way around?).

Some entries are absolutely crude, distasteful and will only serve to hastily scare away all potential commentors (please comment! I crave attention and recognition, hence the occasionally outrageous articles).

Others are on philosophy, poetry and all things sophisticated. Sigh. I need some form of coherence, some underlying wirework within this whole blog. Sigh. I need to stop sighing, it apparently reduces your life span.

Anyway, here's a small titbit about the blog. There are small ever-changing nuances within the confines of the page. If you happen to chance upon one, post and I'll give you the reward of satisfaction, a very coveted prize indeed. Back to the main topic:

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Manliness
Many issues have been confusing me much about the state of manliness these few days. Volleyball? Peeing from the bottom leg of one side of your bermudas as opposed to the zip or from the top? Singing falsetto? Which are the very undesirable girly-wurly cases and which are the absolute "rather mannish" peeves?

Personally, volleyball = modo gay. Its a sport after all; Its fun; All guys who play it in TV advertisements and Baywatch (euugh) have tanned, buff bods. However, it's also a female-dominated activity (more eye-candy, huh?); very embarrassing when you say you're in volleyball main team; has very minimal exercise compared to soccer, etc. Sigh. The conflictions within this case gives it a modo gay rating. 'modo' being short for 'moderately', ICUDK. 'FYI' being short for 'for your information', ICUDK. 'ICUDK' being short for 'in case you didn't know'.

Peeing from the corner of your pants at urinals, now that's sick. Absolutely. No debate here. I mean, why are we degenerating into gross dogs by urinating this way? There is no recompense for people who claim its to prevent the spray into your pants. I'd rather have that any day, than to go and act like a kindergartner. This one gets a mondo gay rating.

Falsetto Singing is very rocking. I was a former soprano before puberty knocked over the vase of my voice and broke it to pieces. Very very gay if someone next to you does it though. What self-respecting man would go and devolve into a female? (heh jk). However, lots of money is involved in super 'settos, currently dominating the airwaves. Stars like the Darkness, JT, MJ, Usher are following the trend of falsetto screeching, and are laughing their girly asses to the bank. I sing very high - falsetto at church occasionally, preferring it to the monotone droning of the people around me. I need distinction, I need outstanding-ness. Was commended by some small kid for operato-ing 'I Simply Live for You' earlier. Still dodn't know how to take that comment O.o

Anyway, I do number 1 and 3 of those things, so i guess im an average of modo-gay. Thankfully not mondo-gay siah... Only one 'n' away.

Tapping my fingers to... ironically, Man's World - Jay Sean

New Best Friends

what the hell is a blockquote?

Righttt... Just tryin out some of the functions of the blog. Go check out the 'Yoke of the Day' and some of my frens blog links! Been a busy busy bugger these past two days (wah 'busy busy bugger' is my new catchphrase o.O), what with the moving into my newly renovated room and the shopping for my material friends, furniture:

Budget Deficits As of Today Only:

1. Got a new computer flatscreen monitor, aka Monicom. She be quite a cheap ho', costing only $320 for life, and seems to be performing her showjob very well. I am mesmerised by her smooth transparency-covered face, afraid that my crude and clumsy caress will desecrate whatever decency she has under that veil.
2. A new pet, my very own ceedeerannosaurus racks. Its fearsome teeth are currently clamped to my vast collection of long-playing phonographs, and it seems bent on just sitting there stoically, glaring silently at me. Guess i shouldn't have given it my CDs as a chewtoy. Was a cool $1.90 tho.
3. Ikea-nnels Φugly pink chairmaineΦ, and a bedside table Betty. They havent really introduced themselves to me yet, even though i was screwing the Betty all day. Honestly, i think they're very rude, and i shall have to disown Chairmaine for simply refusing to remove that ugly piece of whitish maroon frock (i wanted her black, and fit ladies only). Betty seems content with just sitting next to my bed, lending me her services so that i can stick all sorts of gadgets and toys in her. They were a whopping $150 together, luckily they both quite chio, or Chairmaine will be once I step her game up.
4. Mousey Tong! Former communist-turned-superhero living together in cramped conditions with hundreds of fellow brethren. I saved his tiny ass from the 3rd level of sim lim hell, and he's forever indebted to moi, wahaha! He has infra-red vision, extra-sensory navigational skills, and is not tethered by a power-dampening leash, even containing his own batteries! In his free time, i heard, he likes to fight for the right to be nearer his very vivacious (read: curves) counterpart, Alicia Keyboard. Had to fork over $30 for this miniature marvel.
   

I'm sure these guys will provide me with much comfort and company for the months to come! I just hope the bonds of our friendship dont break down (friends = good, but repair cost = bad).

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Disclaimer: dw DOES have friends, however appalling an idea as this may seem, outside his bedroom. He also knows that he is VERY sad to go and describe his furniture in this way.

