Red (Hot) Alert 2: Aftermath

I thought yesterday was bad. There was the flood of SMSes when i got home (yes, i forgot my phone on the day where it semi-counted), the raging tempest of conversation windows in MSN and the awkward recognition by Subway counteress. At night, the whole group of EFers changed their MSN display names to reflect things along the lines of 'I KNOW SINGAPORE'S HUNKIEST BLOGGER'.

Uggh.

Yet, there was to be another hurdle in a line of many. Being the geniuses they are, the authors at the Straits Times conveniently went and put the name of RJC in bold next to that photoshopped abomination of me. This was an invite, complete with R.S.V.P., for tons of regaling and teasing, stares and laughing (at, not with).

Yaaaaar! How the hell in the world did i, introvert extraordinaire, manage to get past this dreaded and wretched day in school?? Ok, maybe i'm not fit to be classified under 'extraordinaire', but nonetheless, i AM an attention whore who doesn't know what to do once i've wooed attention and had all her assets fully whored.

I went to school relatively unknown. Only the occasional friend came up and said 'Hey! Weren't you in the papers yesterday?' to which i grinned in sheepish consent. I started some small conversations and managed to tide the time until assembly started.

The class then began to beleaguer me, cracking jokes such as 'wah so hunky then can go and criticise xyxyxy already ah?'. It wasn't actually painful yet, but there was PE to dread. PE, the heavenly harbour of the hunk. Surely i would do something magnificently stupid, such as tripping over a millipede that i tried to stomp.

I breathed a sigh of relief as PE went by without a hitch. There was only Psycho Tan occasionally making some obscure and random reference to blogging, and me not being as dark as the photo ("It's the club lighting!!"). Touch rugby was fun and i even managed to score 2 tries alongside Rilong.

As recess ended, i was thinking that nobody important enough must have seen the article, and lulled myself into a false sense of security about the entire issue. We had 2 lectures in a row after recess. 2 extremely disastrous lectures.

WWAAAARGH! RILONG! JEN! HAOYI! OMG!

*straightens tie and neatens hair after that violent outburst*

It seemed that they had warmed up enough in their foolery and harlequinade, and i was providing the perfect test subject.

They very ceremoniously told the lecturer that "Singapore's Hunkiest Blogger" was sitting a mere two feet in front of them. The teachers then went and announced it to the ENTIRE lecture theatre of 400(?), after which my class broke into thunderous applause. I actually turned around and waved at the crowd, since my class of 3N was sitting right in front.

This. Happened. Twice.

After feeling rather betrayed and ravaged, i followed Jen down to the canteen to collect the pizzas for Bryan's birthday. BIG MISTAKE. Most people were already dismissed and in the canteen, queueing up and displaying all the qualities of mindless corporate drones. If there's one thing that will make people look at you, its if you're grossgustingly dubbed "Hunkiest Blogger". If there's another, its holding 2 large pizzas in your hand and rushing through the canteen peak hour.

1 + 1 in this case = 1000 stares. ARRRRGH Jen and I were practically sprinting back to the class, with me exclaiming how bloody embarrassing this was.

There was to be no reprieve in PW class, as the teacher, without prior pompous prompting, ARROWED me as i was walking in and said something about newspapers, to roaring agreement of the entire class.

The pouring rain was ominous, but NOT for my impending Chinese AO Listening. It was for the extremely painful time in the canteen where there were random groups of people staring/pointing at me. This was followed by the undeniable action of giggling and laughing (though i'm inclined to think it was the latter). On a good note, some people DID do nice stuff such as congratulating and whatnot...

In case you wondered, the Listening was lagi easy! I got exactly the same answers as half the class and well... its chinese, so i have a right to be unnaturally happy.

All in all, I can't help it if i'm uglier (read: significantly less tanned) in real life than in newspaper photos taken in shoddy lighting :P

Still, 293 + 715 individual IP address hits yesterday can't be too bad for the undercover attention seeker ;)

In case you didn't notice, the 'events' were made like the terrorism warning system and coded in terms of increasing intensity. Also, some of my MSN display pics may lead to chronic retching, so beware.



Chasin away the haters to... Bingo - M.I.A.