New Housing Theory Proposed

July 3, Neuters - The hypothesis of Spontaneous Urban Collapse (SUC) has just been proposed to the International Science Committee at the United Nations World Bank conference. The theory involves a linear relationship between incidences of settlement collapse and the rate of accumulation of unnecessary products and redundant expirants (read: trash).

Abodes tend to undergo spontaneous crumbling when exposed to excessive trash

This brainchild of a hypothesis was formulated by the great, the esteemed, the respected yet unbespectacled, the revered, the... (you get the drift) Dr. Dwayne Wang after he serendipitously noticed some decay inside his cousin's overstocked wash closet. This evidence was corroborated almost immediately as he reminisced about his LAGI CRAMPED &^#%^ HOUSE which had paint peeling and walls cracking.

This is the result of a more items flowing into houses rather than out, or a net input of mass into them. The extra load is simply too much for shelves, tables and complex architectual infrastructure, and the housing cell will implode under its own massive gravitational weight.

SUC spells much chaos for contractors, architects and renovators (and maids), especially as they have to undergo excessive labour (non-pregnancy related, but still just as wet). This theory is expected to revolutionise the slave foreign-labour industry and provide third-world countries with a much needed boost to the economy. As first-world countries will primarily be the ones affected (read: the rich bastards hoarding items), the repurcussions are predicted to level the industrial playing field.

There is but one solution to avoid pre-mature house collapse, STOP BUYING AND STOCKPILING UNNECESSARY, EXPIRED SHIT IN YOUR ROOMS AND HOUSES.

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My god i'm just so peeved when i see excess trash lying around.



Detoxing to... Thap Sum BONG! - Russell Peters