Tapping my fingers to... I've Just Begun (Having My Fun) - Britney Spears

Me Agains: The Music

*UPDATED*

Recently, or rather after attaining hi-fi CD player status, i became a collector of authentic CDs. This was roughly start of this year, after i got 3 CDs from my sisters for my birthday. An avid fan of music (Rap, hip hop, RnB or so lovingly dubbed 'nigga music'), i'll even provide the best 2 songs/album for your (or my) pleasure!
Here, i shall rate my current possessions (lvl 1s being highest):

uber-PWNAGE lvl 1s:

• Elephunk - BEP (Smells Like Funk, Anxiety, mostly all)
• Moodring - Mya (Things Come and Go, Sophisticated Lady, mostly all)
• This is Not a Test - Missy E (Keep It Movin, ... Weave, mostly all)
• La Belle Mafia - Lil Kim (Thug Love, When Kim Say...)
• R&G: The Masterpiece - Snoop D (Pass It Pass It, Signs, Step Yo Game Up)
• In The Zone - BSpears (I Got That [Boom Boom], Showdown, Outrageous)

High lvl 2s:

• College Dropout - K West (Never Let You Down, Spaceship)
• Doggystyle - Snoop D (Who Am I, Whats My Name? Aint No Fun...)
• The Neptunes Present... Clones - Nep (Light Your Ass on Fire, Put Em Up)
• Speakerboxxx - Big Boi (The Rooster, Bowtie, Church)
• Tasty - Kelis (In Public, Keep It Down)

Low lvl 2s (but still good:):

• Justified - JT (And She Said..., Last Night)
• Sweat - Nelly (Tilt Ya Head Back, Heart of a Champion)
• The Love Below - Andre 3000 (Dracula's Wedding, Happy Valentine's Day)
• Under Construction - Missy E (Slide, Funky Fresh Dressed)
• The Black Album - Jay-Z (Lucifer, Justify My Thug)
• Still Writing In My Diary - Petey P (Jam Y'all, Vibrate)
• Bridging the Gap - BEP (Tell Your Mama Come, Hot)
• Fly Or Die - N.E.R.D (Backseat Love, Wonderful Place)
• Dangerously In Love - Beyonce (Hip Hop Star, Signs)
  

Lvl 3s (crap pls, dun buy, just dl the recommended song):

• Kamikaze - Twista (Overnight Celebrity, Drinks)
• Love & Life - Mary J Blige (Let Me Be the 1, Not Today)
• Confessions - Usher (Caught Up, Yeah)
• Kings Of Crunk - LJ (Nothin's Free, Throw It Up)
• The Soul Sessions - Joss Stone (I've Fallen In Love With You, Some Kind of Won...)

kks... Hope that helped you or at least inspired some of the fraidy post-anti-piracy-law Singaporeans to go and DL one or 2 of these songs O.o

Past 2 Days, What to Say?

Definitely trippin over these mushrooms

In lieu of lipid laze,
In view of mental haze,
Poeticise events I shall,
As "personal info" compells.

Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed to joy and play.
Scho-ol trundled by so low-say,
Oh I despise,
Yesterday.
Yesterday,
V-ball's end time seemed so far away.
Those 5 hours they were there to stay,
Oh, Ah! The aches, from
Yesterday.

*bitch* "Don't hug me, you're fat!" *bitch*
"its contagious!" *bitch*
Said my mother, mind of sages
To a weird boss of hers.
In a line eternally remembered.
My next pop song, dismembered.

The diurnal future's past is the now.
Uneventful, un-un-ique so how?

All ballas gotta do it to the beat
strike that hard lik thugs on da street
bugs to da beeech, launch on the pitch
Cap'n crunch wuld be prouda his bawl
our class outclassed other classes
down to a crawl.
Lecher lectures 'lected defected,
lessons do some *%$^ up our ass'ns
know i gotta go perfect my rapp'ns
next time all the niggaz be callin,
i be brawlin, mauling.
till then ill see ya'll in heav'n
cos God sure wants skilled/killed/illed rappers in 'ell

Looking Out for Outlook

This is utterly crap-assed. As everyone knows (or will now), i am quite the perfectionist that never wants to fail or be threatened with failure in any aspect. Must be something to do with the pressures faced in bb leadership O.o.

The day passed finely albeit slowly. The only memorable period was the very slack chinese where jen and i were singing a multitude of falsetto songs, even when we were in the front row! Sigh so amusing that certain ppl recognised jen in the canteen cause of this.

Volleyball was after school, but not before a frantic chase arnound the school and council room to find the Rafflesian Outlook (monthly newspaper publication thingy) president. this potentially worrying disaster was started simply because i didn't enter my particulars on the outlook application sheet during CCA feste, and so wasnt invited to join some yahoogroups and was unable to contact them and send them my (voluntarily done) 300+ word essay.

