New-rAge Therapy
As some of you may have noticed, i have been eerily emo the past few days.
When the homework piles are vertigo-inducing; When the dependency on a cyber-gaming high cannot be curbed; When the performance in all aspects of life are deteriorating; When the world is essentially tumbling on you as does a porridge-container, ONE DESTRESSES!
So, what do I do when i'm down in the dumps, picking through emotional trash like a vapid vagabond?
I immerse myself in the patented Self-Administered Depression-Impairing Super Therapies©! SADIST is also a registered trademark of Dwayne's sickeningly twisted mind (doubly beneficial!)! Don't worry about my health, they've been proven effective in primates!
The Stationery Shopping Stimulation
This programme involves thevictim patient undergoing a huge $25 shopping spree for banal stationery! There are Vision Elite 08 Refills, stapler bullets, Uniball Bold Black/Red/Blue-Black/Lilac, erasers and even ink stamps ceremoniously screaming "CANCELLED"!
The stressed therapee (haha. pun.) would be able to vent some frustration as he tackles real-time problems, such as "2 Blue extra fine refills for G-2, or 1 new Uniball Saver Extravaganza Value Pack?". A sense of ownership is also fulfilled as he crams all 316968 refills into his pencil box while boasting proudly togrossed-out people friends on his new uber-sexy purchases!
I went through this on Tuesday, but it wasn't as effective as normal. Hence, i proceeded to...
The Non-Subtlety of Bubble T
Aromatic fragrances, delectable tastes and hazardously fattening substances to line a bloated tummy! Conversely, converse with friends and socialise as you sip a tangy Prune Orange Milk Tea w/ Pearls*, or a Coffee Mango Ice*!
The immediate happiness and contentment is a natural side effect. The sugar high, the honey high, the saccharine high and the syrup high have absolutely nothing to do with this.
*Do not judge the tastes of the therapists. Especially if you've beensabo'ed treated by another individual's sadistic 'preferences'*
Extreme Cybergaming Self-Help
An influx of endorphins, a burst of adrenaline. A dose of vivid and disturbing dreams, a desire for revenge and retribution over mere pixels. Definitely the BEST way to calm an angsty person!
Self-help yourself to 3 hours of DotA on weekdays when you earlier swore to refrain! Self-help yourself into a frenzy over how much work you have yet to accomplish! Self-help yourself into a tiresome addiction whose roots of entanglement cannot be so easily pruned!
Well, as a result of the SADISTic courses i've undergone, i'm much happier now. One way to gauge my jubilance is to observe the frequency and effectiveness of puns i churn out. PUNy mortal! (hmm, i guess im not that happy yet...)
There's also the everyone's-at-chem-remedial-so-i'm-free-on-mondays-and-fridays factor, but thats really minor. Really.
:D
Laying on the Maths to... Gin and Juice Remix - Snoop Dogg
When the homework piles are vertigo-inducing; When the dependency on a cyber-gaming high cannot be curbed; When the performance in all aspects of life are deteriorating; When the world is essentially tumbling on you as does a porridge-container, ONE DESTRESSES!
So, what do I do when i'm down in the dumps, picking through emotional trash like a vapid vagabond?
I immerse myself in the patented Self-Administered Depression-Impairing Super Therapies©! SADIST is also a registered trademark of Dwayne's sickeningly twisted mind (doubly beneficial!)! Don't worry about my health, they've been proven effective in primates!
The Stationery Shopping Stimulation
This programme involves the
The stressed therapee (haha. pun.) would be able to vent some frustration as he tackles real-time problems, such as "2 Blue extra fine refills for G-2, or 1 new Uniball Saver Extravaganza Value Pack?". A sense of ownership is also fulfilled as he crams all 316968 refills into his pencil box while boasting proudly to
I went through this on Tuesday, but it wasn't as effective as normal. Hence, i proceeded to...
The Non-Subtlety of Bubble T
Aromatic fragrances, delectable tastes and hazardously fattening substances to line a bloated tummy! Conversely, converse with friends and socialise as you sip a tangy Prune Orange Milk Tea w/ Pearls*, or a Coffee Mango Ice*!
The immediate happiness and contentment is a natural side effect. The sugar high, the honey high, the saccharine high and the syrup high have absolutely nothing to do with this.
*Do not judge the tastes of the therapists. Especially if you've been
Extreme Cybergaming Self-Help
An influx of endorphins, a burst of adrenaline. A dose of vivid and disturbing dreams, a desire for revenge and retribution over mere pixels. Definitely the BEST way to calm an angsty person!
Self-help yourself to 3 hours of DotA on weekdays when you earlier swore to refrain! Self-help yourself into a frenzy over how much work you have yet to accomplish! Self-help yourself into a tiresome addiction whose roots of entanglement cannot be so easily pruned!
Well, as a result of the SADISTic courses i've undergone, i'm much happier now. One way to gauge my jubilance is to observe the frequency and effectiveness of puns i churn out. PUNy mortal! (hmm, i guess im not that happy yet...)
There's also the everyone's-at-chem-remedial-so-i'm-free-on-mondays-and-fridays factor, but thats really minor. Really.
:D
Laying on the Maths to... Gin and Juice Remix - Snoop Dogg
Came, Saw and Conquered by dw 7:02 PM
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