Chapter 2: Shedding Crocodile Tears

After clarifying your inherent genus, you should have a rough gauge of which fowl creatures to aim for. Here are several strategies that never appear to fail, just make sure they aren't seen as crocodile tears!

1. Offer them Subway cookies under the guise of you having extra. Besides the fact that everyone loves Subway, or should at least, they will think that you are generous and magnanimous, as opposed to absent-minded and greedy (to have an extra cookie in the first place). Furthermore, if they read further into it with the saying "you are what you eat", they will falsely (?) conclude that you are sweet, delicious and a bit nutty. Oh and that you are a chunk of sexual chocolate.
2. Clear their yong tau foo trays.
3. Engage in witty banter (but not too witty!) with them over electronic media, so that they cannot see your disgusting face and all that drool... Eww.
   
4. Become subconsciously selective in your choice of friends. Note: This is hard! Care not to have excess swivelling of eyes/hips, for these are commonly associated side-effects. Oh and choose only chio people to befriend/help.
5. Pay for the movie. If they insist on paying you back, accept it but gracefully sneak it back into their *insert random compartment*. An unglam option is their Physics TYS.

Soon, you'll win her heart (and other tasty vital organs)

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Back to the Buay-sics.