Elitism
The group of friends i hang around with are a bunch of elitist snobs (me included, but others rarely). We are the stereotypical clique, the epitome of exclusiveness and intolerance personified all rolled into one fine dough croissant and baked to perfection.
We are known (or feared) as the EFers - Extended Family-ers. Fret not, we did not choose the extremely pansy and anti-climatic moniker (adults did, but that's also besides the point). We are so hyper-exclusive that acceptance, let alone entry, into the association is as rare as a holofoil Charizard (read: scarce and valuable).
We persecute one and all. From irritating cousins to effeminate fg (x)s, from dua kees to various racial ethnicities (although we're not rascist, i think), from computer gaming n00bs to buay song bastards... We critique virtually everybody. Physical, mental and psychological deformities and deficiencies would not give you reprieve, but more torment instead.
The modes of torture and defamation include the mandatory gossiping, the formulation of crude jokes, the acerbic comments and the impeccable behind-the-back imitations.
If the victim in question is unaware of our caustic inroads on their integrity, then the maxim "ignorance is bliss" truly applies to them. However, once out in the open, the target will usually cry to no end and wind up hating our guts (but intestines are so beautiful!). They will then proceed to distance themselves from us. Eventually and unceremoniously, they fade from our memories while our revolting remarks remain with them indefinitely.
Today, for instance, there was a cell cluster worship leader (whom i'm sure is a extremely nice person and a good singer). She is unfortunately, endowed with several (million) pieces of excess baggage around her waist. On top of that (although i would not know what would fit on top of THAT), she has this subconscious tendency to adorn herself with skin tight tees and let hang jeans several sizes too small.
The result: ASS CRACK CENTRAL! She spent a whole 20 minutes sitting on the floor in front of everyone, oblivious to the fact that her assets were spilling out of the back of her pants.
This inevitably led to the EFers creating brash jokes and impossibly demeaning scenarios:
1) One of us suggested swiping a credit card through the buttline and commence poking her cheeks as per buttons on an ATM. When no money would appear (god i hope not), we would start violently knocking on it and demanding our $$.
2) Stick a $1 inside her cavernous butt cleavage and start twisting one of her cheeks while acting like an innocent child at a mama shop trying to get one of those plastic-sphere encased toys. When nothing came out (i hope not once again), we would start crying and calling for our mommy.
3) 'I may be an attention whore, but she's a crack whore.'
Even later on, when we were all doubled up with side-splitting laughter, we were cracking jokes and attributing our behavious to 'being high on ass crack'.
The nerve! We are such despicable creatures. How could we have the cheek to pull things like that? And not just this once... I, of all people, should know how they feel, being a fat persecuted bastard once before (nono not now. yes, im sure).
There are countless other instances of this non-inclusion and villainisation. I only hope that we can grow out of this phase in our lives. It may be (extremely) pleasurable, but i'm sure it only signifies that we are too insecure with our own lives and have to put others down to get our supplement our low self-esteem.
YEAH RIGHT!
Note: Away from the group syndrome, none of us are as the above. We are all gregarious, charming and charismatic beings that harbour no ill intentions. We also sincerely wish to address this social dysfunction and change for the better. Right guys? RIGHT??
High on ass crack to... Everything - Lifehouse
We are known (or feared) as the EFers - Extended Family-ers. Fret not, we did not choose the extremely pansy and anti-climatic moniker (adults did, but that's also besides the point). We are so hyper-exclusive that acceptance, let alone entry, into the association is as rare as a holofoil Charizard (read: scarce and valuable).
We persecute one and all. From irritating cousins to effeminate fg (x)s, from dua kees to various racial ethnicities (although we're not rascist, i think), from computer gaming n00bs to buay song bastards... We critique virtually everybody. Physical, mental and psychological deformities and deficiencies would not give you reprieve, but more torment instead.
The modes of torture and defamation include the mandatory gossiping, the formulation of crude jokes, the acerbic comments and the impeccable behind-the-back imitations.
If the victim in question is unaware of our caustic inroads on their integrity, then the maxim "ignorance is bliss" truly applies to them. However, once out in the open, the target will usually cry to no end and wind up hating our guts (but intestines are so beautiful!). They will then proceed to distance themselves from us. Eventually and unceremoniously, they fade from our memories while our revolting remarks remain with them indefinitely.
Today, for instance, there was a cell cluster worship leader (whom i'm sure is a extremely nice person and a good singer). She is unfortunately, endowed with several (million) pieces of excess baggage around her waist. On top of that (although i would not know what would fit on top of THAT), she has this subconscious tendency to adorn herself with skin tight tees and let hang jeans several sizes too small.
The result: ASS CRACK CENTRAL! She spent a whole 20 minutes sitting on the floor in front of everyone, oblivious to the fact that her assets were spilling out of the back of her pants.
This inevitably led to the EFers creating brash jokes and impossibly demeaning scenarios:
1) One of us suggested swiping a credit card through the buttline and commence poking her cheeks as per buttons on an ATM. When no money would appear (god i hope not), we would start violently knocking on it and demanding our $$.
2) Stick a $1 inside her cavernous butt cleavage and start twisting one of her cheeks while acting like an innocent child at a mama shop trying to get one of those plastic-sphere encased toys. When nothing came out (i hope not once again), we would start crying and calling for our mommy.
3) 'I may be an attention whore, but she's a crack whore.'
Even later on, when we were all doubled up with side-splitting laughter, we were cracking jokes and attributing our behavious to 'being high on ass crack'.
The nerve! We are such despicable creatures. How could we have the cheek to pull things like that? And not just this once... I, of all people, should know how they feel, being a fat persecuted bastard once before (nono not now. yes, im sure).
There are countless other instances of this non-inclusion and villainisation. I only hope that we can grow out of this phase in our lives. It may be (extremely) pleasurable, but i'm sure it only signifies that we are too insecure with our own lives and have to put others down to get our supplement our low self-esteem.
YEAH RIGHT!
Note: Away from the group syndrome, none of us are as the above. We are all gregarious, charming and charismatic beings that harbour no ill intentions. We also sincerely wish to address this social dysfunction and change for the better. Right guys? RIGHT??
High on ass crack to... Everything - Lifehouse
Came, Saw and Conquered by dw 8:05 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home