Ego Yokes, High Cholesterol Part 3

Its back, its bolder, and its BLACKER! Part 3 in an ongoing series chronicling and explaining the sheer complexity that is the Yoke of the Day. The Yokes are but a tiny snippet of the bounding creativity (read: randomness) prancing around Dwayne's mind in miniskirts. The creativity, not Dwayne's mind.

This session ranges from late march to approximately early May. Have fun trying to find some relation between the entry of the day and its corresponding Yoke (<--- that was my sorry excuse for not actually dating the Yokes...)

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• Creative juices forced out of all orifices... (My Zen Tua Kee died. I was distraught. Could there be any worse Yoke??? Stop laughing. Old Zen, i mourn for you)
  
• New magazines 'Entertain Me Weakly' (Dozing off once too many while reading Blender and Discover, my normally fav mags)
  
• One day, Buddha walked into a pizza shop and said
  "Make me one with everything." (one of Congren's better jokes. No one really gets this at first, but it rocks!)
  
• Shit happens
  Weight lessens (Diarrhoea. HAHAHA. Diarrhoea. HAHAHA. Nothing cracks up an audience more than shitty jokes)
  
• Once you've played with other people, you wouldn't want to go back to playing with yourself. (A very crude reference to... ONLINE GAMING! Nothing sick, you pervy closet pornkings)
  
• Tickle-Me Emo. (The new toy from Hasbeen. Chokes/Cries/Sobs out a plethora of cool and potentially unnerving phrases when you pull its noose string!)
  
• These girls too purty
  To get down to the nitty titty,
  I mean the nitty gritty,
  I mean her titty pretty
  (WAHA this line in Brooke Valentine's Girl Fight made me love the song and hence propagate it to the world before its release)
  
• The lightbulb must want to change itself. (punchline for 'How many psychologists are required to change a lightbulb?')
  
• An apple a day makes the fat all stay (OMG i had just completed my puzzle apple, only to find it missing a crucial piece. In doing so, i slept at 2:30 am on that school night)
  
• Fine, be that way. (Tio bah drinking bubble tea in MRT station. Slapped with an immaterial bill for $500 [aka a false, trauma-inducing threat]. OMG 'Material Girl just started playing on my Zen TK)
  
• Please do not mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection. (Despo Hwives >>> you niggins. Bree >>> u niggins)
  
• The wider you cast your net, the larger the holes to slip through. (Woo words from the wise. My quote, by the way. I was referring to girls once again while trying to console some bereaved soul)
  
• Selective omissions make (Don't me don't get this?)
  
• Stealing the wrong type of hearts. (Woowoo discovered a rather purplish secret about someone today. Stupid Bentay, you ARE a good friend siah)
  
• pV=nRT does not apply to ass flatulence. (Ideal Gas Law!! Chem rocks, even though it'll pwn me in the CTs. That statement is actually rather true since flatulence has some of its energy converted into sound energy and... You get the [excretory] drift)
  
• CDC-certified Quarantine Zone: All Gossipleptics to remain on site. (Heh gossipleptics. Something else along the line of Typohoid now siah... Refer to Sat, April 12th)
  
• Immaterial, immaterial girl (Complaining to Max on how unfulfilling her life is. Wahey, 'Material Girl' was playing then and just ended now. Oh and 'immaterial' was a cool word i came across on the short-lived revival of the Dictionary Project)
  
• High on ass crack. (Don't blame me, i was high when writing this)
  
• Flog Blogger (Bloody %$&#^ hung on me during a roll of an entry)
  
• The Life of PI (Project Work and its intricacies haunt me as we Singaporeans furiously draft out our PIs, or Preliminary Ideas)
  
• ACBCEFG... (The first 4 letters spell out WHOSE nickname?)
  
• Aay boy, wanna go toilet shiok shiok? (Haha Linus recounts his friend's experience with a gay lecherous construction worker at midnight in an ulu train station... Ok too much info there)
  
• Confucius says: You go to jail, bad boi! (Woo! Russell Peters before he became famous and mainstream! Thx Daryl!)
  
• i'm probably writhing in bed trying to sleep. try me when i'm not away. (jeremy's very gross MSN 'away' auto-message. It has left a mental imprint too scarring to describe)
  
• I HAD a yoke of the day.
  Just keep on bloody forgetting.
  Neither a joke nor a fray.
  A memo i must be getting
  (woowoo poetry plus pls. Its self-explanatory, FYI.)
  
• Dieting is the slacker's way of losing weight (It MAKES SENSE... REALLY!)
  
• What do philantrophists call 'water'?
  The Solvation Army (Spur hur... Chemical Energetics was the topic being taught.)
  
• What do doctors call 'kissing'?
  Liposuction (Spur hur part 2... Blame this on my lameness)

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John Lennon has his Yoko Ono, I have my Yoke-o, Day-old.



Frying some Yokes to... My Nutmeg Phantasy - Macy Gray