Well, i finally managed to call the guy, and guess what, i couldnt send the file once again to his bloody new email address (ps help moi bomb msgunner@yahoo.com. Will remove link when i get into outlook lol). This was followed by more frantic calling up my sis to help me send the email and attachments. All's well that end's well.

NOT

Stupid thing didn't get sent again... AND i had to chain call 5 ppl to try and get the guys number, to which he never replied to my messages and stuff. SIGH. i want to be a writer in outlook. fun fun, then immediate exco position. SIGH

Anyway, on to volleyball: trials part deux were today, whereby i utterly screwed up all 4 stations of digging, skipping rope, running and jumping, jumping to block. Arrgh. Felt like utter shit and that i had to go and find a new cca whereby there were lik, none available. then outlook, my backup plan, was also failing.

HOWEVER, when we were leaving and i was ranting that i was going to get pwned, one of the JC2s came running up and asked if i could join them for training tmr O.o. i was like, WTF. Anyway, confirm luck luck jarjar liaos. Thank God.

Now, if only i could solve the outlook issue...

BB Boy

Wah gossip is the new IN thing now siah... with so much of it floating around, asthmatics should be on high alert... so suffocating O.o

A guy i know and like as a friend knows a friend he likes and is a guy. A girl someone i know likes and knows as hopefully more than a friend likes and knows another girl another friend hopes likes him. an m-less dog on tv actually has an eye for a guy too. crush this crush that, sooner or later someone is going to get crushed.

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Ok enough with the abstract shite... Just remembered my very very very amusing parody (hmm, self-praise is no praise, so its my very unamusing parody) of Beyonce's 'Baby Boy' i wrote a while earlier... here it is, in all its glory:

BB Boy
Sung to the tune of Beyonce's 'Baby Boy'

(Jon Ng's Rap)
Come here and torture me
All dat da boy dem need and them not stop cry without eulogy
Muck yous the wrong way - That our policy
Jon-than Ng alongside BB's say
Dirty ya, Dirty ya'll, Dirty ya, Dirty Ya'll
BB newb sing it now, ya?

(Innocent BB boy's Sing)
(Chorus)
BB boys you waste my time,
You give me lots of pain.
I'm forced to see you all the time,
It gives me lots of shame.

BB boy not a day goes by
Without my agony.
Im forced to see you all the time,
It gives me lots of shame


(Verse 1)
AAH! OOH! Crap BB shit BB OH!
*Whip* *Slash* Hurt me so bad BB OH!
I'm so wrapped up in bondage, let me go!
Let me be, stay out of my life daily!

(Rap)
Ya ready gimme da ting dat ya need i mean money
And tell me about da excuses that you will improvise
I know you hate da way me boast da way me flash my pride
Ignore your feelings BB boy becos they so can be a lie
Give check us everyday and we make you rise up in size
We have da bling to pull da string so I'm go sleep, I'm go hide
And in the words of Ong, We got ta JM Fraser Gold
So I give you da toughest, sure and stedfast, rite - boy


(Chorus)

(Verse 2)
Picture me bein real free,
In a happy saturday ev-en-ing party.
Everytime I close my eyes,
Its like you're haunting me subconsciously.

On our own special time,
The noon has just begun.
The school grounds become the scene
Feels like, true suffering to me!


(Chorus)

BB boys, you waste my time.
BB boys, this is such a crime.
BB boys don't you go pine
BB boys: 'lets go ruin it'

(Rap)
Top up, boy
Money time together is a ass-et, boy
Begging around the town with donate card, boy
You don't act shocked, boy.
Little more money, we'll rock that world.

(Chorus)

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Note: This is not meant to be offensive in any way, its parody for parody's sake. Ok and maybe some BB frustration venting.

its a bird, its a plane... no, its FLYING TIME!

omg, livejournal really should be renamed lostjournal lor... I just found out that my old password and account name worked for this O.o

Anw, quick recap for the 8 months gone by without any update:
Topped sec 4 midyears, prelims, O's were fun but v sian and anticlimatic. Got dengue (weeha hospital food pwnzorz). Got a new dog Nubi (cutest dog of the cutest breed: husky), new handphone, new MP3 Player (zen touch.. buggy wif the shock-resistance tho), new room-to-be, and tons of new songs. NEW SCHOOL in RJC which is rather pwning, surprising for an acsian lik moi... OG rox, class rox, japan and china roxed, wah must mega mass a dictionary for all u incompetent niggzins on the EFers' tappoz vocab O.o (betcha didnt understand one bit o that).
Okok end of this bridging the gaps recap, time for the day's journal, coming to a screen near you (roughly 1 foot actually)