The Perfect Mosquito

One quick glance at the title of this entry, and you may have been struck by a mental condensate of the word 'OXYMORON'.

"There is no perfect mosquito!" you vehemently argue. "They live as flawless mechanisms of irritation, what with their small size, quick speed, taste for blood and tendency to leave behind an untolerable itch of immensely scarring proportions."

But now, after deep thought (and deep penetration, mozzie lah!), i present to you my top priority project once I begin my career as a geneticist: Designing the perfect mozzie!


The Mosquito of the future, looking quite the same as the one now...
Legend of Genetic Modifications:

1. A series of fine hairs are forcefully grown on the mosquito's appendages. These can act as miniature brushes to remove the microscopic dirt particles off us whenever they feed. A MUST for sunburn skin peeling! Furthermore, these hairs can act as some sort of sensual tickler to warn the victim of his uninvited parasite. The victim can then choose to kill it, or enjoy the pain (itching) with the pleasure (tickling).
2. The proboscis is noticeably enlongated so that instead of penetrating our blood vessels, it penetrates our SUBCUTANEOUS FAT layers (woo!), effectively giving us a mini-liposuction whenever they uninvitedly sap us. An added benefit is that the mosquitoes will become obesely corpulent, and will be easy target practice for our clapping palms. Who would want to kill them though, if they sucked away at our fats?
3. In order to digest its new primary dietary substrate, fat, the mosquitoes will have to undergo some physiological changes to its gut. Lipase will have to replace various proteases in the stomach, and the resulting mixture will be too toxic for malarial pathogens to survive! Also, the stomachs of mosquitoes should start producing aspirin alongside their nefarious anti-blood-clotting agents. After the deed is done, the bite won't itch thanks to the injection of aspirin into the puncture wound!
4. Finally, the mosquito's wings are given a multi-chromatic makeover with colours ranging from pink to green (insert). These would give them an almost hypnotic allure as they annoyingly buzz around our heads. Heck, why not give them luciferase for fluorescence too? Then they can usurp those useless fireflies' niche AND give us some quality hypnotherapy.

---

Sigh, the things i will do to NOT get bitten 9 times while sitting on the toilet bowl before i bathe. Sigh, the things i will do to NOT have to massacre 30++ mosquitoes in one night.



I am what i eat, to... The One You Love - Glenn Frey